FanFic - Other
"You Can Still Be Free"
"Farewell Peace of Mind"
Part 7
by Mellissa
Disclaimer: Roswell, the characters, and situations are owned by the WB. No infringement intended.
Summary: Noelle POV
Category: Other
Rating: PG-13
It's Sunday afternoon, and I'm sitting all alone in my room. Well, I suppose I'm not really all alone. After all, there is this life growing in me.

On Friday, after our appointment with his uncle, I could see Evan accepted the reality of our situation. I'm so scared, but at the same time, I'm somewhat hopeful.

All my life, I've been back and forth between different foster homes. My biological parents died when I was three. I don't really remember them, anyway. I've never had a permanent home with parents that loved me. When I was twelve, the couple I was with at the time really hated me. The woman always told me I was worthless scum that could never be anything more.

I'm with a better family now. They're talking about adopting me and all that. That's not going to happen. Not when they discover I am nothing more than worthless scum.

But, this baby...I could make sure no one ever treats it like I was. I know it sounds hopelessly fruity and all, but it's what I'm thinking.

For some reason, I'm already thinking of names. I guess it's something pregnant women do. Esperanza is such a pretty name. It means hope. But it wouldn't go well with Bradley, would it?

There's a knock at the door. I look out the window of my first floor bedroom. It's Evan.

I leave my room, and go straight down the hall to the front. Unlocking the chain, I pull it open.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey." We're silent for a few minutes. "Can I come in?" he asks. I move away from the door, and let him in.

"So, what's up?" I ask.

"I need to tell you something," he answers. I nod, and lead the way to my bedroom. Not with anything ulterior in mind, but it's safest place to discuss this. In case my foster parents come home early.

"So, what's up?" I ask, after settling once again on the bed. He's pacing the room.

"Noelle, I need to tell you something, but I don't know to say it exactly," he says. My mind is running millions of miles a second. He doesn't want anything to do with this baby. That's the only logical idea my brain can squeeze out.

"The beginning is always good," I choke out. He chuckles nervously.

"If you say so. All right, you've heard of the 1947 crash right?" he asks, sitting next to me.

"Yeah, of course," I reply mystified. Maybe it was something other than I thought.

"My dad was in it. So was my aunt and uncle," he says. He looks away then.

"What, like in the weather balloon or something?" I ask confused.

"No, it wasn't a weather balloon. It was a UFO."

"Evan, this isn't funny. What's really going on?" I ask, standing up and moving away from him. Evan was trying to tell me that he was half-alien. Or maybe his mom was one of them, too. Either way, he was trying to convince me he was an extraterrestrial. That's nuts. There are no such things as alien. Besides, he looks nothing like E.T.

"Noelle, I swear I'm telling the truth," he replies.

"Evan, what's wrong? I mean, are you feeling all right?" I ask, suddenly worried. He acts like he really believes what he says.

"No, listen," he says. He grabs my hand, and suddenly, I'm seeing images. Images with Evan. Growing up. Having powers. His family. His parents fighting and-

I yank my hand away. "What the fuck was that?" I cry.

"I'm sorry, but I had to convince you," he says.

"No, this is not happening," I mumble to myself.

"Noelle, please. You have to believe me."

"Why? Why are you telling me this..." Suddenly it hits me. I'm carrying his child. It's part alien. Oh, Jesus.

"Noelle, there's something my uncle Max told me about the baby," he says, grabbing my hand again.

"What?" I'm almost afraid to ask.

He lowers his head. "Noelle, you won't carry it to term."

"What?!" I shriek.

"There's an abnormality ... it happened in one of my mother's pregnancies. She miscarried the baby, and my uncle says the same thing is going to happen to you."

"Are you trying to tell me that my baby is going to die?" I'm crying all ready. There's this ache inside that wasn't there a few minutes ago.

Evan lifts his head, and his eyes are shining with tears. He's almost crying, too. What the Hell does he got to cry about?

"Noelle, my uncle says if the miscarriage happens naturally, you'll get really sick and there's a chance you might not have kids." He whispers this last part.

I'm livid. I think I'm losing my mind, to tell you the truth. One minute I'm sobbing, and the next I'm attacking him.

"This is all your fault!" I scream, pounding him with my fists. He's trying to calm me down, but it's unsuccessful. I'm over the edge. The only thing registering in my brain is that my baby is going to die because he's half-alien.

"Noelle, please calm down!" he yells. My fist makes contact with his left eye. "Shit," he swears. He continues to struggle and finally pins my arms behind my back.

"Let me up!" I rage.

"Not until you calm down!" he yells. I continue to struggle. By this time, we're both on my bed. I'm on my back, and he's over me, holding my arms back. This is how I got into this position if I remember correctly.

"Evan, let me up," I say, more calmly.

"You promise not to hit me?" he asks. His eye is already swelling up.

"Yeah, just let me up all ready." He moves away from me, and pulls me up into a sitting position. My hair is sticking in all directions and my clothes are all wrinkled.

In addition his rapidly darkening left eye, he's got scrapes and cuts all over his face. Instantly, I'm contrite.

With one wave of his hand, the swelling is gone and so are the rest of his injuries. My eyes widen.

He grins. "One of the good things about being an alien," he says.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," I mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," he replies. He waves his hand over my clothes and hair, and my appearance returns to its former neatness.

"Isn't there anything your uncle can do?" I ask softly.

"Yeah. He can use his powers to get r--" Evan stops. "Well, he can't prevent the miscarriage, but he can help so that it doesn't damage you."

"When?" I ask softly.

"When ever's good for you. Noelle, I'm sorry. I never wanted to bring you in this," he apologizes.

"It's as much my fault as it is yours. We both got trashed that night," I return. He brings his hand to my face, and cups my cheek.

"You scratched yourself," he observes, amused. I blush. He rubs his finger over the scratch and it's gone. He doesn't take his hand away though.

Before I know it, he's kissing me. I can't help but deepen it. It feels so good. His tongue runs over mine, sending shivers down my spine.

Before I get into too deep, my rationality returns and I pull away.

"No," I tell him. "This is what got me in this situation to begin with."

"You're right. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself," he apologizes. I think we both know what would have happened if I hadn't pulled away when I did. I almost lost myself for a second.

"Tell your uncle I'll come in tomorrow, if that's okay," I tell him.

"All right. I gotta go. Um, see ya later, Noelle."

Once he's gone, and I'm left alone with my thoughts, I reflect about another ten minutes that screwed up my entire life. The first time got me into this mess, and this time, it just sunk me further.

I just remembered I forgot to tell him he could trust me. That I wouldn't tell anyone his secret.

Because when he connected us, I saw his fear. His entire family's fear of being discovered.

I also remember we never broke the connection. I only pulled away from it.

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