FanFic - Crossovers
"Talk Show Host"
Part 4
by Kes
Disclaimer: I do not own, no lawsuits please.
Summary: Max, Isabel, Michael, Liz, Maria and Alex try to have a normal weekend.
Category: Crossovers
Rating: PG-13
"Are you okay, Isabel?" Max asks looking at his sister.

Isabel scoffs, "I'm still alive."

For a few seconds, Max and Isabel look at the door and listen to the GUA Domino's delivery guy's gun fire. Max closes his eyes and snaps his fingers. The firing stops.

"What did you do, Max?" Isabel faces her brother.

He replies, "I reversed the gun fire."

Isabel pats Max on the back and smiles. "Way to go, bro. That is so witty."

"Thanks," Max's eyes scan his sister's messy hair and runny make-up. He tries to keep his face expressionless, but accidentally chuckles.

"What's so funny?" Isabel demands.

Max can no longer hold his laughter. He cracks up. "I have never seen you look so [laughter] [laughter]...the way you look, Isabel [laughter]."

Isabel waves her hands in front of a nearby wall, making it a mirror. She gasps at what she sees.

"I'll fix you up, sis." Max points in Isabel's direction.

"Tha.." Isabel almost says thanks while looking into her recently made mirror. She sees herself looking like Marilyn Manson. "Max! You...(Max laughs harder.) Take that!" She points a finger in Max's direction.

Max waves his hand in front of a nearby wall, making it a mirror, like Isabel's mirror. He gasps at what he sees. (Isabel laughs.) He looks like a member of Kiss, with full make-up on. "Oh it's on, Isabel!" He points in Isabel's direction.

She looks in her mirror and sees herself look a lot like Freddy Krueger from 'Nightmare on Elm Street.' Isabel jumps, startled by her image. She retaliates, pointing a finger at Max and laughs harder.

Michael turns the corner, "What is going on...(Michael screams like a girl being chased in a low budget horror movie). Max and Isabel laugh aloud at Michael's reaction.

Recognizing the laughter to be the laughter of Isabel and Max, Michael stops screaming and puts his left hand over his heart. He speaks flatly. "My heart is trying to jump out of my chest. Oh you two are sooo funny. Ha. Ha."

Max turns to his mirror to see who Isabel made him look like. Pinhead from 'Hellraiser' stares back at him. Max yelps and jumps from his mirror.

Hearing all the commotion, Liz, Maria and Alex run around the corner to investigate. With his hands covering his ears, Alex looks at Freddy Krueger (Isabel) and then at Pinhead (Max) and instantly faints. Liz freezes in her foot steps upon sight of the two horror movie characters.

Maria says, "This isn't Elm Street and I haven't opened any strange puzzle boxes, but I guess anything goes today." She notices Michael is clutching his shirt just above his heart and panics. "Oh no, Michael! I'll save you!" She looks at Freddy Krueger and threatens, "Oh, I got your nightmare. 'By the power of Grey Skull...I have the power!!!' (She borrows He-Man's line from the same named 80s cartoon.)" Maria tackles Freddy Krueger (Isabel) to the floor.

"Maria don't!" Pinhead (Max) exclaims, too late. Liz deduces that Pinhead (Max) sounds just like Max and figures that Freddy Krueger (Isabel) is probably Isabel.

"Maria, stop!!! That's Isabel and Pinhead is Max!" Liz yells.

Maria stops her assault on Freddy Krueger.

Max points a finger, making Freddy Krueger look like Isabel again. Then he points at himself, returning his own original appearance.

Maria cautiously gets off of Isabel. "I'm so sorry, Isabel. I thought you were..."

Isabel chuckles. "You thought I was Freddy Krueger. It's okay, Maria. You didn't know. I blame Max completely." She rises to her feet with a helping hand from Maria. "Thanks, He-Man. (Maria blushes.)"

Alex wakes up. Liz runs to Alex. "Are you okay, Alex?"

"Yeah. All the stress must be getting to me. Liz, I could have sworn that I saw Freddy Krueger and Pinhead."

