Fanfic - Max/Liz
"My Love..."
Part 8
by Sabine
Disclaimer: Roswell, the characters, and the situations are owned by Regency Television and 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended.
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: PG-13
The next morning was a Saturday morning, and none of the pod squad felt a need to get up early. The clouds which had plagued the day before were gone. The sky was clear and Roswell looked the same as always. No one could possibly know that only two days ago, Liz Parker had died. She had died, but had continued to breath, eat, and sleep. It didn't seem fair that Liz Parker was dead, but her body had to stay behind and continue living. Why didn't anyone notice? It seemed so obvious to her, but others believed what their eyes told them. And their eyes told them that Liz Parker was very much alive.

Nancy Parker knocked on her daughter's door before opening it and sticking her head in. Liz had had another terrible, sleepless night. It had been filled with nightmares revolving around a certain Czechoslovakian, who shall remain nameless. Her bed sheets were all twisted and turned, but she had finally fallen into a relatively peaceful sleep. Nancy noticed the dark circles under her daughter's eyes and the paleness of her skin. Liz looked groggily up at her mom and let out a small moan. Hadn't she just gone to bed?

"I'm sorry to wake you up, especially when it looks like you really need the sleep. But, I wanted to make sure you knew that your shift starts in an hour. It's already eleven thirty!"

Liz buried her head back under the pillows, she had totally forgotten about her afternoon shift today. And she had to share it with Maria too. That meant she had to think of something to say to her persuasive best friend.

"Lizzie, you're not sick are you? We didn't get to see you much last night, sorry our meeting lasted so long. Should I tell your dad to find someone else to work this afternoon?"

Nancy sounded concerned, but Liz knew it was just her over-protective gene shining through. As appealing as the offer sounded, Liz didn't want to be sick. Sick meant going to the doctor and that was something she never looked forward to.

**Sick equals doctor...doctor equals hell...hell equals more torture...Yep...I think I'll pass.**

"No," Liz said from under her pillow. "I'm not sick, thanks, I think I can manage. Maria will only be too happy to help."

Maria would be following Liz around like a mosquito, trying to dig out the juicy details of Liz's personal life. The prospect was not appeasing.

"Oh, sure, just let me know if you change your mind."

Liz's mom patted the pillow above her head and then, thankfully, left the room closing the door behind her. Liz raised her head and gazed longingly at the ceiling. It looked pretty much the same, except one of the bumps wasn't as pointy as it was yesterday. She'd been spending a lot of time in bed.

"Another day, time to get ready and face the masses. You can do it Liz, all you have to do is get dressed and while your at it remember to put a paper bag over your face. Just don't let you features show any emotions, lock them inside. Oh yeah, but after you do that, you'll be fine. Piece-a-cake..."

She felt fresh tears threatening to fall, it was too much for her to handle. Too much responsibility, too much pain, too much darkness.

"I'm soooo screwed. There is no way this is going to work, you should've come up with a different plan Max. I telling you, this one is doomed for failure. I-I'm not that strong..."

Liz let the tears fall freely down her face, no use trying to dam the river if it was already overflowing.

**********

Michael was banging the pans around and throwing his spatula down on the grill. He shoved another plate of waffles over the counter yelling, "Liz, I got your order!" Shuffling over to the kitchen, Liz rested her head against the wall and sighed loudly. She had a major headache, one that couldn't possibly be normal. Nobody should have to withstand that amount of pain at twelve-thirty on a Saturday afternoon.

People were still flocking through the door for a late breakfast or early lunch. The noise level in the place did nothing to help her throbbing head. Furthermore, Maria had been badgering her for the last forty-five minutes.

**"What's wrong? Do you want some tea? So, what's happened the last few days? Did you know Max was sick? Oops, didn't mean to mention the 'M' word..." Oh my God, can she get any more annoying? I love her, but sometimes...jesus can't she shut up?**

Liz was trying to get her frustration under control, blowing up at Maria would only make her more curious. Michael, seemed to have other plans.

"Yo, Liz?! You gonna get this order anytime soon? I can't sit here all day."

Maria waltzed up to the counter and glared at Michael's back as he ran to save his hamburgers from being chard.

"God dammit, you son of a bitch. Burnt cow guts, fuck, this is just great!!"

Snickering, Maria glanced at Liz as she carried the laden plates to table five. Something was off with that girl and she was going to find out what. Michael, on the other hand, was being his usual self. She desperately needed to vent and he was always the perfect target.

"How long have you been working here? You know, you'd think cookin' a hamburger would be a no brainer, for a kick ass alien soldier like you."

"Maria, shut your trap. I'm fucking sick of hearing your voice," Michael growled. He was tired and already in a bad mood, Isabel had been trying to get him to talk to Max this morning. The guy obviously didn't want to be talked to, why was she so persistent?

