Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of the characters of Roswell, the honor is held by Jason
Katims, Melinda Metz, the WB and anyone else who has their hands on a copyright. And as I
always, I profit nada for the following story.
Summary: 2-3 weeks post “destiny” – everything that has happened up to then happened – everything afterward does not. Michael and Isabel disclose their true feelings for each other.
Category: Unconventional Couples
Authors Note: this is the 1st installment in the “Take My Hand” series. It is followed by “Dreams Shattered”
|Michael wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, here he was with beautiful, precious Isabel
and she is concerned about Maria. He took a deep breath and then tried to answer her.
“I honestly don’t know Iz. I have thought about it a lot these past weeks and I still haven’t been able to answer it for myself. Maria was the one that broke down my walls. The walls I put up to keep me unattached so that I could leave Roswell behind without regret. I cared about her. I care about her still. I know that she loves me, why I will never know, but she does. She also hates me right now as well. The best I could come up with after all the time I spent analyzing it is that I do care about her. But I don’t think that it was or is love. Whatever it is, it’s not like what I feel for you. With Maria everything was a struggle. She tried to make me into what her idea of a boyfriend was, and I tried occasionally to appease her but always to no avail. Her quirkiness makes her seem selfish sometimes but despite it she is a kind and sweet person and I honestly never meant to hurt her, but she doesn’t know me. Not like you do Isabel. I can’t figure her out and I don’t think that I ever will. But I know you Isabel. I’ve known you my entire life and it seems before that and you know me. And I think that what I feel for you is love. I’ve always loved you Iz, it’s only recently that I’ve realized just how much and how real it is. Not like I always felt for you and Max together and not like I tried to make myself believe I loved you, but real love. I don’t have to pretend with you. I don’t have to live up to some ideal notion of what a boyfriend should be, and I don’t have to just be your boyfriend. So I’m sorry that I can’t really give you an answer regarding Maria. And before you say anything, I know exactly what you and Alex had and I’m not worried about it. I could tell. When I saw you two together I could see it in your face. He adored you, but you didn’t let him in did you? Now both he and Maria are hurting and we did that to them.” Michael stopped abruptly. He was worried that he had said too much, but it didn’t matter. It had to be said. He had to get it out in the open and stop it from continually gnawing at his insides, making him crazy. Isabel was quiet and he looked down at her, still laying against his chest. She was playing with the collar of his shirt. It looked like she was intensely concentrating on a string that had begun to unravel. Michael couldn’t stand the silence. It was beginning to unnerve him. The irony of that fact didn’t escape him. That he, Michael Guerin, the king of retreating into silence for protection couldn’t stand it now. He felt emotionally naked and incredibly drained. Both were new sensations for him and he wasn’t quite comfortable with either. He had to fight the urge to change the subject, to talk about the weather, anything just to stop the silence and the waiting. Just when he thought he could take it no longer Isabel spoke.
“I couldn’t let him in. I tried, I really did. Alex is a great friend but I couldn’t let go. I was afraid he wouldn’t understand.”
Michael smiled. He did understand. He’d been there. It seemed that Max and Liz were the only ones that were able to completely let go and let each other in. Michael understood what Max was going through and why he would never let go of Liz for Tess. Michael knew because that’s how he felt about Isabel.
It was quiet again. He looked down at Isabel and she was sound asleep. He smiled again. He was glad that he had chanced it and brought her here. He was afraid that he would chicken out and not be able to say to her everything that he had been practicing over and over in his head. He had almost backed out while he was waiting for her in the front yard, but when she touched his arm and he had opened his eyes and saw her standing there waiting for him, he knew that he couldn’t go back. He couldn’t go back to being just Michael, her other brother. He had to try. He just couldn’t believe that she brought it up. He had been sitting there silently asking for strength to do this and she brought it up. He yawned. He was finally tiring. He didn’t have a watch but could see that the edge of the horizon was starting to be tinted with pink. He thought that they should head back but he was too tired to move and was not willing to give up this moment; Isabel asleep in his arms here at the only place he had that was really his. His eyelids were soon too heavy to resist and he was asleep, along with Isabel, while the sun slowly made its way up the horizon. The first rays shining on the sleeping kids cradled in the roots of the old tree.
Max was awakened by the sound of someone calling his name from far away and the sensation of someone shaking him. His first thought was ‘Liz’ but it was quickly dispelled as he approached consciousness and remembered where she was. When he finally opened his eyes it was the face of his mother, Diane Evans, he saw staring down at him. She looked disheveled. No, she looked frantic. Her hair was a mess, her bathrobe was twisted around and her lips were moving rapidly. It took Max a few seconds to emerge from the last remnants of sleep enough to comprehend what she was saying.
“Max!! Wake up!! Izzie’s gone, the jeep’s gone, she’s missing! Max!!!”
“What?!?” The full meaning of her words had registered and Max sat straight up in bed nearly knocking his mom over. “Wait, what do you mean Isabel’s gone?”
“I got up this morning earlier than normal. I just couldn’t sleep. I went outside to get the paper on my way to the kitchen and that’s when I noticed that the jeep wasn’t in the driveway. At first I thought that it had been stolen. I went upstairs and woke your dad who went outside to see what had happened to the jeep. It didn’t help that when he came back inside he said that there was no evidence of someone breaking into the vehicle but the top could have been left down. We went into the kitchen to call the police and that is when your dad noticed that the jeep keys were missing from the bowl by the phone where they always are. So we ran upstairs to check on you guys and you’re here and Izzie is not and her bed is made and doesn’t look like it has been slept in. Where could she be Max? I know you two have not been on the best terms lately but please if you know where she is you have to tell us!”
