Every shipper in Fan-ville liked Roswell a lot,
But the GRINCH, who lived just north of Fan-ville, did NOT.
"Look at them there, their Maxes and Lizes,
Even their Kyles, paired up with the Tesses.
Oh, for over a year I've put up with this now...
I must stop the ships from commencing...but HOW?"
Then the Grinch got an idea.
The Grinch got a horrible, TERRIBLE idea.
So he took a fake Max and a nasty blonde tart
And an old archaeologist who wasn't all that smart.
"With these I will tease and torment those stupid fans."
And he decended to Roswell to complete his plans.
He snuck to the rooftop of the Crashdown Café.
But he was too unfit to get up the ladder all the way.
He was stuck for only a minute or two,
Then he continued, ready to make poor Liz blue.
He put the fake Max and made him tell lies,
Things that made Liz, poor, poor Liz, he made her cry.
"But, Maxie, love, why? Why must we break up? Why?"
And you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
That he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.
"You see my dear," the fake Maxie-poo lied,
"There's this granilith thing, that won't light on one side,
And we'll need Tessie to fix it you see,
And though she loves Kyle, she needs to be with me."
And the fib fooled poor Liz, and he sent her to bed,
With Kyle to trick only Max, but it also tricked Tess instead.
Once both Tess and Max were successfully fooled,
The unhappy emotions could finally be pooled.
When he was done all he left of the ship was some memories and fanfics.
And the one scrap of hope that was left in the ship
Was a glance, that was even to quick to be clipped.
He used Courtney to steal Michael and Grant to steal Iz,
Leaving our poor relationships without even a fizz.
And he did the same thing to the other fans' ships,
Leaving glances much to small for Fanfourum's clips.
With a smile in his heart he ascended Mt. Crumpit,
With the last of the shippers hope, he was ready to dump it.
Then he saw something glowing from Roswell,
Something he didn't think was possible.
There was Kyle with Tess and Maxie with Liz,
Michael with Maria, and Alex and Iz.
The Grinch didn't stop the relationships---They happened.
Some way or another, they just plain happened.
And the Grinch, with his feet inch-deep in the sand
The stupid old Grinch just couldn't understand.
"I fooled them into lying, I stole all their hope!
I made Isabel a traitor and Michael a dope!"
Then the Grinch thought of something would have sooner if he was smart:
Maybe the relationships aren't something to take apart.
Maybe the realtionships come from the heart.
And what happened then? Well, in Roswell they say:
That the Grinch's sappiness grew four sizes that day.