FanFic - Max/Liz
"Finding My Way Back From Sanity"
Part 5
by Camilla
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Roswell. I have borrowed the characters from this excellent program and the books.
Summary: This is a Max/Liz Dreamer story with a shocking ending. Larek comes to give the Pod Squad history lessons in an effort to help them understand what part they each played in the downfall. He wants to help them understand what they need to do to correct this, but even he doesn't know everything. In between his visits, the aliens and the humans interact in ways that bring them closer. Everything that has happened from the Pilot through a Roswell Christmas Carol has still happened. I tried to answer those nagging little questions in a way I would want to see them.
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: Might be a little spoilerish. I hope you like it. I would love feedback.
The guys were eager to get out of the house, before they were given assignments to build a wedding chapel or something equally as ridiculous.

The Sheriff went back to work. Max, Michael, Alex and Kyle drove to the Crashdown to get something to eat. The girls were to call them when they were ready to be picked up. They wanted to discuss sports or enemies or anything not related to marriage, however they found themselves continually drawn back to the subject. They each talked about what it would be like to be married. Well they mostly discussed what it would be like to have sex, whenever they wanted to.

Alex, being the most honest and up front of the group, blurted out, "It would be nice to have sex, period." This got a round of smiles from the group. Michael brought up how difficult it was for him, not knowing what would happen, considering his alien status. It wasn't that he didn't think about it, a lot. More than a lot, actually. A great deal more than a lot. Max thought the same thing, but said nothing.

Kyle said nothing, he had after all made a promise, but he was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Max spent the next several minutes alternating between different emotions. Here he was having conversations about sex with the one guy that had been with Liz. He had let go of that emotion days ago, hadn't he? Trying to reconcile the barrage of emotions was distracting him to say the least. He was in a world of his own after that. Michael finally kicked him under the table when he realized that Max had left the building, so to speak.

"Ouch! What?", was his response to the kick.

Michael - "Just wondered if you were still here?"

Kyle decided to change the subject, to a certain degree. "Well Evans, are you pursuing your destiny with Tess?" There was more than a hint of jealousy in his voice.

Max - "No. We are just friends." Then noticing the look on Kyle's face and remembering a basketball game where he had heard the same tone in Michael's voice. "Why?" Kyle , trying to sound casual, "Just curious."

Max just smiled, his emotions were settling on one emotion in particular at this point. With that he grabbed his coat and headed toward the door. Turning briefly and without waiting for an answer he called out, "Kyle can you drive these guys home?"

Kyle - "Sure."

* * * * *

As Max drove to Maria's house he tried to figure out the best way to proceed. He hadn't figured out what he was going to say yet, but he wanted, no needed, to see her - now. Maybe he didn't need to say anything. Maybe he just needed to touch her, hold her. He figured it would just come to him once he got there.

He pulled into the driveway and walked to the door. The girls were all still sitting around the coffee table, in full planning mode. He suddenly felt uncomfortable, but as Liz looked up and into his eyes, that emotion faded and was replaced by another. This one felt more like … well it was familiar anyway. He was in the door and walking toward Liz before he had a chance to think about it. He pulled her gently, but firmly off the couch and dragged her toward the door, picking up her coat as he went.

Liz was stunned into silence and just followed him without protesting. All this talk of weddings must have gone to her head, she thought. They were gone before anyone had a chance to say anything.

"What the hell was that?" Isabel finally managed to say.

Amy and Tess just smiled at each other and both said, "It looked an awful lot like lust to me." Maria thought the same thing.

* * * * *

Max strapped Liz into the Jeep and walked around to his side to get in. She just looked at him with a mixture of amusement and confusion. She wasn't even too concerned about Tess, after hearing her describe her movie watching earlier. Liz had apologized for calling again, but blamed it on Maria, who also apologized. They all ended up laughing as they pictured the look on Kyle's face.

Max was silent as he drove out of town toward the desert. The top was up on the Jeep, but it was still a little chilly. He reached in the back seat and handed a blanket to Liz. She took it willingly, but not for the reason he intended. It was the same blanket they used the night they slept in the desert. The night they found the orb. She just hugged it remembering those few days before they found the orb. They were the most sensual of her life. She thought about them often. Too often.

Unfortunately, Max picked this particular moment to reach out and take her hand. He was quickly overcome with her feelings. They were coming in loud and very clear, vivid even. Or were those his feelings? He really couldn't tell. He just knew that he couldn't continue driving with these feelings, both emotional and physical, hitting him in waves.

Liz could feel the instant their connection was made. She had felt deep desire from Max before, but this was stronger. Or were these her feelings for him? Could her feelings be this strong?

Max suddenly pulled off the highway and into the desert. He had to use all of his will power to pull his hand from hers to keep control of the jeep. The connection broke as soon as his hand left hers.

Once the jeep was stopped, Max tried to catch his breath. It took every ounce of control he had to will his breathing, not to mention his body, to a more manageable state. After a few minutes, he just looked at Liz.

"Sorry. It was the blanket. It brought back memories of .. of… well you remember." she apologized.

"Well that was interesting to say the least." He hoarsely managed to reply. "Max, did I do that or were those your feelings?"

Max -"I don't know. I couldn't tell. Maybe a little of both."

After a brief moment of awkward silence, Liz tried to change the subject. "So what did you and the guys do after you left Maria's? "

"Well we just hung out at the Crashdown and talked, but it wasn't the same without my favorite waitress."

A little suspicious, Liz asked, "What did you talk about?"

Max looked quite embarrassed at her innocent question, but answered it, "Sex"

Liz still suspicious, "What else?"

Max - "That - uh - pretty much covers it."

Liz (smiling shyly) "Oh. Well that explains a lot."

Max - "Liz, I don't want you to think that I picked you up tonight just out of pure lust. I just wanted to see you. I needed to see you, to touch you."

Liz - "Isn't that the definition of lust?"

Max hopped out of the jeep and walked around to her side, "Or love. I missed you." He held out his hand to help her out of the jeep. "I wanted to spend time with you, alone. Is that so bad?"

Liz just slid into his embrace and buried her head in his neck. She just wanted to feel him, take in his scent. She couldn't be mad at him. She had been thinking the same thing all evening. He wrapped one arm around her waist and put his other hand on her neck and pulled her into a kiss. He kissed her lips, then tenderly her neck and then the smooth soft skin of her shoulder. These were not kisses filled with lust and over eager teenage passion. These were tender, gentle kisses that melted her very soul. These were the kisses of simple, honest, yet profound love. Kisses from a man who loved her more than she thought humanly possible. But then again he was beyond human and so were his kisses. Liz just clung to him for life. He was her life, her everything, just as she was his. He slowly broke the kiss and gazed into her eyes. She watched as his eyes darkened with true passion and love. The love he saw mirrored back at him took his breath away. "I missed you so much", he said as he again covered her mouth with his own. He felt her tears on his own face as she kissed him with more love than he thought his heart could stand. He knew they weren't tears of sadness. They were the tears of released emotion, so long buried. They stayed in desert for a few more hours, kissing, talking, watching the stars and just being together. They stayed away from the subject of Kyle. It wasn't important anymore, to either of them. Their time alone was healing the pain they had both suffered.

They held hands as they drove back into town. They both marveled at the fact that this first love, found so young, as their parents would say, would surely be their only love.

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