While his mother was frantically prodding him for answers Max was busy working out various scenarios in his head as to where Isabel could possibly be. He hadn’t gotten very far when his mother interrupted his thoughts. He looked up at her and answered, “I’m sure that she’s fine Mom. You know Isabel, there’s bound to be an explanation.”
At this point his dad spoke up and Max wondered why he hadn’t noticed him there in the doorway earlier. “Are you sure you two didn’t have a fight? You guys have been so distant lately.”
Max struggled to come up with something to assuage his parents worries long enough for him to figure out what to do to find Isabel. His parents were staring at him expectantly, so he quickly answered, “Yes dad. I’m sure. I heard her mention something the other day about cooking breakfast for everyone this morning. She’s probably out getting everything early hoping to have it all ready and waiting when you guys got up. You know how she is, everything has to be just right and I’m sure that she didn’t expect Mom to be up at 630 am on a Saturday. Why don’t you guys go downstairs and start the coffee and we’ll wait for her to get home and all cook together since she has gone to so much trouble to get everything ready.”
As his parents left the room, Max hoped that his lie would hold them long enough for him to figure out what to do. He knew that he needed to reach Iz, but had no idea where she could be. It wasn’t like her to just disappear without telling anyone. At first he was afraid that someone had discovered who she was and gotten to her. Someone or something. He shuddered as he recalled the warning they had received: their enemies were on this planet. But when his mom had mentioned the keys being missing he had stopped worrying as much. While it was possible that she had been taken along with the jeep, there was apparently no sign of struggle in her room and he relaxed as he remembered that she would have tried to contact him by now if she were in trouble. She would have tried to dream walk him like she had done when Pierce had him in the white room. Dream-walking. That was it! Max climbed out of bed and threw on a t-shirt and some sweats and went into the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He had been trying to figure out where to start looking but he knew that there wasn’t anyone she would go to if she was upset. She had always come to him or Michael but now…well things were different at the moment. He sighed as he remembered just how strained things had become between them. ‘She wouldn’t have come to me,’ he thought, ‘she hasn’t even checked on me in my dreams in a while, and I turned to Maria for help. Maybe Michael.’ Max glanced at his reflection in the mirror and silently hoped she was at Michael’s before returning to his room and grabbing the phone. He dialed Michael’s apartment and let the phone ring at least 25 times before giving up. ‘I should have known’ he thought ‘No one has seen Michael in weeks.’ He walked over to his bookcase and picked up the picture of he and Isabel sunburned and drenched to the bone after a water balloon fight summer before last at Dad’s annual firm picnic. Dream-walking. He took a deep breath as he realized it was his only option. He’d only tried it once and Isabel had been with him, helping him focus and even then it was all foggy and he had given up quickly assuming that it was just her gift like healing was for him.
Max walked over to his bed and sat down holding the picture on his lap. He glanced at the clock – 6:53 AM – he was glad that his parents had not woken up before six or the breakfast story would have been even less plausible. At least this early there was a good chance that Iz was still sleeping, she normally never emerged from her bed until 11am on Saturdays, and Max hoped that despite her unknown whereabouts she was at least asleep. He took a deep breath and then laid down concentrating on Isabel’s picture. He blanked out his mind and tried to establish a connection with his sister. He tried to pretend she was there with him and he could look into her eyes and form a connection with her like he did that night at the Crashdown with Liz when he reversed the connection and showed her his soul - Liz – Max fought hard to push Liz out of his mind and concentrate on Isabel. He stared at her eyes in the photo so long he could swear they were following him and then… Suddenly, there was a flash of white and series of images rushing past him too fast for him to recognize. They seemed familiar but he couldn’t place them. Max willed himself to concentrate and try and bring things into focus. He could feel himself descending at a rapid pace but he couldn’t see anything but a figure looming in the distance which he was quickly approaching. The nearer he got the clearer the image became until he realized that it was not a figure at all but a tree. An enormous tree. It was beautiful. He could see that it was in the desert but could find nothing else around to provide him with a clue as to his actual location, if it existed outside of a dream at all. Max lost himself for a moment just taking in the splendor of the great tree but something in the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned towards it. ‘The jeep!’ he thought. But where is Isabel? And where was he at? They had been almost everywhere in the desert surrounding Roswell and he knew that he had never seen this place. Was he hallucinating or was it all in Isabel’s mind? As he thought he absent-mindedly wandered around the tree and that’s when he noticed it. Leaning against the far side of the tree. At first it appeared to be a pile of clothing and he had to concentrate to bring it into focus. It was then that he noticed the blonde hair. ‘Isabel!’ – and sure enough he could just make out her face. She was sleeping and he noticed that she was not alone. There was a set of arms wrapped around her. Max looked above Isabel’s sleeping face and saw him. “Michael.” He stated this latest discovery out loud, and the sound of his voice in Isabel’s mind startled him. Isabel. Max remembered why he was there.
“ISABEL!!” he summoned all the strength he had and screamed her name as loud as he could. “ISABEL!!”- over and over. She began to stir but would not wake. Max could feel himself slipping out of the dream. He was losing his focus and could not hold on. “ISABEL!!” He managed to get out one last time before waking up in his room. He was gasping for breath and couldn’t believe how much effort it took to enter someone’s dreams. He briefly wondered if it was this taxing for Isabel and if so, why she even bothered, and then he remembered that she had made the effort just to check on him since that day and he briefly smiled to himself.
|Part 1 | Index | Part 3
|Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours