FanFic - Max/Liz
"The Liz Capades"
"Dead Man's Party"
Part 5
by Miranda
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Summary: A look at the dating prowess of Liz Parker, post-Balance.
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: PG-13
Liz strolled through the kitchen and into the Crashdown. She waltzed around Maria, who was carrying a tub of dishes, and flicked Maria’s antennae. Maria scowled as her friend continued to circle her with a broad smile on her face.

“I see you’re all ready for your date tonight,” Maria sniped, nodding at Liz’s outfit. “How is it you managed to get both Friday and Saturday night off?”

“I know the owners. Not to mention I worked the early shift this morning and then straight through until 3:00 this afternoon just so I could get tonight off.”

“Mmm. I hope this Jack guy is worth it.”

“His name is Jack Carson and I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

Maria shook her head in disbelief as she set the tub on a dirty table. “Have you forgotten that your last four dates this month – I might add your ONLY dates this month – were with demons who spewed forth from the mouth of hell with the sole purpose of sucking the life force from an innocent girl and leaving behind her empty shell of a corpse?”

Liz just shrugged and smiled brightly.

“Liz, those were your own words.”

“Don’t throw my words back at me now, Maria. I was distraught – bruised – suffering from allergic reactions. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Maria paused, her fingers gripping the tops of water glasses. “You weren’t thinking straight? Liz, have you been drinking?” This last question exploded from Maria’s mouth, causing a number of heads to turn.

Liz cast a quick glance around the room. “Yes, Maria,” she replied – loudly. “I am drinking my eight glasses of water a day, just like the doctors recommend.” She shot a look at Maria that could have melted steel.

“Sorry,” Maria mouthed, then hoisted the tub of dishes on to her hip and carried them to the kitchen.

Liz picked up the rag Maria had left on the table and started wiping it down for her. She felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle and knew someone was watching her. She raised her head just in time to see Max Evans drop his gaze back to his cheeseburger. Liz drew her lower lip into her mouth. She had been so busy dancing around she hadn’t noticed Max and Isabel. She felt the familiar heat rise up her cheeks. She must have looked like such an idiot, getting all excited over another stupid date.

She sank down into the booth, staring at a tiny chip in the formica. But she was kind of excited, she couldn’t help it. After Max had treated her like a yo-yo, pulling her close and then pushing her away, she had wondered if it was her fault. If there was something about her that he just… didn’t like. Then all these good-looking guys suddenly started asking her out and it had been a much-needed boost to her ego. She sighed and began to pick at the chip.

She had actually found herself attracted to Tyler at first, before she found out he was a loser just like Dustin and Tony and Levi. So, if the only guys who wanted to date her were losers, what did that make her? And did that feeling that zinged through her when she first looked into Tyler’s eyes mean she was starting to let go of Max? And did she want to?

No, she reprimanded herself. No negative thoughts. She needed to get her best friend with her on this. She slid out of the booth and squared her shoulders as she walked determinedly to where Maria was filling a glass with Coke and whispering with Isabel. Liz frowned. While Isabel wasn’t an enemy of Liz and Maria’s, the relationship was certainly a strained one.

“You did what?” The Coke started to run over the top of the glass as Maria stared at Isabel in shock.

“Maria.” Liz reached for the overflowing glass before it could fill up the drip pan and spill onto the floor.

Maria jerked her hand away from the dispenser at the same time, sending Coke splashing down the front of Liz’s blouse and skirt. Liz gasped and looked down at herself, watching the droplets drip from the hem of her shirt to the floor.

“Oh, Liz, oh god, I’m so sorry. And your date is going to be here any minute. Go upstairs and change. I’ll tell him you’re running a little late.”

Isabel smiled and waved a hand in front of Liz, leaving her clothes clean and dry. “There. Problem solved.”

Liz offered her a hesitant smile. “Thanks.”

Isabel abruptly turned away from them. “Come on,” she brusquely called to Max. “I've got someplace to be and I need you to drive me.”

Max looked at her in surprise and then down at his half-eaten meal. “Uhh… well--“

“Now, Max,” Isabel interrupted as she collected her purse from the booth.

“Okay.” Max still looked dazed as he laid some money on the table, cast one final glance in Liz’s direction and followed his sister out the door.

