Fanfic - Crossover Stories
"Oh My God, Max Healed Kenny!"
Part 4
by Chris Baker
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters--I am only borrowing them. Roswell characters are the intellectual property of Melinda Metz and Jason Katims Productions. South Park characters are the intellectual property of Trey Parker and Matt Stone. However, this can be considered a parody; and the Supreme Court has ruled that parodies do not constitute plagiarism.
Summary: Things in Roswell get a little weirder when the boys from South Park pay a visit.
Category: Crossover Stories
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: This story takes place after the last episode of Roswell's first season. I have given Kenny an audible speaking part. This is the only fanfic I have seen which includes Milton, the owner of the UFO center Copyright 2000, 2001 Christopher Baker
I'm going down to Roswell,
Gonna have myself a time--
Flying saucers crashing down,
Little green men everywhere.
I'm going down to Roswell,
Gonna leave my woes behind--
Alien hunters with no lives,
People shouting: "Howdy, visitor."
I'm heading on up to Roswell,
Gonna see if I can't unwind
I like aliens with big antennas
I like aliens in gray space suits.
So come on down to Roswell,
And meet some friends of mine.

Max met Liz at the Crashdown at 8:00 that evening. They were going to dinner and possibly a movie. Liz had other things on her mind. They greeted each other with their usual passionate kiss. Then Max could see what was on her mind. They remained wrapped around each other after it was over.

"Do you know what I've been thinking about?" Liz wondered.

"I think I do," Max answered. "Maria is right."

"I know she is, but I have not followed what might seem logical yet," Liz declared. "If I had followed logic, would we have this?"

"No. And the only time I did something that didn't seem logical was when I saved you. That was the greatest thing I ever did."

"I'm going to have to be the aggressor all the time--aren't I?"

"It may not always be that way."

"I really want for us to make love this weekend. I have never wanted this before."

"This is totally uncharted territory for us," Max worried. "We don't know what might happen."

"The Earth will move. The stars will shine brighter. The planets will revolve around the sun faster. The cells inside my body will explode."

"You have no idea how flattered I am."

"I just want to give you this."

"I want you to do this for you, not for me."

"I am doing it for me," Liz answered.

"Are you?"

"I want you to know how special you are."

"You tell me that every day. We don't need this to feel special."

"But we might feel more special if we do this."

"What are you afraid will happen if we don't do this, Liz?" Max asked.

"I'm not afraid of anything happening."

"Aren't you afraid of what might happen if we do?"

"It's impossible for me to be afraid of anything when I'm with you, Max. There is no fear. There is no death. There is no pain. There is no darkness. There is no destruction."

"I'll be ready to make love when I can feel that way, too. I'm still amazed that I am as happy as I am right now. Your courage is amazing."

"So is yours," Liz praised.

"I love you, Liz."

"I love you, Max."

"What visions did you get, Liz?"

"I see that you are feeling as happy as you ever have."

"I most certainly am," Max confirmed. "I was surprised you didn't see anything about my meeting with those kids at the museum today."

"What happened?"

"Well, these four boys were in the place. They were asking me about aliens and sex. It kind of bothered me."

"What bothered you?"

"I think they knew more about sex than I know."

"They probably watch a lot more television than you do," Liz suggested.

"They asked me if I have a girl friend. They asked about what happens when aliens kiss. They seemed more interested in me than in aliens."

"How many boys were there?"


"How old were they?"

"They looked like they were about eight," Max recalled. "Why are you asking?"

"There were four boys in the Crashdown yesterday. I think they all had big crushes on me."

"Are you thinking that they were the same boys?"


"Okay. What can they do? They were just little boys."

"I'm surprised you're asking me that question," Liz stated. "Do they sound trustworthy?"

"I don't know."

"Can we call up a particular vision? If I can see what your four boys looked like and you can see what my four boys looked like, we will know if they were the same."

"I suppose.... But they were little kids."

"This is a first."

"What is?" Max wondered.

"I'm the one who doesn't trust someone, and you're the one who does."

"You're right. Let's see what we can find out."

Max placed his hands on Liz's cheeks and just looked into her soulful brown eyes. Liz placed her hands on Max's cheeks and stared into his eyes as well. Liz smiled, just enjoying the closeness between them. They were closer after each connection. Their visions appeared almost instantly.

"They're the same," said Max, not removing his hands.

"Definitely," Liz agreed.

"What now?" Max wondered.

"Why don't we just stand here like this all night?"

"I love you."

"I love you. Let's get something to eat."

Max and Liz left the Crashdown.

At 8:00 the next morning, Kyle Valenti, Tess, Max, Liz, Maria, Michael, Alex, and Isabel met at the Crashdown and ordered breakfast. They were finished by 8:30 and were ready to leave for the lake.

"Smith Lake, here we come!" Alex shouted as he sat down in the Evans jeep.

Isabel sat down beside him, and he kissed her on the cheek.

"What was that for?" she wondered.

"For just being you," he answered.

"I can't wait to get to the lake, too. I know something special is going to happen this weekend."

Jimbo, Ned, Kyle Broflovski, Stan, Kenny, and Cartman were starting across the street when they saw the gang departing from the cafe. They had heard Alex's proclamation and entered the Crashdown. They also saw the camping equipment in the jeep. As they sat down, they saw Max and Liz come from the kitchen, bringing the last of Liz's belongings, a rolled-up sleeping bag large enough for two.