Liz chuckles softly while smoothing down Alex's hair. Then she helps him up from the floor. "The stress must be getting to us all, Alex, because we all saw Freddy Krueger-Isabel and Pinhead-Max."

"Okay guys, enough fun. We're at war, remember?" Michael walks over to Maria and laces his fingers with hers. "Thanks, He-Man."

Maria talks quickly. "Well, I worried that maybe you guys are susceptible to something. You know? Like how Superman can be hurt by kryptonite. And seeing Freddy Krueger, Pinhead and you clutching your heart, I was sure that whatever may act similar to kryptonite for you guys was hurting you." Maria just notices that Michael's fingers are laced into hers and beams up timidly at his face.

Michael pecks Maria on the lips. Her eyes light up. "Lets keep this casual, okay?" Maria smiles from ear to ear and shakes her head spastically up and down in agreeance.

Isabel rolls her eyes in their direction, then checks her image in the mirror one last time, finds her image satisfactory, then returns her mirror to its original wall state. She does the same to the mirror Max made from the wall nearest him.

Max puts his arms around Isabel, Liz and Alex. "I'm starving. For now, this little war is calm. We should all eat to keep our strength up. the kitchen." Isabel, Liz, Alex, Maria and Michael snicker.

"What?" Max questions, not knowing Isabel jut turned his hair into a tall afro.

They all walk down a short hallway and turn into a room that is the kitchen.

"Why do you think the gun fire stopped?" Liz nervously takes a section of hair and gnaws on the ends.

"My guess is that our uninvited pizza delivery guy shot himself." Max replies with a little grin.

"I don't understand, Max." Liz releases her section of hair and asks Max's afro while moving her tongue around in her mouth, searching for a strand of hair that preferred joining her mouth over remaining in her section of hair.

"I reversed the gun fire." Max proudly says. Then he notices Liz's struggle to get her loose strand of hair out of her mouth. "Say ah."

Liz opens her mouth and sticks her tongue out, then she moves her tongue around.

"I don't see anything, Liz. I think you swallowed it." Max informs her.

Liz makes a frown and clucks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "I know I swallowed it. Yuck."

Max continues to explain. "When I reversed the gun fire, he more than likely shot himself and then dissolved. That's what they do when they die."

"They?" Michael gives Max his undivided attention.

"The GUA...Aliens trying to take over the world." Max tightens his arms around Isabel, Liz and Alex.

"Of course. We can't have a weekend without impeding somebody's vision of taking over the world." Maria says sounding sarcastic.

Max does a head count. "Negative one. Hey, where's Cade? Is he in the bathroom? If so, did he fall in?"

Liz, Alex and Maria give Michael a tattle tale gaze.

"Michael, what did you do to Cade?" Isabel demands. Michael carelessly shrugs his shoulders.

"Michael, tell me Cade is all right." Max removes his arms from the shoulders of Isabel, Liz and Alex, walks over to Michael and grabs him by the shirt. Michael looks at Max's afro with a smug smile.

Maria mumbles under her breath, "By the power of Grey Skull..." preparing to defend Michael.

"Take five, He-Man. This is between me and Michael." Max says keeping his eyes intently on Michael. Michael keeps his eyes intently on Max's afro.

"Down, Maria. I can handle Max." Michael lowers his eyes to Max's face. "If you want to rumble over some outsider that's made our existence here harder than it already is, then bring it on Maxwell."

Liz takes big strides over to Max and Michael and is suddenly between them with her left hand on Max's chest and her right hand on Michael's chest. The sound of a cellular telephone ringing breaks up the brewing brawl. Max backs away from Liz and Michael and follows the sound of the ringing cellular telephone toward the living room.

