FanFic - Other
"Love Takes Time"
"Nobody Knows It But Me"
Part 6
by Mellissa
Disclaimer: Roswell, the characters, and situations are owned by the WB. No infringement intended.
Category: Other
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: Michael POV
I knew when I opened the door who'd it be. She was standing there, cold and distant. The way I used to be. The way I still am sometimes. She was shut down, unattached.

I had this feeling that this wasn't good. She was coming to yell at me for the pain I caused her or something. And, she'd have every right to. I had hurt yet again. No matter it had been well over a month since I broke things off with her.

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

"What is it?" I asked. I instantly regretted the words, because they were blunt.

"I need to talk to you. And I need for you to not be cold or mean," she said. It was the same phrase she always used when she really needed to talk to me.

"Come on, " I replied, moving away from the door. She brushed past me, and sat on the couch. "So, what's up?"

"I'm pregnant." She used nothing to cushion or soften the blow. Pregnant? I couldn't say anything. I forced myself to shut up. Anything I would say at that moment would be the wrong thing.

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

"Are you sure?" It's the only thing I can safely ask.

She nodded. "It was that night at the Crashdown. I mean, that was the only night it could have been."

I nod, in agreement. It was the only explanation. I had been in shock up until now, but the consequences were just beginning to dawn on me.

"Michael, please say something," she whispered, still not looking at me.

"What do you want me to say? Anything I can think is going to offend you."

"I can't have an abortion." Of course she couldn't. I could never ask her to.

"I would never ask you to."

"No, I mean I thought about it, but Alex said it'd be impossible. I mean, Michael, this's," she paused, and looked me in the eyes for the first time. "Michael, this baby is half-whatever you are. We don't know anything. What could happen, how long, what it'll look like..." she trailed off. I know what she means. An abortion could mean others discovering the truth. But a baby could mean that, too.

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

"Oh, God, Maria," I couldn't say anything else. There was nothing to say. Except there was no way I could ever leave or push her away again. I couldn't go home without her.

"I need to know that you don't hate me, or that you don't blame me. I need to know," Maria said, her voice quavering slightly. I look at her. Do I? Do I blame her? Do I hate her? I love her. I might not say it, but I know I do. As for blaming her, I'm as much to blame as she is. I lost control that night, too.

"I don't hate you. As for the blame thing. we're both to blame."

She lets out a huge breath of air, and I can see my answer has calmed her.

"My mother is going to hate you, you know." Suddenly the thought of Amy DeLuca finding out I'm the one that impregnated her 16-year-old daughter is a more frightening prospect than the govenment discovering my true origins.

"Yeah, I got that feeling," I mutter. I look at her. She's sitting at the other end of the couch, her arms wrapped around her. I move down to that end, and put my arm around her. She relaxes into my embrace.

"I need you tell me it's gonna be okay," she said. I rest my chin on top of her head. I don't know if it's going to be okay. What's going to happen. But I can't worry her.

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

"Don't worry. We'll get through this."


I told Isabel and Max immediately. They were both understandbly upset. Because, after all, we don't know what's going to happen. I don't want to say it out loud but I'm worried what carrying a half-alien baby will do to Maria. If she'd be safe carrying it.

But Isabel said something that I know is true.

"It's gonna take a group effort to get through this." When she says that, she means Alex and Maria, plus the three of us, of course. But Liz will be involved because she's Maria's best friend. Can Max and Liz coexist?

We've decided to hide it from Amy for a little while longer. Because if Amy knows Maria is pregnant, and then she loses the baby because of some alien thing, she'll get suspicious.

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

The only good thing that's come out of this so far is that I have Maria back. These last few weeks without her have been absolute torture.

The normal human thing to do would be scheduling check-ups and preparing for the baby. Because she's five months along. Four more months. But that's assuming it's a normal birth. Which is what really worries me.


"Michael." The word reaches me in the hallway. It's an angry one. The voice is unmistakable. Apparently, Maria has told Liz.

"What Liz?" I asked, turning around.

"How could you do this to her?" she asked. She's backed me into a corner. It's easier this way. No one to hear.


"Now, when you leave, she's going to have a daily reminder of you. How's she over supposed to move on?" Liz asked, poking an angry finger at my chest. I let her rage. After all, she's her best friend.

"I'm not going to leave her. How could you even think I could?" I can see my answer has subdued her.

"All right. Just don't screw around with her. She deserves better."

"I know she does." Once again my answer has shocked her.

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

"I'm going to helping. You make sure Max knows that," Liz said. She spins around and stalks off. I have this feeling that the next few months are going to be a roller-coaster.


Amy knows. She saw Maria throwing up, and guessed the truth. She stormed over with Maria in tow to my apartment. Maria had a suitcase with her. Apparently, Maria was to live with my until the baby was born. Amy made this decision hastedly, and I know she'll be back to retrieve her.

Until then, Maria's mine. There was nowhere to put her. It's a small apartment, and only one bedroom. Maria felt guilty about taking the bed from me, so she offered to share. I didn't wait to be asked again.

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

When we're lying side at night, and my arms are wrapped around her, making us both feel safe, I rest my hand on her stomach. Sometimes, I can feel the baby kick. And that's when I have this feeling that it's going to turn out okay.

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