Liz and Maria watched them silently. Liz finally spoke as the jeep pulled away. “That was weird. Why do you suppose Isabel had to leave so suddenly?”

“Oh, who knows. I mean, that’s just Isabel for you, isn’t it?” Maria gestured wildly to the door and then took a big gulp from the glass of Coke still clutched in her hand. “Always thinking of herself and scheming about one thing or another.” Maria set the glass on a tray with three others and started toward a table. Halfway there she spun around and hurried back to Liz. “Which one of these glasses did I just drink out of?”


Liz nibbled a breadstick as she watched the activity around the restaurant. Mama Maria’s was the best Italian restaurant in Roswell. So far, this date had been perfect. Of course, they had only been together for about half an hour, but Liz was just thankful that Jack seemed like such a nice, normal guy. She was actually enjoying herself.

“Where do you want to go to college?”

Liz looked at Jack and blushed a little. “Well, I’d really like to go to Harvard. They have such an excellent program. Of course, it’s not the easiest school to get into, but I’m working really hard to keep my grades up and graduate in the top 10% or so of my class. What about you?”

“I’ll be starting at the University of Minnesota this fall.”

“Wow, that’s a long way from New Mexico. What are you going to major in?” Liz reached for her water glass.

“Mortuary Science.”

Liz choked on her water, just managing to set her glass on the table without spilling it. “Really? That’s… interesting. I’ve never known anyone with that… uh… goal.”

“A lot of people fear it simply because they fear the idea of their own death, but I find both life and death fascinating.”

Liz simply stared at him for a moment, nodding her head up and down. She realized what she was doing and searched for something else to say. “I guess I’m a little surprised. I would think that it’s kind of a lonely profession. You know, not a lot of other people to… uh… talk to during the day. You seem so friendly and outgoing that I wouldn’t think you’d like that.”

“Well, I tend to daydream a lot so I like my private moments. I have a very active fantasy life.”

“I see,” she whispered.

Their food arrived at that moment and Liz tried to put aside the disquieting thoughts that had risen in her mind in favor of the steaming plate of ravioli in front of her. I’m sure it was a perfectly innocent statement, she argued with herself. I mean I have little fantasies and daydreams running through my head all day, too. Just because he admits he has a fascination with death and would prefer to spend his day with dead people who can’t talk so they can’t tell anyone how he’s violating their bodies stop it Liz. She jerked her head up and smiled across the table. “This is delicious.”


Liz found it increasingly difficult to carry on her share of the conversation or even look up from her plate. Every time he smiled at her Liz thought of Norman Bates and his taxidermy hobby. Liz reached for the Parmesan cheese just as Jack was doing the same. Their hands touched and Jack latched his fingers around her hand.

“Your hands are cold.” He turned her hand over, studying it. “And your skin is so smooth and flawless.”

Liz jerked her hand away. “It’s just really chilly in here. Usually my skin is very warm and clammy – all over.” Liz forgot about the Parmesan and picked up her fork to resume eating. She sensed Jack’s eyes still on her and finally forced her gaze up to meet his. “What is it?” Liz was a bit unnerved by his intense expression.

“Oh,” Jack pulled himself out of his reverie with a dazed smile. “I was just admiring the olive tones of your skin.” He reached across the table and turned her face to the side. Liz held her breath as he examined her profile and then turned her chin back to face him. He nodded, his eyes roving her face, taking in every detail. “Would you close your eyes, please?”

Liz felt her chin trembling as she dutifully closed her eyes.

“Beautiful,” she heard him whisper.

Her eyes flew open wide as she stared at him. She swallowed hard and opened her mouth, mind working furiously. “It’s not that I don’t love to hear someone use that word in reference to me, but….”

“I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget that anyone else is around and can hear me. I was merely trying to decide what type and color flowers would look good with your particular skin tones. Of course, it’s not just the complexion we want to consider, but also the personality of the person. For you, I think we want something with a touch of grace and elegance, not too showy.” He rubbed his chin as he continued to stare at her. “White roses, perhaps? Or… oh yes, calla lilies.”

That settled, Jack sat back in his chair and dug into his fettuccine. Liz watched him, her eyes following his fork as he scooped the pasta onto the tines and then pushed it into his mouth, tongue shooting out to catch a loose noodle. She slowly lowered her eyes to her own plate. She looked at the half-eaten remains of her ravioli and pushed the plate away with a soft groan.