Cade answers his cellular telephone. "Eddie? Yeah, I'm still alive...No thanks to you. Is this line secure? It better be! No, I'm not still in a parking lot. Now? I don't know where I am now, it's some house and I'm on a ceiling. Yes, you heard me right, Eddie...a ceiling. No, I don't know how. Hey, don't get snippy, Eddie! Yes, I know you always worry about me. Did you take your Prozac, today? I did not think so. Eddie, take your Prozac. Oh here we go again. If you gave me a chance to call you back...Eddie? Eddie?!" Cade hits the end button, dials the number of his friend, Eddie, and hits the send button. "Eddie? Are you okay? What?! You hung up on me? I can't believe you hung up on me! You were testing me to see if I remembered your telephone number? Well test out this dial tone, Eddie!" Cade pushes the end button on his cellular telephone and shoves it into an interior pocket of his jacket.

Max, Isabel, Liz, Maria, and Alex enter the Evans' living room. "Cade!" Max looks in awe at Cade, who is suspended by his back to the ceiling. "Are you okay?!"

Cade sees Max's afro and belly laughs. "Nice hair style, Max."

"Thanks," Isabel mumbles under her breath but Max hears her.

Max feels his hair and is surprised by the width, fullness and texture. "Isabel," he says flatly. He waves his left hand over his afro and his original hair returns.

Cade stops laughing. "Incredible."

Isabel gently guides Cade to the living room floor with her powers.

"Amazing," Cade whispers after his feet touch the floor. "Thanks for getting me down."

"Shut up. I'm still mad at you. Don't mistake my pity for forgiveness. Besides, I feel a little guilty and responsible about the ceiling torture thing..." Max adds onto Isabel's sentence.

"Because when Michael got on her nerves, when we were little, she'd pin him to the ceiling. When no one was around, of course." Max peers shamefully at his sister.

"I wouldn't let him down until he cried. (Maria sympathetically gasps) Michael was such a menace, then." Isabel runs her left hand through her hair and shudders. "I thought my hair would turn grey by the time I was 10."

"Was? 'Was such a menace?'" Max groans. "I'm sorry, Cade. Michael lacks most of your basic people skills. But he is so much better than he was. Believe it or not."

"It's my fault. Michael said he didn't feel like me. But I kept trying to make casual conversation." Cade crosses his arms. "You kids are extraordinary."

Isabel and Max glance at each other and drop their head to the living room floor.

Max, Isabel, Liz, Maria, Alex and Cade walk out of the living room, down the hall and around the corner to the kitchen. They discover Michael sitting on a counter eating from a huge fruit bowl, with the use of a big serving spoon.

"Michael, what are you eating?" Isabel sounds suspicious, tilts her head and puts her hand on her hip.

"[crunch, crunch] It's...[crunch, crunch, crunch]...magically...[crunch]...[crunch]...delicious." Michael answers.

"My Lucky Charms!? Jerk!" Isabel exclaims. "But I hid them!"

"[crunch]...[crunch]...I know." Michael smiles.

"Why don't you ever eat Max's Apple Jacks?" Isabel sounds whiney.

Michael shrugs his shoulders at Isabel.

Isabel continues to whine. "My mom bought three boxes of your favorite, Fruit Loops, just so you wouldn't touch my Lucky Charms."

"[crunch, crunch]" Michael stares fiendishly at Isabel.

Isabel stomps her left foot on the kitchen floor. "If you used all the evaporated milk, I'm going to beat you up. You hear me, Michael?"

"[crunch, crunch]" Michael shakes his head, yes.

Alex sits at the kitchen table, folds his arms on the table and buries his head in his arms. Maria leans on the counter beside Michael. Max sits down at the kitchen table, sighs and shakes his head at Michael. Liz strokes Alex's back, trying to comfort him. Cade stands looking bewildered at the group of teenagers.

Isabel opens and slams several cabinet doors until she locates several cans of evaporated milk.

"You are so lucky, Michael. You came this (She snaps her fingers.) close to getting the beat down."

"Maria, be a pip and hand me some more tabasco sauce." Michael points to the cabinet that shelves the tabasco sauce.

"Eww...Eww" Alex says into his folded arms and the table.

Maria hurries to the tabasco sauce containing cabinet, pulls out an industrial sized container of the sauce and hands it to Michael. Michael looks at the tabasco sauce and at Maria. "Can you be a dear and pour it for me?"