"Those boys are eating here again," Liz noticed as they left.

"Don't worry," Max advised. "We are going to have the time of our lives this weekend."

Max and Liz got into the jeep. Michael and Maria went to the Jetta. Tess and Kyle Valenti went to his Mustang. The boys watched them leave together.

Kyle opened the door for Tess. "Allow me," he said.

"Thank you," she smiled. "Now I know one of the things Liz saw in you. You're chivalrous."

Kyle closed the door and got in on his side and started his Mustang. He smiled because of the flirtatious tone the conversation was already taking on.

"What has she been telling you?" wondered Kyle, a little defensive.

"She didn't tell me anything actually," she answered. "Max just told me that you and Liz were going out before she was shot."

"Is that all he said?" Kyle was surprised but happy that Tess hadn't heard some of the negatives.

"He did say that you and he didn't have much in common, but I doubt that. Why else would she fall for both of you?"

"I don't think we have much in common either. Plus, she didn't fall for me at all the way she has fallen for Max. I think she and Max are definitely soul mates."

"There must be something that Liz saw in both of you."


"What have they said about me?" Tess wondered.

"They just said that you are, well, you know what I mean."

"Max likes to say 'not of this earth.'"

"That's a good thing to call it. It doesn't seem as threatening."

"Is that all they have told you?" Tess was also happy that he hadn't heard any negatives.

"Yes, that's all."

"So, what do you do for fun?"

"I like to play football and basketball. I also shoot and won a rifle competition. I was on a swim team about five years ago. I was really good, but there were other things I wanted to do."

"I haven't played any sports. I did learn to play an instrument last night, however."

"What instrument?" Kyle wondered.

"The guitar. I brought it with me. Didn't you see it when I loaded my stuff?"

"I forgot. I am sorry."

"That's okay."

"Did you say that you learned to play it last night?"

"Yes," Tess answered.

"So, you learned to play it in one night?"

"I have many skills, Kyle. I am a hyper-learner. I learn everything extremely quickly. I also remember everything. I can recite everything I have read."

"I am impressed."

"You're pretty impressive, too."

"Thank you," Kyle answered softly, a little curious why she was so impressed even though they didn't know much about each other. "Do you have any other special powers?"

"I can make people think they see things and hear things. I can plant dreams in people's heads. I'm not that proud of it right now."

"Why not? That would be a neat power to have."

"I tried to use that power on Max. I tried to make him feel about me the way he feels about Liz. All it did was make all of Max's friends hate me."

"I would probably feel the same way. Why did you do that?"

"We were engineered to be a couple," Tess explained. "Our essences lived before on our home planet. We had been a couple there. We were given human form and live here now."

"If you and Max were engineered to be a couple, why didn't those who engineered you put you together and keep you together?"

"That's a good question. I had been told my whole life that Max was my destiny. He didn't know anything about me until I came to Roswell." "How do you really feel about Max?"

"I'm not all that sure. I'm not sure if I know what it means to have feelings. Max, Isabel, and Michael seem so much more alive than I am. It is obvious that Max is extremely happy with Liz."

"Max and Liz are happy. It sounds like you envy them," Kyle commented.

"I do. I have never had any friends and certainly haven't been in love. I certainly haven't had anything that resembles a family."

"You're not going to have any trouble finding love if you really want to find it. You're very attractive."

"Thank you. So are you."

"So, why haven't you had any friends or been in love."

"I've never really let anyone in," Tess explained with regret. "I've been in a shell as much as Max, Isabel, and Michael have been. I've also moved around a lot. I am happy to be in Roswell with everyone. I feel like I'm home, with people who are the closest thing to a family I will ever have. Thank you for inviting me."

"I wanted to invite you."

"I have not been very nice to you, but I would really like another chance with you."

"Maybe that's why I invited you along."

Kyle had his left hand on the steering wheel. He put his right hand on the edge of the passenger seat. Tess took it.

"I will make it up to you," she promised.

While the gang drove to the lake, Jimbo, Ned, and the boys were discussing their plans for the day.

"Uncle Jimbo, did you hear that?" Stan asked. "They're going camping on Smith Lake. We should go there and watch them."

"Calm down, Stan," Jimbo advised. "We can go there. We need to find out where it is, and we can go. We have plenty of camping equipment for this."

"This is so lame," Cartman stated. "Let's just get some food here."

"We'll need to take the binoculars, too. We can't let them know that we are watching them," Stan reminded.

"I've got my guns," Jimbo added.

"Did you bring the camcorder?" Kyle wondered.

"Of course, I did," Jimbo insisted. "There would be no point if I didn't."

"Is it fully charged up?" Stan wondered.

"I plugged it in when we got to the hotel and left it plugged in until this morning. It's in the trunk now," Jimbo explained.

"Is this going to be anything like some of those Pamela Anderson videos?" Kenny inquired.

"It will be better," Stan hoped.

After the South Park guys finished their breakfast, they went to fill up the truck with gas. Jimbo got directions to the lake from the attendant.

At about 9:00, two other visitors from South Park entered the Crashdown.

"I thought they would be here for sure," one said.

"I can smell them," the other commented. "It won't be long before I can pinpoint their whereabouts."

Part 3 | Index | Part 5
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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