FanFic - Max/Liz
"The Liz Capades"
"Rollin' With the Homies"
Part 4
by Miranda
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Summary: A look at the dating prowess of Liz Parker, post-Balance.
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: PG-13
“No, Maria. No. No. No. I told you I am not going on any more dates with guys from our school. It’s just too embarrassing to have to see them again after each date ends in disaster.” Liz shoved a few more paper napkins into a dispenser and slammed the lid closed. It had been almost two weeks since her date with Levi, or rather his dogs, and she swore it was her last.

“What are you going to do?” Maria snorted. “Join a convent?”

“It’s crossed my mind.”

“Well, grab your rosary and start chanting a few Hail Mary’s because there is a totally cute guy checking you out.”

“What? Where? No, wait. I don’t care! I told you – no more dating guys from around here.”

“Well, I don’t recognize him. Take a peek for yourself. Booth three.” Maria sailed away to pick up an order.

Liz casually turned and made a show of reaching for another napkin dispenser. She slowly turned her head toward the booth Maria had indicated. “Oh,” she jumped back from the counter. “You startled me.”

Standing in front of her was a Nordic god. Liz shook her head and smiled as she jerked her eyes to the floor. “I do not swoon,” she mumbled to herself.

“I beg your pardon?” The god smiled down at her.

“Nothing. Sorry. I just didn’t realize anyone was standing there.” Liz felt the pull of his eyes and hesitantly raised her own. “Wow,” she breathed.

“I beg your pardon again?” He laughed.

Liz blushed a bright pink. “Oh god, did I say that out loud? It’s just, you have the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen.” Her eyes drifted over the rest of him, quickly absorbing the smallest detail. His blond hair was clipped a little shorter than she liked, but it fit him. He looked to be just under 6’, with a slim, athletic build. But very nice shoulders, Liz smiled to herself. He was dressed in dockers and a polo shirt - the picture of an all-American boy. But those eyes – they were the deepest, clearest blue she had ever seen. She squinted a little. There were little flecks of gray in them, too. Gorgeous!

Liz jerked backward as she realized she had been gradually leaning in toward him. He laughed self-consciously. “My family comes from the upper-Midwest so there’s lots of Viking blood in me. I guess that’s where the blue eyes come from.”

“I see.”

There was a moment of silence as Liz nervously fingered the stack of napkins. Finally, Thor spoke again, “I came over to get a few more napkins. I tend to be a little messy with those Blast-Off Burritos,” he smiled apologetically. “But, now that I have your attention, I find myself more interested in you than in lunch. I suppose it’s too much to hope that you don’t have a boyfriend?”

“No,” she whispered, her eyes locking on his. “I don’t.”

He smiled even wider. “Do you have plans for tonight?”

Liz shook her head, never taking her eyes from his.

“Would you like to go to the movies with me?”

Liz suddenly snapped out of her daze. “Oh… umm… I … I don’t remember seeing you before. Do you live around here?”

“No. I mean, yes, I live in Roswell, but on the north side. I go to Regis High. Those are my parents,” he gestured to the booth. “You can meet them and set your mind at ease that I'm not some whacko.”

“Regis? That’s parochial, isn’t it?” Liz smiled. Maybe Maria wasn’t kidding about the rosary beads. “Sure, I’d like to go to a movie with you.” She stuck out her hand. “I’m Liz Parker.”

He rolled his eyes heavenward. “Oh, smooth. Very smooth. Ask the beautiful girl out, but don’t tell her your name.” He grinned and clasped her hand. “Tyler. Tyler Hooks.”

Isabel Evans sat in a corner booth, chewing her bottom lip in growing agitation.


“Just a minute, I’m coming,” Maria grumbled as she pushed the stop button on the VCR. “Never fails. Whenever I just want to sit around and mope somebody has to call or knock on the door.” She stomped to the front door and flung it open, forgetting that she was wearing nothing but Scooby-Doo pajamas.

“Note that I am standing at your front door - no sneaking through windows or other stealthy maneuvers. I am living Czech-free these days.”

“Noted and I must say I am impressed.” Maria stepped back and motioned Liz to enter. “Tyler Hooks made you forget all about foreign men and their mysterious ways?”

“Actually, Tyler made me forget why I ever thought dating men was a good idea in the first place. Do you think it’s too late for me to become a lesbian?”