Maria slams the container on the counter beside him. "Yep, just as well as you can be a dear and pour it yourself." She makes a huffing sound, goes to the kitchen table and sits down. Michael's eyes widen in surprise to Maria's defiance.

Isabel opens the refrigerator door and begins searching for food that everyone can eat.

Liz sits down at the kitchen table beside Maria and gives her a supportive, playful punch on the arm. Maria smiles with gratitude at Liz.

Michael pours more tabasco sauce over his Lucky Charms and evaporated milk. Cade feels his stomach turn over as Michael brings the big serving spoon of Lucky Charms, evaporated milk and tabasco sauce to his lips. Walking a little uneasy and clenching his stomach, Cade takes an empty seat at the kitchen table, near Max. Then Cade folds his arms on the table and buries his head in his arms. Cade and Alex both groan listening to Michael enjoy his special cereal.

Max explains for Cade's benefit. "We like extreme sweet and extreme hot things, to eat."

"Mmm. Mmm. Mmmm [crunch, crunch]...Mmmm...Mmmm. Mmm." Michael sounds and looks like he is enjoying his food to the fullest. "Mmm...Mmm. [crunch, crunch] Mmm..Mmm"

"Michael, it's not THAT good! You can cut the sound effects!" Max snaps at Michael.

"[crunch, crunch] Umm...Mmm. Michael finishes his cereal and belches.

"Michael.." Max squints his eyes in Michael's direction.

"My bad." Michael waves his hand, cleaning the big serving spoon and the huge fruit bowl. "Great appetizer. What's for lunch, Isabel?"

"Eat...dirt!" Isabel yells. (A potted fern plant that sits on top of the refrigerator hurdles by itself to Michael.)

Michael stops the plant's course to his face an inch away from its target. "Oh, Isabel...You're losing your touch. Too slow!" He sends the fern back to the top of the refrigerator without touching it.

Isabel growls at Michael while she continues to pile food in her arms from the refrigerator and freezer. Michael gets off the counter puts away his cleaned, huge fruit bowl and big serving spoon. Then he walks over to Isabel and innocently takes some of her load of food to the counter. Isabel sees Liz and Max making goo-goo eyes each other.

Isabel barks, "Max, take the drink orders and set the dining room table."

With a little attitude, Max saunters from his chair, to a cabinet, opens the cabinet without touching it and grabs seven glasses. From the same cabinet, he takes out seven plates. Then he opens a drawer near the sink and grabs seven knives, seven spoons,and seven forks. "Izz, should I also set up for salad and dessert?"

"Uh-huh." Isabel looks really hard for salad dressing. "Are we out of salad dressing, Max?"

"Not guilty." Max says while counting out seven dessert bowls and seven salad bowls. "Dad used the last of the salad dressing."

"Oh well. I'll improvise." Isabel hands Michael more food to put on the counter.

Cade's temporary gross out from Michael's appetizer passes. He gingerly lifts his head off the kitchen table and watches Max, Isabel and Michael. "What happened to that GUA Domino's pizza delivery guy?"

"It's all handled, Cade." Max assures Cade. "Shoot! (Alex groans into his arms, "Oh please, no more shooting.") The car...I forgot that was still out there!"

"Nope. Gone. I moved it to the mall." Isabel confesses finally shutting the refrigerator and freezer doors.

"Huh? When?" Max says in Isabel's direction.

"Before my 'Nightmare on Elm Street' experience, I sent the car to the mall and repaired the damage done to the garage, by the gun shots." Isabel gloats.

Liz gets out of her seat to help Max carry bowls, plates and flatware to the dining room table.

"It is so quiet. (Maria knocks on the wooden kitchen table) That GUA dude must not have called for any back up. I hope." (Maria knocks on the wooden kitchen table, again.) Maria introduces herself and the others to Cade. "I'm Maria DeLuca (She points at herself). That's Liz Parker over there with Max, and that is Michael Guerin. You met everyone else, right?"

"Right." Cade replies.

"Excuse me, Cade, what do you want to drink?" Max asks.