**Well, let's see, because the king of our planet, our fearless leader, is in some kind of walking coma. Our enemies are in places unknown, preparing for an attack. Although, they HAVE been stalking us for the past two months. I guess that about sums it up...**

Michael rubbed his neck, which was sore from sleeping on the floor, opening his eyes he focused on Maria's swaying form. What the hell was she talking about? One thing was for sure, she was definitely pissed. Her face was turning crimson and her emerald eyes looked deadly. That girl didn't need super powers, a pissed off Maria DeLuca was enough scare any sane person. Her glossy red lips were moving a mile a minute, they were extra shiny and Michael was willing to bet she'd just applied that sweet strawberry stuff.

"Michael?!? You need some help there?? Michael?!! Agghh, he never listens."

Liz had come back to the counter and was looking between Maria and a detached Michael. He was obviously trying his best to ignore her. Not feeling a need to involve herself in their stimulating conversation, Liz picked up the last order and delivered it to the old couple sitting by the window. Heading to the bar, she dropped down onto one of the stools. They had a few minutes before people would begin to leave and she'd have to clear the tables. She gazed at the wall and let her head sink down onto her elbow. Her breathing slowed and the picture of an alien spaceship began to blur. Liz was so exhausted, lying to Max had taken up so much of her energy. And she'd only been living that lie for three days. How was she suppose to survive the rest of her life?

"Maybe eventually it will get easier, he'll move on and we won't have to see each other as much. Time heals a broken heart..." she choked. But the thought of Max moving on, was INCONCEIVABLE. She wouldn't be able to see him with anyone else. Someone might as well take a knife to her chest and let her bleed to death. Her heart was beyond repair. Even time would not be able to mend its shattered pieces back together.

The thing that got Liz the most, was that her agony and grief was self-inflicted. She had done this to herself. How ironic that to save her soulmate she had to sacrifice their love and her only chance at happiness. But it was worth it. Max was all that mattered, and he would be safe. Her sorrow and loneliness would eventually become a part of her. This was the way her life was meant to be. But even as these thoughts ran through her head, Liz felt unsure. She could feel herself faltering.

**How am I going to hold it together when I see him? I haven't even seen him since, well, since that night...and I'm hardly functioning now. How is this going to work when I DO see him? How am I going to be able to act like nothing happened?! I think I'm going to just shrivel up and die.**

As if on cue, Liz heard the bell ring against the glass pane of the front door. The familiar tingle shivered down her back. There used to be a time when she loved to feel that presence and turn around to be met by his embrace. Now, as she sat trembling, it seemed oddly like a death sentence. Her heart clenched and she had to consciously stop tears from rolling down her pale cheeks.

"Oh, no..." she whispered. "Not now, not here, I'm not ready..."

"Hey guys!! What do y'all want?"

Liz heard Maria's cheerful greeting and tried to sink lower onto the leather covered bar stool. Was there any possible way she could hide?

**Maybe they didn't see me. I could just disappear into the back room, take a nice long break. Why would he want to see you anyway? You betrayed him, slept with someone else, caused him pain. He'd probably be glad if you leave Liz.**

"Um, we're just here to talk to Michael...so when he has a break."

Isabel's eyes were traveling round the diner until they rested on Liz. Maria was trying to get Isabel's attention, but she also noticed the slight frown which flicked across the other girl's face.

"Well," Maria started in a confused voice. "Do you want something while you wait? It'll be a couple a minutes."

Snapping her neck around, Isabel smiled at Maria, and at the same time gently shoved Max their booth. He had stopped dead, his eyes locked on Liz's back. Max gaping at Liz was nothing new, but something about his expression confirmed Isabel's suspicions. Whatever had sent Max off into wonderland, had something to do with Liz. Could it possibly be the same thing that had Liz all tied up in knots?

"Isabel?! Max? Is there somethin' I should know about? Did the mother ship land? Helloooo?!?"

Maria shook her head and went back to ring up checks for the customers in line. All the while she was muttering under her breath, "Damn Czechs! I swear, sometimes..." her voice faded as she glanced around searching for her fellow waitress.

"Liz?! Come on babe, we got people waiting."

Max and Isabel both watched as Liz winced at Maria's words, but slowly rose from her perch on the far bar stool. Keeping her head down, she wove in and out of tables clearing the dishes into the kitchen. Max's gaze never left her slight form. He zeroed in on her, welcoming the feelings piercing through his chest. His throat closed up and he clenched his jaw in order to keep from crying out. He was a glutton for punishment, but a distant Liz was still better than no Liz at all.

Max couldn't believe he was still alive. The emotions corcing through his body should've been enough to kill him. Pierce could have shot him full of bullets or the Skins could have blasted him with raw energy, but the pain would dull in comparison to what Max was feeling right now. It was worse than anything he'd ever imagined. Worse than crying himself to sleep when he was six years old...worse than his life before he'd healed Liz...worse than the agony of loving Liz, but unable to have her...worse than that day she walked away from him, vanishing into the desert. He was now faced with the fact that he had failed. He had failed to uphold Liz's love. The unbelievable anguish of knowing she once had loved him, but now that blissful gift had perished, was more than Max could bare. She no longer cared for him. She no longer gazed at him, desire and longing clouding her eyes. She no longer reserved her heart for him. It was open to any and all admirers. Admirers such as Kyle. When Max tortured himself by wondering exactly HOW MUCH of Liz her ex-boyfriend had admired, he went insane. Blind rage was radiating off of him in waves. His body was shaking as he clenched a bottle of Tabasco sauce from the table. The thought of his hands, on her body, her beautiful soft body...

