Fanfic - Crossover Stories
"Oh My God, Max Healed Kenny!"
Part 6
by Chris Baker
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters--I am only borrowing them. Roswell characters are the intellectual property of Melinda Metz and Jason Katims Productions. South Park characters are the intellectual property of Trey Parker and Matt Stone. However, this can be considered a parody; and the Supreme Court has ruled that parodies do not constitute plagiarism.
Summary: Things in Roswell get a little weirder when the boys from South Park pay a visit.
Category: Crossover Stories
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: This story takes place after the last episode of Roswell's first season. I have given Kenny an audible speaking part. This is the only fanfic I have seen which includes Milton, the owner of the UFO center Copyright 2000, 2001 Christopher Baker
After the swim, the gang unloaded their belongings and took them to the cabin. It was basically one large room with a fireplace. There was also a small a room with a toilet and sink.

"We can all sleep here," Kyle Valenti suggested. "There's plenty of room for eight sleeping bags." But he was pretty sure there would only be four.

Liz and Isabel invited Maria and Tess on a "girls only" lunch about fifty yards west of the cabin. They took their food and left their boy friends behind. It had actually been Max's idea because he told them that "Tess could really use some solid female bonding." They sat down and ate.

"Tess, whose idea was it?" Isabel wondered.

"What idea are you talking about?" Tess responded.

"Whose idea was it to go skinny dipping?" Isabel repeated.

"It was mine. I owed it to Kyle. He's a good guy. I just wanted to make up for the time I kind of used him."

"That was the best idea anyone could have had," Liz praised. "I'm glad you did that. I never could have gotten Max to do something like that without some prompting from the rest of you."

"That's my brother, Liz," Isabel reminded.

"It brought out the best in Michael, too," Maria added.

"I was in shock when he did that," Isabel claimed.

"I was even more in shock when you jumped in with Alex."

"Why?"

"Because you seem to have the most shields up, Isabel."

"You can say that again," Liz agreed.

"I know that," Isabel stated. "Alex respects that, and that's what I love about him."

"What did you just say?" Tess smiled.

"I said that's what I love about him," Isabel repeated. "Yes, I said I love Alex. I love Alex."

"Tell him when we go back," Liz suggested.

"I will do that," Isabel promised.

"Tess, what's the deal with you and Kyle?" Liz inquired.

"We got pretty close," Tess answered. "I have to admit that the thought of connecting with someone like that can be pretty frightening. He told me that he thinks I'll be worth the wait."

"He puts up this hard exterior," Liz remembered. "But there is a little boy inside there with many deep feelings. I didn't really understand that until I dumped him."

"He seems to have recovered," Maria commented.

"That's a good way to describe Kyle, Liz," Tess agreed. "He doesn't get to see his mother very much--does he?"

"He doesn't," Liz answered. "I know I never met her when we were going out. He hardly talks about her."

"He really misses her," Tess told.

"So, why do Michael and I have so much trouble connecting like that?" Maria wondered.

"Don't ask me," Isabel stated. "Alex and I haven't connected at all."

"Connecting is a pretty complicated thing," Tess explained. "Liz, I think you and Max know as much anyone."

"I know more than you do," Liz wondered. "How is that possible?"

"I know about my gifts," Tess answered. "But you and Max have the gift of love."

"Wait a minute, sister," Maria got a little tense. "Just a week ago, you were telling Max that you were his destiny. Now you are completely okay with Max and Liz. In fact, you seem to support it as much as they do."

"I knew what people wanted me to be," Tess responded. "But I didn't know what love is. I still think I have some things to learn."

"I'm flattered," Liz admitted. "You have changed very quickly, Tess. I should be happy."

"I know that you all don't trust me as much as you trust each other," Tess declared. "I hope you do trust me that much someday. All I can tell you is why I've changed.

"Liz, when you walked away from Max at the cave, I realized that if I really love someone, I have to let him be himself. I have to set him free. I can't put chains on a man. If I do, I get the opposite of what I want.

"I couldn't set him free because I have no idea what it means to be free. All I have done is live for what I have been told is my 'destiny.' The message told me I am here with Max to help fight for freedom. If we are going to fight for freedom, we have to know what it means to be free, to live as a free individual."

"What do you think about all that, Tess?" Isabel wondered.

"It seems consistent with what I have been told," Tess answered. "But we haven't been told everything."

"What's this about?" Maria inquired.

"Maria, they're hear to fight other people from the planet, evil aliens who have taken power on their planet," Liz answered.

"Michael was right," Maria stated. "There is something more for him besides Roswell."

"There definitely is," Isabel agreed. "But if he wasn't in Roswell, he wouldn't have met you."

"Thank you, Isabel," Maria almost cried.

"I should thank you for what you have done to Michael. I wish I could have. But you must have something I don't have."

"Michael cares about you a lot. Don't underestimate how important you are to him, Isabel."

"Thank you, Maria." Isabel hugged her.

Kyle Valenti, Alex, Max, and Michael went about fifty yards east of the cabin.

"So, Kyle, how did you get Tess to do it?" Alex wondered.

"It was her idea," Kyle answered. "She said she felt like she owed me something. Why do you ask?"

"I certainly didn't think I could get Isabel to go for something like that," Alex commented.

"You're talking about my sister," Max reminded.