"Um. I'm not use to having a choice. Do you have soda?" Cade inquires.

Max and Liz giggle at his naive question. "We have everything imaginable. What do you want?"

"May I please have a cream soda, with ice?" Cade looks curiously at the seven empty glasses and they at Max.

Max puts half a cup of water in each glass. "Does everyone else want their usual?"

Everyone else answers yes, except Alex. He groans. Maria gets out of her chair, walks over to Alex and strokes his back.

Max waves his right hand, turning the water in each of the seven glasses into ice cubes.

Cade groans, then returns his head to his arms on the table.

Max fills the seven glasses of ice with water then waves his right hand over them again. "Okay, I have one cream soda, one Sprite, two Cokes and three diet Cokes." Liz helps Max carry the drinks to the dining room table.

Max and Michael help Isabel prepare the food, which is ready to be served in about five minutes, tops. Liz helps them carry everything, including napkins and condiments to the dining room table.

Max pulls out Liz's chair for her.

"Thanks, Max." Liz says with an appreciative tone of voice.

Maria and Alex sluggishly enter the dining room with their stomachs growling out a conversation. Alex takes the chair nearest him and sits down.

Max pulls out Isabel's chair and Maria's chair using his powers.

"Thanks, Max." Isabel and Maria say in unison after they sit down.

"Good dog, Max." Michael mumbles to himself with a jealous look on his face as he chooses a seat and sits. "You are so trained." He mouths in Max's direction.

Max reads Michael's lips and clenches his teeth. He sits down in a chair beside Liz. Then Max surveys the table. "Negative one." Max whips his head in Michael's direction and threatens him. "If Cade is on that ceiling again, or any ceiling, for that matter..."

"Here I am." Cade trots over to an empty seat and sits down.

Max sighs with relief. "I'm sorry Michael."

Michael raises his left hand in front of his face, showing only his ring finger, middle finger and pointer fingers, touching. "Read between the lines, Max."

Cade looks at all the faces at the table while he talks. "I called Eddie. His sources say the GUA dispatched Domino's pizza delivery guys to all the houses in Roswell, with a Jeep. Here is the good news: Eddie said that on the news (television) there are several reports of people 'accidentally' shooting themselves and then dissolving. News stations, in different countries, picked up by Eddie's satellite dish are broadcasting similar news stories all over the world, right now." Cade looks at Max. "You reversed gun fire on the GUA everywhere."

Everyone's face lights up, except Max's face. All the table's faces look at Max. Max pales a little and opens his mouth to speak. "I don't know how long it will last, Cade. It's not something I do's new to me."

"Regardless, you made an impact. You took the wind out of the GUA's sail. They're death. It's winning small battles like this one, that will help Earth win this incognito war against the GUA."

Cade is distracted by the smell of food. Just noticing everything on the dining room table, Cade's stomach thunders and his mouth waters. Cade's hands suddenly tingle. "Whoa, what was that?"

"I washed everyone's hands." Isabel turns bowls of water into different salad dressings.

Cade rubs his hands together. "Oh. Um, thanks." His stomach rumbles again. "I thought at best you kids would serve up some leftover Domino's pizza. This is incredible! My compliments to the chef! (Isabel blushes with pride.) Wow! Four different tossed salads, five different salad dressings, rolls, lasagne, tacos, chicken, four different soups, seafood salad, fruit salad, cheesecake, five different pies, seven different cakes, several different fresh fruits, four different muffins, eight different ice creams, macaroni and cheese, corn on the cob, peas, cooked carrots, brocoli and leftover Domino's pizza. And that's just on my side of the table."

Liz grins. "Isabel is an exceptional hostess and an even more exceptional cook." (Isabel blushes with pride, again.) Max, Michael, Alex and Maria shake their head affirmatively.

"Cade, who is Eddie?" Liz asks.

Cade talks to the food on the table. "Eddie is a clinically depressed, paranoid schizophrenic/genius. I love him like a brother I never wanted. He's a good man and my best friend, who has helped me out more times than I can count."