**GOD DAMMIT!! If that son-of-a-bitch did something to her...hurt her...I will fucking fry his brains out. He had better start running, 'cause there won't be anywhere he can hide. I'm not a murderer, but I would blast him without a second thought. CHRIST!! Shit! That fucking BASTE-**

"MAX!?!!"

Isabel's urgent voice cut through his murderous thoughts. She had looked at Max only seconds beforehand and was shocked. She could feel the anger and resentment streaming from him. The pressure within the bottle of Tabasco was building quickly. Another few seconds and...

Maria's scream erupted inside the small room. Which was accompanied by Isabel's gasp and the sound of glass raining upon the table and nearby wall.

"MICHAEL!?" Maria shrieked. Michael sprinted through the back door at the sound of Maria's voice. He looked like he was trying to decide whether to kill everybody, or just the few who seemed suspicious. Maria grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the booth. Michael's eyes widened and his mouth opened in a roar.

"Maxwell, what the HELL??!?!"

Maria jumped no less the two feet and quickly turned around to face the frightened onlookers. One young mother was trying to herd her children out the door as fast as she could. No telling what could happen next, especially in a town like Roswell. Maria did the first thing that came to mind.

"Thanks folks, we've got it under control. Just a minor accident, but we would appreciate it if you could clear the area. I see most of you fine people are finished eating," she announced to the few customers left. "I'll tell you what, your orders are on the house today. Why don't you all go outside and enjoy the rest of your afternoon?"

She proceeded to hustle everyone out the door, closing and locking it behind her. Liz's dad would understand.

Liz watched as her friends crowded around the booth. Michael was furious and ranting about how Max had endangered them all...who knew where the Skins were? Max blowing up a glass bottle with one look wasn't exactly the kind of low profile they were shooting for. But how could Liz blame him? Max's life had been turned upside down in the last week.

Isabel was looking at her brother with fear in her eyes. She had never been afraid of Max before in her life, but the look on her face portrayed pure terror. He looked about ready to kill someone. What was going on?

Max tried to slow his breathing down. His vision slowly cleared, leaving him able to see three worried faces staring back at him. What had happened? He could feel his powers settling down, but his emotions were still out of control. All he could register was a fiendish pain. It was piercing sharply through him. Rage and hatred came in second, as they were still boiling inside his veins. Looking down, he saw the mess that covered his hands and the table. He could smell the spicy fragrance of Tabasco sauce mixed with the scent of burning french fries. It seemed surprisingly fitting...the aroma of failure. Disaster. His gaze shifted and he spotted Liz. The color drained from his face, his eyes brimming with tears. She stood frozen, rooted in the same place since she saw the explosion. No one had noticed her.

Liz both saw and felt Max's intense gaze as it came to rest on her. Although she was completely unprepared for the uproar of emotions his look stirred inside of her. Her throat became dry, tears materialized and slide shamelessly down her cheeks. Her chest clenched even tighter against the walls of her heart. Closing her eyes, unable to witness the raw suffering displayed on his face, she felt her lips begin to tremble. What had she done? How could this possibly make things better? Liz was utterly terrified...what would Max say to her? Would he even talk to her?

Isabel, Maria, and Michael were watching the scene between Max and Liz. However, they were afraid to say anything for fear of interrupting the couple's unspoken exchange. Electricity crackled in the air, the tension was building and the skin on Maria's arm began to tingle. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced. But then again, the bond between Max and Liz was so unusual, you never knew what to expect.

Liz eventually opened her eyes to find Max still staring at her desperately. She gave a choked sob and whispered just one word, before she spun around and fled into the back room.

"No..." her voice thick with fear.

**********

Michael stared at the swinging door behind which Liz had disappeared. Her small feet could be heard pounding dangerously up the stairs. He had never seen anyone so tormented in his whole life. It was as if Liz's whole world had come crashing down, she looked so alone and frightened. And although Michael would never admit it, it scared him shitless. What could have possibly happened to affect Liz that much? Were they in danger? Would it happen to him?

Michael was still reeling from his thoughts, when he heard Maria exclaim, "Crap, what was that? I thought..." her voice trailed off. Michael turned to see what she was gawking at. Max had collapsed upon himself, he was balancing on the edge of the booth. His skin was ashen and he was shaking so hard to table was vibrating. He was obviously unable to control his body's actions. They couldn't see the hot tears, which were streaming down his face, because his head was bowed. Although, they could see the wet drops that splattered on the green leather bench.

Michael reached his hand out to his best friend. Max was doing a good job at blocking his emotions from their connection. Neither Isabel nor Michael knew how he felt. But the moment his hand touched Max's leather jacket, Michael snatched it back again. Somehow, the guy had sent a shock of power straight up through Michael's fingers and stung his arm. Muttering profanities, he backed away leaving Max alone. His arm would probably be numb for the next three days. Things just kept getting weirder and weirder.

"Yeah, not to mention complicated as HELL," He shook his head.

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