"Alex, any man who gets Isabel to show any warmth at all is an expert on women," Kyle complimented. "Most guys who have went out with her didn't have any fun with her. They call her the 'ice queen.' She's definitely not that with you."

"Of course not," Alex answered. "It's all a shield. I think you can understand why."

"We all have shields," Michael agreed.

"I certainly understand why," Kyle sympathized. "I don't think you could have trusted me with the secret six months ago. But it did end my animosity to you and Liz, Max."

"Misunderstanding has always been the real enemy," Max said. "If we didn't have that, we would get along just fine. I'm a healer, not a killer."

"I know that," Kyle stated. "Dad knows that, too. All he ever wanted was to know the truth."

"What did he plan on doing with it?" Michael wondered.

"Do with what?" Kyle responded.

"What was he going to do with the truth? Why was getting it so important?"

"I don't know."

"Kyle, I'm just wondering what did these guys say about Isabel?" Alex tried to change the subject. "I won't get mad."

"They just said that she was kind of cold and distant," Kyle recalled. "They thought she was attractive certainly. Some thought she was really preppy. It was all a front, I guess."

"It definitely is," Alex agreed. "It's not easy to see beyond it sometimes."

"I have fronts, too. I think getting shot makes you think about these kind of things, the things that really matter. I certainly don't have as many fronts now. Life is too precious to spend your time behind walls.

"I remember when I first talked to Tess. I just wanted to jump her bones. Now, she seems like a lot more than just some warm body. We really had a connection there. It's a lot better than sex."

"You and Tess connected?" Michael wondered. "I wonder why Maria and I can't seem to."

"I think it's a pretty complicated thing here," Max hypothesized. "Liz and I have actually been able to call visions. Have you done that?"

"We've only kissed once," Kyle answered. "I don't think we're quite on the level of you and Liz yet. You two are in love."

"There's a possibility that you may have been altered by my healing you," Max suggested. "I healed you and Liz. Perhaps, there is a little bit of me in both of you."

"That's as good a theory as any, Max," Alex agreed. "I know that Isabel and I really haven't connected either."

"It was kind of frightening at first," Kyle admitted. "But I was happy that it happened. She seems to have a good heart."

"How do you know that this wasn't something she put in your head?" Michael wondered.

"I don't know that," Kyle answered. "If she did do that, I know that she's not somebody I want anyway. She told me about what she's done."

"She seems to be having a good time," Max commented. "I'm glad she is. It's going to do her a lot of good."

"I taught her how to swim. She's never really been a kid--has she?" Kyle wondered.

"I doubt it."

"She said that she learned to play the guitar last night. Can you do that?"

"I certainly couldn't have done that," Alex explained. "I suppose she has some power that lets her do that. I wonder what else she's learned to do."

"We'll find out soon enough," Max predicted.

Kenny, Kyle Broflovski, Stan, Jimbo, and Ned continued to watch. Cartman ate five bags of Chessy Poofs and used Jimbo's cell phone to order a pizza.

"How do you expect them to deliver it all the way out here?" Stan wondered after Cartman got off the phone.

"They have the number," Cartman answered. "I also told them your Uncle Jimbo would tip them fifty dollars when they brought it."

"What?" Jimbo wondered rather loudly.

"Shhhh," Kyle whispered, "we can't be too loud. They might hear us."

"If you didn't want this to happen, you shouldn't have brought me out here on your wild goose chase," Cartman claimed. "If you want me to be here and to be quiet, you've got to give me something in return. I brought my harmonica."

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny looked on with worry in their eyes.

"I just learned this song before we came here," Cartman stated. He played a few bars on his harmonica and sang the lyrics to Dido's "Here with Me:"

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

Oh, I am what I am
I do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me

And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been

Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go
I won't sleep
And I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me

And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were holding their hands to their ears.

"For god sakes, I don't know what's worse," Stan claimed. "Is it the song? Or is it Cartman singing it? Where did you hear that? Did they actually play that on the radio?"

"It's both," Jimbo commented. "I'll pay for the pizza."

"Well, that's good for now," Cartman responded.

"Why are we doing this anyway?" Stan inquired. "They may be aliens, but they just seem like most people to me. How do we know that they've hurt anyone?"

When the pizza came, Jimbo paid for it. Cartman ate everything.

Kyle Valenti, Tess, Liz, Max, Isabel, Alex, Michael, and Maria spent that afternoon and some of the evening hiking in the woods. When they got back from their hike, Jim Valenti was there with four pizzas. It was a surprise which none of them were expecting, not even Kyle. But even more than Kyle, he wanted to pay a debt to the people he had once pursued so ruthlessly.

They sat in the cabin together and decided to sing some sings. Alex and Tess played guitars. "She's better than I am," Alex admitted. Alex had plenty of copies of his songbook. Each couple shared one.

By 9:30, everyone seemed pretty tired and decided it was time to go to sleep. The boys all spread out their bags, and the young ladies were happy to join them in their nests. Everyone fell asleep pretty quickly.

At about 11:30, Tess woke up suddenly. Kyle was holding her and felt her movement. He opened his eyes.

"What's wrong, sweet cheeks?" he asked.

"I can sense an evil presence," she claimed. "It's not here in this building with us. But it's very close to us."

Part 5 | Index | Part 7
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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