December 3, 1999
by Sarah Kuhn

This week on Star Trek: The Next Generation: the crew is infected with a strange virus that causes them to act uninhibited and lustful around one another. Watch as Tasha Yar seduces Data, Troi attempts to rekindle things with Riker, and Crusher...oh, wait a second! It's just those wacky Roswell kids. Oooooops!

Anyway, Roswell's experiencing a freakish December heat wave! This means that:
1. Everyone will sweat a whole bunch.
2. Liz Parker will wear lots of fetching, strappy tank tops.
3. The teens will all be split into idyllic couplings, making for later complications.

As soon as I saw the promos for this episode, I knew it had to be called "Heat Wave." As you might have already ascertained, this is the Gettin' It On episode. There are various degrees of Gettin' It On, but, basically, every time the writers didn't feel like writing another scene, they just stuck in an interlude of Michael and Maria making out.

Speaking of Michael and Maria, their big thing this episode is that Maria is starting to wonder if their relationship should be based on more, while Michael is chastised by Max for his lack of control (and, boys, I really could have done without that urinal scene. Really). Seems that this dastardly duo is going to have to move beyond the Eraser Room.

Couple #2, meanwhile, is yet another crazy, wacky pairing. Liz is worried about Lil' Old Alex being a snitch, you see (because he now knows...well, something, though they refuse to tell him about the whole alien deal), so Isabel visits him in his dream. And what does she see? Why, Alex having a dream about her, of course...it's evening and they're dancing, just like Fred and Ginger, only with some alterna-rock WB soundtrack band wailing in the background. Aww. See, Alex knows that the real Isabel is hidden somewhere underneath all her Attitude Queen posturing. He's intuitive that way, I guess, just like all TV geeks.

And then there's Liz and Max. They finally kiss. It was nice and everything, but I really wish more had been more at stake. You know, like, "Aaaaah, the bad people know I'm an alien and they're coming for me tomorrow! Tonight is our last night together!!" Instead, it just felt like, "OK, alright, jeez. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't we?"

Everything culminates, by the way, at a giant rave/party, where Maria is dressed like an extra from Xanadu. People, there is no feathered hair allowed on the WB! Bad crimping, yes. But not this.

Oh, and the Sheriff is romancing the Loveline Lady, which is just dumb. Everyone who cares about the Sheriff's love life, raise your hands. That's what I thought.

Overall, though, at least stuff happened in this episode, and it was pretty good stuff at that. I'm hoping that things are going to move along now at a steady clip, and that Maria will kick sullen Michael to the curb. Or at least make him cut his hair.