|"THE BALANCE STATEMENTS II"|
Disclaimer: Roswell Characters belong to Warner Brothers. No infringement intended.|
Summary: To give a summary would be to give away the plot. One word of CAUTION…our ratings have been weak so the network has insisted we try to liven things up a bit.
|(As you will recall, our heroes managed to free Alex and confiscate the stones from Milan and his friends', effectively shutting down their re-balancing business. Unfortunately, Alex was wounded in the process. Fortunately, Max was around to heal the bullet wound. Unfortunately…)|
Isabel: Uh oh!
Alex: This looks a little strange.
Isabel: It looks a lot strange.
Michael: What are you talking about?
Alex: I'm talking about the area of my leg where Max healed my bullet wound. Look!
Michael: I can't look, I'm driving.
(The others all look at Alex' leg. Guess what they see around the area that was wounded and healed? Right! Nothing…they see nothing…there is an eight inch invisible area and is seems to be growing.)
Isabel: Max, what did you do to him?
Max: Nothing deliberate…I just tried to help him.
Alex: I know Max! I'm glad the pain is gone…but I seem to have inherited your problem.
Michael: So your saying the area of Alex' leg that Max healed is now invisible?
Maria: That's what we're saying.
Liz: Oh Good Grief Charlie Brown…what next? I'm so sorry Alex. This all started because of my stupid hair dryer.
Max: How could I have transferred this? That may mean the invisibility has nothing to do with my non- human physiology.
Liz: It could also mean that when you heal, you actually transfer something of yourself.
Isabel: The time has come to concentrate on this problem. Max, tell us again what happened.
Max: I was…(cough, cough) Uh, Liz?
Liz: (She's still sitting on his lap, hugging his invisible naked body) Yes, Max.
Max: Could you move just a little so I can breathe? Not too much! (Pause) Thanks! That makes it easier to talk. Now what did you ask? Oh…yes…I was in Liz' room, trying to see why her hair dryer wouldn't work. I was trying to fix it when all of a sudden there was a big shower of electrical sparks and smoke coming out of it. I felt a jolt…and had to use some of my powers to protect myself and put out a fire on the rug caused by the sparks. Liz pulled the power plug almost immediately. I did get quite a shock. I don't know if I've ever experienced that kind of electricity before.
Alex: It's possible it was breathing in the smoke as much as the electricity that caused the invisibility…or maybe it was a combination of both.
Max: Always the analyst, aren't you? I told Liz that high voltage electricity might be another "sweat lodge" type thing for us. I really can't say. I just know this condition is the pits.
Liz: (Rubs his back and hugs him tighter.) It has it's advantages.
(Max… teasing… pulls her hair.)
Liz: Just kidding Max…I can't wait to see you again.
Max: Let's get some food and take it to Michael's. Eating seemed to trigger some visibility before.
Maria: (Teasing) Why take it to Michael's? Don't you want to eat before we get there?
Maria: (Playfully) Just wondering!
Max: I would like some clothes though. Isabel, when we get to Michael's, could you run home and get me some? …And make sure mom doesn't see you.
Isabel: I'll try.
Michael: I've probably got some stuff you can wear.
Alex: Pull into that Arbys. I'd like to see if eating slows this down. My leg is almost totally invisible now.
Isabel: Really…let me see. Oh my! That's bad! What are we going to do?
Max: Hey sis…I've been invisible all day…but now that Alex has the problem…it's a big crisis for you. Thanks a lot!
Isabel: Sorry! I didn't mean to imply that I don't care about you too. Obviously we need a fix for both of you.
Max: I know… I'm just need some help keeping a stiff upper lip.
Liz: (Making light of the statement.) Let me feel it. (Reaches to where she thinks his lips are.) Yeh...it's stiff alright. Kiss me!
Max: (Gives fairly quick kiss for a Max/Liz embrace.) Please Liz…let's not get too carried away while I'm in this condition.
(Michael pays for the food and they're on their way again. Max wonders what the cashier at the window thought if she looked in the back seat. Sitting on Max' invisible lap, Liz looks like she levitated. Soon, they arrive back at Michael's.)
Max: Man…I'm stiff…that was a tight fit.
Liz: (Happily) Yes it was.
Maria: Note to Alex…get bigger car.
Alex: Very funny…not!
Michael: Maxwell, here's a T-shirt and some pants. I don't guarantee the fit…
Max: Thanks! (He puts them on.) Much better! Even though no one could see me, going totally naked felt weird. It's amazing how we become accustomed to things…like clothes.
Maria: Not ready for the nudist colony, huh?
Isabel: I put the food out…dig in people. Let us know if there's any change guys.
(Everybody chows down…rescuing people is hard work.)
Alex: I hope we can find a cure soon…half my body's invisible now…it's spreading fast.
Max: I haven't been visible since that brief moment in the cavern.
Liz: I remember that eating seemed to make you visible before, Max.
Max: Doesn't seem to be working now. (Pause) Alex…I'm really sorry.
Alex: Don't worry about it, Max. If I'm going to be invisible, at least I'm in good company. We'll get this figured out.
Max: This is really dumb …I mean…what in the world do we do about it?