Maria leaned against the closed door with a sigh. “Another one?” She gestured to the bookcase on the other side of the room. “Let’s see if we have a copy of the Guinness Book of Records. Whoever holds the record for most consecutive dates from hell is going down.”

Liz flopped back on the sofa and stuck her legs out, staring at her shoes. Maria eyed her carefully. “Do you need Kleenex, ice cream, heavy mallet and something to smash?”

Liz shook her head. “No. I feel amazingly calm. I think it’s actually starting to just be funny.”

Maria hopped into the corner of the sofa and pulled her legs under her. She propped one elbow on the back of the couch and rested her cheek on her palm. “Okay, I’m set. Spill your guts.”

“Maria, when you look at me, do you think street gang?”

“Umm, let’s see. Science geek… daughter of the year… nope, not getting street gang, Liz.”

“Thanks, just wanted to make sure.”

“May I ask why?”

Liz grinned. “Remember how Tyler looked when he was in the Crashdown with his parents? You know, what he was wearing and everything? How would you describe him?”

“He looked clean-cut. Possibility of jock-status, but not of the hick nature like we have at our school. More… preppy.”

“Exactly,” Liz nodded. “When I met him at the theater tonight… well, I didn’t even recognize him at first. I mean, I walked right past him, he had to call my name. When I turned around…. He was dressed like a gang wannabe – complete with bandana around his head.”

“You’re kidding.”

Liz shook her head with something bordering on pride. “He was with a bunch of his friends. He introduced them as his ‘bloods’.”

“You know, we really don’t get that much gang activity in Roswell. This is kind of interesting.”

“Sorry, I’m afraid it just gets more laughable from here. One of them got the brilliant idea that we should sneak into the movies. So one guy paid, went through the theater to the service entrance and opened the door to let the rest of us in. Of course, that door also happened to be a fire exit, so the minute he opened it the alarm went off. Remember the old saying of how you should never yell ‘fire’ in a theater? There’s a good reason for that.”

Maria’s eyebrows shot up. “Little panic?”

“Pandemonium,” Liz allowed herself a small giggle. “Anyway, people are streaming out of the theater and we all run back to the street so we wouldn’t get caught for tripping the alarm in the first place. So, we’re standing in front of the theater, waiting for the fire trucks to arrive, and I keep wondering why I’m even still there. I mean, I should have ditched this guy by now, right?”

Maria shrugged. “In a sane world.”

“But, it’s like it wasn’t even real. It was just some play-acting adventure thing and I wanted to see what would happen next. Suddenly, there’s this ‘rival gang’--,” Liz made quote marks in the air, “—from their school standing in front of us.”

“Man, what is it with those Catholic school kids and their need to act out their aggression?”

“I know. Is it the nuns or just a desire to have something interesting to say during confession? Anyway, so they’re all facing off and I suddenly realize I’m the only girl there. So, I start to edge away a bit. Then the leader of the other gang asks me if I want to join them and leave the kindergartners behind.”

“Ooh,” Maria interrupted. “He called them ‘kindergartners. How very harsh.”

Liz grabbed Maria’s arm. “Wait. Wait, it gets better. Tyler grabs my arm and pulls me up against him and growls, ‘Don’t talk to my bitch that way’,” Liz lowered her voice in a poor imitation of a man’s.

Maria’s eyes widened. “He called you a bitch?”

“Not just any bitch – his bitch!”

“Oh my,” Maria wiped a hand across her face. “And your response?”

“First, I kicked him in the shin. Then, while he was preoccupied with the pain, I slapped him across the face.”

“That’s pretty much the way I imagined it. Then what?”

“Then the rival guys started laughing. Tyler whips out this knife and flips open the blade. I was terrified for about two seconds. Then I saw it was a jackknife - like the kind we had in Girl Scouts? With about a two-inch blade?”

Maria’s head dropped back on the sofa as the laughter poured out of her. “So, you’re telling me you were involved in a ‘rumble’? Did they perform a song and dance routine from ‘West Side Story’ first?”

“Yeah, right. It was more like a scuffle and I didn’t even participate in that. The fire department and police arrived and it seemed like the right time to sneak away from the scene of the crime.”

“Alone again at the end of the evening.”

“Actually, I met someone. He was waiting to see the movie, too and saw me trying to sneak away. He offered to walk me home so none of the ‘homies’ could harass me. We’re going out tomorrow night.”

Maria flopped back against the cushions. “Liz, I don’t think I can take much more of your love life.”

Part 3 | Index | Part 5
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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