“So,” Jack wiped his mouth with his napkin and waved his fork in the air. “What about marriage?”

Liz looked up in alarm. “What *about * marriage?”

“Well, do you want to take the plunge someday or do you plan to devote your life to science?”

“I…I don’t know. I guess it depends on if I meet the right person.”

“Yeah, I guess we all wonder about finding that special someone. But that’s why we date, right? In the hopes that we’ll meet the one that will make us forget about anyone else. I just hope I meet mine before I’m too old to care about the honeymoon,” he laughed.

Liz’s mind had started to wander, thinking about what he had said about finding the right one. She forced her mind back on to what he was saying – something about a honeymoon. “Do you have someplace special you want to go for your honeymoon?”

“Well,” he smiled down at his plate. “It’s not so much a specific place as it is something I’d like to do.” He studied her for a moment. “I’ve never told anyone this before, but… would you like to hear my honeymoon fantasy?”

Liz felt her mouth open, but no words came out. Not that it mattered. Jack didn’t wait for a response.

“My fantasy is to spend my wedding night in a cemetery.” Jack stared into space, his voice dreamy. “I want to make love to my wife while she lies on a grave, the moonlight reflecting off her pale, cool skin and the marble tombstone at her head.” Jack pulled in a deep breath and smiled, then looked down at Liz’s plate in surprise. “Done already? You know, I’m having such a good time talking to you I don’t want to see the evening end quite yet. The walk along Roselawn Avenue is really lovely in the evening. We could even stop by the wishing well in the park.”

Liz thought quickly. To get to the park on Roselawn Avenue one had to pass by Roselawn Cemetery. “I’m sorry. I guess I forgot to mention that my mother was sick today and I promised her I would be home early to take care of some things in the café for her.”

Jack’s eager expression fell at her words. “I understand,” he said. “I hope she’s feeling better soon. Maybe we could just have a rain check on the walk?”

Liz nodded slowly. “Sure. It might be a while though. We’re starting the next term at school and I’m taking some tough classes so I’ll be really loaded down with homework, plus I’ll be working extra hours at the café and, oh I almost forgot, I’m tutoring some kids for extra money and… all of my extracurricular activities…” Liz continued as she stood and pushed her chair against the table. “And you know what else I forgot to tell you? My… aunt… she lives just around the corner from here and I haven’t seen her in a really long time, so I think I’ll just pop in there for a quick visit.”

“What about your mother? I thought you had to get home right away?”

Liz looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Umm… my aunt - she’s going to want to see her, too. So I’ll just go over there and tell her how mom is doing and then she’ll want to drive right over there to see her and so I’ll just get a ride with her but I had a really fun time with you tonight good luck in Minnesota.” Liz pulled in a much needed breath and then abruptly turned.

Jack grinned as he watched Liz hurry away.


Liz collapsed on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Tonight didn’t really happen, did it? She rolled over with a moan and stared at the telephone. Maria was expecting her to stop over with tonight’s date report, but Liz just couldn’t bring herself to talk about it. But she knew she had better at least call Maria to let her know she made it home okay. Thank god, she thought as she punched in Maria’s number.


“Hey, Maria. Just wanted to let you know another date has bitten the dust.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” There was a moment of silence. “Did you want to talk about it?” Maria asked warily.

“No. This one was even weirder than usual and I just want to forget it ever happened.”

“Okay.” Did Maria sound relieved?

“Maria, is everything okay?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t everything be okay?”

“I don’t know. You just sound… funny.”

“That’s all in your imagination, Liz. Everything here is just fine.”

“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll say goodnight and go to bed then.”

“Right. Wait… umm… how about we get together for a late lunch tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that would be fun. How about –“

“The Chinese place,” Maria interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, let’s meet at the Chinese restaurant on Wilson Avenue at 2:30.”

Liz scowled at the phone. “Okay. Goodnight, Maria.”

“Goodnight. Don’t forget – 2:30.”

Maria pressed the disconnect button on her phone and immediately dialed another number. She chewed her lip as she waited for someone to answer on the other end. She straightened at the sound of the voice. “It’s all set for tomorrow,” she said. Maria hung up the phone and smiled.

Part 4 | Index | Part 6
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