Liz shakes her head slowly. "Oh." A moment of silence falls over the table.

Maria speaks. "Who is toasting this time?" Maria says hinting to Alex.

Alex looks more vibrant, seemingly excited that he is about to eat. "Oh no, I did the toast last time...Maria."

"That's right. Sorry, Alex." Maria says in his direction.

"I know I have really worn out my welcome, here. But, do you mind if I do the toast?" Cade asks, seeking permission from any one of the table of faces.

"Go ahead, we haven't had a fugitive toast before. Knock yourself out...soon." Michael insists.

"Enough already, Michael! You have been obnoxious all day! Cade is our guest! Please stop with the hostility bit...NOW!" Max warns. Max looks at Cade. "Cade, you are our guest. If you were not welcome here, you would not be here."

"I'm sorry, Cade." Michael mumbles toward his still empty plate.

"Thanks, Max, but I do understand where Michael is coming from. I'm sorry I intruded on your day, Michael...on everybody's day. And I'm sorry I endangered your lives." Cade's voice cracks a little. Thank you so much for saving my life, taking me in and for letting me share in this delicious looking buffet." (Cade's stomach growls) He raises his glass of cream soda. Everyone else at the table follows suit. "Here is to the pursuit of just one normal weekend...just one."

"Just one." Max, Michael, Isabel, Liz, Maria and Alex say altogether, smiling.

Cade's cellular telephone rings. He digs it out of his interior jacket pocket and hits the send button to answer. "Eddie..."

Michael sheepishly grins and points his finger at Cade's cellular telephone. Eddie suddenly stands beside Cade. With a surprised look on his face, Cade Foster hits the end button and returns his cellular telephone to his interior jacket pocket.

Max, Isabel, Liz, Maria and Alex all look dumb founded with amazement. Michael's face is full of pride and compassion.

"Foster?! Foster, have I gone berserk, again?! I finally did take that Prozac, you know. Is this a GUA trick?!" Eddie is barefooted and wears blue jeans and a black T-Shirt with blue letters that read 'Paranoia is a lonely business.' Eddie looks really nervous.

Cade speaks. "Eddie, everything is fine. This is no GUA trick." These are the brave teenagers I mistook earlier for teeny-bops. Cade points at everyone as he says their names. "That's Max, Liz, Michael, Maria, Isabel and Alex. Everyone...This is Eddie." Eddie waves uncomfortably.

"Wow, Foster, this is unbelievable. I just called to ask you if you could bring me something to eat from McDonald's." Eddie still looks nervous.

"What do you like to drink, Eddie?" Michael asks. Max, Liz, Maria, Alex and Isabel look amazed at Michael's hospitality.

"Ah...Coke...please." Eddie hesitates. Then he shakes his hands like they were just burned. "My hands tingled, Foster! What was that?!"

"Relax, man. I just cleaned your hands. Take a seat, I'll be right back." Michael dashes to the kitchen. He returns with a glass of Coke, a few bowls, a knife, a plate, a couple forks and a couple spoons. "Here you are. Relax. We're not going to eat you. You would not be here if you were not welcome here." Michael looks down the table at Max, nods his head and smiles.

Everyone including Eddie fixes a tossed salad and tall plates of food, along with several desserts. Still holding a grudge from the Lucky Charms incident, Isabel peers vengefully at Michael. She whispers. "Eat...dirt. (Isabel points at Michael's fork full of food just before it enters his mouth.) Michael shuts his mouth and chews. Then he looks a Isabel with a grimace, gets up from his chair and runs to the kitchen. Isabel smiles with delight as everyone hears running water and Michael spitting and rinsing over and over again.

Cade, Eddie, Max, Liz, Maria and Alex laugh, trying not to choke on the food packed in their mouths. Michael returns to the table, apologizes to Isabel for facetiously eating her Lucky Charms. Then he apologizes to everyone for his earlier malcontent behavior. He raises Isabel's right arm as if she has won a boxing match. Then Michael unhands Isabel's right arm, humbly walks back to his seat, sits down and


Part 3 | Index
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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