Alex: Maybe we need a negative shock or something.
Isabel: Anyone want some ice cream? Michael has a five-quart pail of butter pecan.
(They all scoop some out into bowls.)
Michael: Hand me the Tabasco sauce…it's in the fridge.
Maria: Here honey! You can have my portion of it.
Michael: I thought you liked it...it's one of my requirements for a woman.
Maria: I don't mind it on some things, but ice cream isn't one of them.
Michael: (Teasing) As long as you like it on at least some things we can still be a number.
Alex: I don't like it at all. Can we still be together, Isabel?
Isabel: As long as you don't care if I eat it.
Alex: Eat all you want! I promise…you can always have my share.
Liz: Want some Max?
(Liz pours some sauce on Max' ice cream. They all enjoy the dessert…Max and Michael even have seconds. A short time later…)
Liz: Look…I can see Max.
Isabel: Hey…OK…and he still looks like my brother.
Liz: It so good to see him again…I was having withdrawal.
Max: Interesting! I wonder how long this will last this time?
Alex: I'm afraid I'm not faring as well.
(Alex is almost totally invisible now.)
Isabel: (Smiles...she looks devious.) This can't be a coincidence. Alex…eat some Tabasco sauce.
Alex: Blah…yuk! Why would I want to do that? I told you I hate it.
Isabel: Just do it…put some over ice cream if you want.
Alex: Only because it's you that's asking.
(Alex about gags…but he gets down a few bites of Tabasco sauce covered ice cream.)
Michael: What are you trying to do to him? Tabasco is an acquired taste…and he obviously hasn't acquired it
Isabel: Well, he better be working on it.
(Amazingly, Alex' invisibility is reversing itself…now it's just his left arm and right leg that are still invisible.)
Maria: I don't believe this. The Tabasco sauce cured them.
Isabel: I don't know if it completely cured them, but it sure helped. Here dear, have a little more.
Alex: Gag…puke…that stuff's awful. (Takes deep breath.) OK, here goes.
(Alex eats the rest of the bowl…and his arm returns to normal. Max main lined by swallowing about half a bottle of the stuff. He's completely normal now.)
Max: As I think about it, after this first happened, every time I became even partly visible, it was right after I had some Tabasco.
Liz: The Arbys food…even with their sauce… didn't help. It had to be Tabasco.
Max: Sure looks like it.
Alex: It could be a chemical reaction…your body…and whatever of yourself you shared with me… was craving it. The electrical shock probably neutralized all of whatever's in this stuff that your body wants. What's in Tabasco sauce anyway?
Maria: You probably don't want to know.
Isabel: Alex, you're not going to like this…but I'm making you a Tabasco cocktail…and you're going to drink it…all of it. We'll make your leg visible again.
Alex: Please…I'd rather be invisible.
Liz: So…this problem is behind us?
Max: I hope so. If it ever comes back, we know exactly what to do.
Alex: I don't think it will come back. I think our chemical balanced has been restored.
Liz: So this WAS a balance issue…just a different kind of one...chemical, not emotional.
(Max leans over and kisses Liz.)
Liz: You have to admit…the ride home was kinda fun.
Max: For whom?
(Liz smiles…then runs…Max chases her around the room. He catches her…)
Max: (Kisses her again) How much fun was it?
Liz: Tell you later.
Isabel: OK Alex…this is for your own good. Michael…hold him down.
(Michael and Max hold Alex as Isabel forces her concoction down him. They release him. His formerly wounded and invisible leg reappears. He's totally normal now too.)
Alex: Gag me with a spoon! I'm going to throw up on all of you!
Isabel: I'm sorry honey…but that was necessary.
Alex: I'm sorry too! Max…if you're ever invisible again and I'm ever shot again at the same time…
Max: I know…call Michael.
Alex: Thanks man!
Isabel: Well, there's one more issue to be cleared up.
Liz: What's that?
Isabel: Is Matthew one of our people…even in part?
Liz: I got a slide of his blood. We need to take it to the lab. I just love looking at Max' blood…I've done it so much I could spot any similarities Matthews's blood might have in seconds.
Max: You love looking at my blood huh? I didn't know you had vampire tendencies.
Alex: I'm sure it's only because she thinks you're an Angel, Max.
Isabel: (pause) Alex Whitman! That was bad…bad…bad. Wash your mouth out with Tabasco sauce.
Alex: Noooo! Not that! I'm sorry, sorry, sorry!
Max: Let's go home…it's late and I'm beat. We can look at the slides on Monday and decide if we should return his stones.
Michael: You're right! Monday is soon enough.
(Can you believe it? Tabasco sauce saved the day! We just had to have another balance problem to solve. After all…this is the Balance Statements Network. We don't know if the next episode will be the season finale or not…but we know we can't leave any loose ends. Then again…may be we should leave some if we want to be back on next season. Then again…who knows if the BS Network will still be in business next season. Then again, we've probably run the balance thing off the fulcrum anyway. In any case, please stay tuned for the BS Network's new cooking show, "Gut Bombs For The Young and The Restless". On tonight's show, they'll be demonstrating new ways to cook with Tabasco sauce. We're sure the "We Six" will be watching. )
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