FanFic - Other
"The Real World . Roswell Style"
Part 28
by RBS722
Disclaimer: This is a purely fun parody of the show the Real world. I do not refer to any real world cast members in anyway, and I do not mean to offend any real world fans. Also, I love all the Roswell characters. The dialogue I made is for entertainment and for laughs only. I am not in anyway bashing any character. There are also many sexual innuendos and undertones, so if you do not want to read any of that nature, I suggest you leave the thread. Teddybehr ****** Due to the popularity of the story I felt everyone should have a chance to read it. I in no way wrote this story I just compiled this all together straight from the Roswell 1 FanForem board and ran a quick spell check, I gave credit to everyone who participated and I'm submitting this with permission from the original author teddybehr. Hope you like. Faith Evans
Category: Other
Rating: R
Cut to confessional....Maria.... (you hear in the background:

Liz: Oh, Max, you sexy behr you!

Max: Shut up and Kiss me.)

Maria: Now I want a relationship like that. (In front of her is a dumped out bag of Max's Viagra Candy, with all his other ones now including Viagra Mentos: The Sexmaker)

Maria: Ok, its about time Michael has sex with me whether he wants to or not. (She grabs the bag on candy and storms out of Confessional Room)

Cut to scene...Michael and Isabel are playing fusball...strip fusball....

Isabel: Goal! (she lifts her arms up) Alright, boxers off buddy, now.

Michael begins to take them off.

Maria walks in.

Maria: Michael, what are you doing?

Michael: playing strip fusball.

Maria: here, I brought some candy for you. (It has been unwrapped and she hands him a couple of candy bars) I figure it will pump you up for the game.

Michael eats all four-candy bars. He continues to play, and he has taken his boxers off.

Isabel looks confused and Michael makes a goal because she was focusing on something else.

Michael: Ha! Goal! Shoes!

Isabel: Uh, Michael?

Michael: What?

You see a huge glow coming from Michael's body. He looks down at his little alien, which is now doing its own alien dance. (You hear hallelujah in the background)

Maria: Wow! These really do work!

Michael: I have the uncontrollable urge to hump something.

Maria: Hump me!

Michael: Ok!

Maria and Michael go at it in front of Isabel. She looks so annoyed.

Cut to Confessional...Isabel...

Isabel: Well, after the whole Alex with the computer fiasco, I figure it was time I got some action as well. So, I saw the mentos on the table and I grabbed them and I gave them to Alex.

Cut to scene...Alex's bedroom.

Alex is looking at his computer, and his really really perplexed.

Alex: Why won't these keys come back on? (He begins to stroke his computer) It's okay, Lambchops, I'll make it all better. (He begins to kiss it)

Isabel knocks on the door and comes in.

Cut back to confessional...Isabel...

Isabel: But I didn't want to make him feel less macho so I couldn't tell him what candy they were.

Cut back to Alex and Isabel....

Isabel: I thought you could use a mentos.

Alex: Thanks.

Alex pops it into his mouth and he gets this grin on his face.

Alex: So, Isabel, have you ever heard of a threesome with a hard drive?

Cut to confessional...Isabel...

Isabel: So, you know, what Alex suggested was a little weird, but as long as I was getting some I didn't care.

Cut back to Alex and Isabel...

Isabel: (hesitates for a second) Sure. (She begins to unbutton his pants and find his little friend to be very happy but she sees no glow. She looks a little disappointed, but they go at it anyway. All of a sudden you hear all these beeps from the computer. You hear from the computer speaker: Oh yeah, more. Harder.... Faster. Isabel gives Alex a look)

Isabel: Alex, your computer it's alive!

Alex: Her name is Lambchops. And I programmed her to say that. Isn't that cool?

Isabel looks at Alex and is a little taken back by it.

Isabel: So how long have you and Lambchops had this relationship?

Alex: Not very long.

Isabel: What? So I couldn't satisfy you enough? You had to turn to your computer? Alex, I have done nothing but weird freeky childhood fantasies for you, and this is what you do to thank me, get frisky with your computer?

Alex: Her name is Lambchops and she doesn't deserve to be talked about that way. She is a respectable PC.

Isabel: Oh, fine, be that way! Ugh! (She storms out of the room completely frustrated and very upset.)

Cut to confessional.... Alex has Lambchops on his lap.

Alex: Lambchops, about what Isabel said before, I just...I want you to know that I don't feel anything for her. I look at you, and I know you're who I'm supposed to be with. I've always known it. What happened here that day, when you got booted up, and how that brought us together...its fate. Look at me. You're the one, Lambchops...the only one. I could never be with anyone else.

Cut to scene...Valenti and Kyle. Max and Liz are it again and Kyle is standing in front of the monitor lonely. He looks at his father.

Kyle: Come on, Dad, don't you want to bond with me?

Valenti: I want some baby back ribs.

Kyle: I think there is something seriously wrong with you. I think they hypnotized you or something.

Valenti: I'm dead sexy. (He starts to massage his belly and is eating fried chicken.) I must kill Austin Powers.

Kyle: there is no such thing as Austin Powers. It's a character in a movie.

Cut to Max and Liz in her room....

Max and Liz are trying to recuperate from their otherworldly sex. They are completely exhausted.

Liz: I never knew Jason Beer could get you this aroused.

Max: Well the man is just beautiful in every way.

Liz: Max, for our anniversary I thought I would give you something really special.

Max: What's that?

Liz: Well, I can't give you THE Jason behr but I can give you something very close to it. I called Nasedo. I asked him to shapeshift into Jason Behr. He's coming over tomorrow.

Max: What? You did that, for me?

Liz: I guess these are the things you do when...when you feel a certain way about someone.

Max: I guess. OmG! How am I gonna prepare? I look horrible, I have to work out!

Liz: Don't worry. Don't worry. I'll be with you throughout the whole thing. Hey, I wouldn't mind getting some Jason Behr also.

Index | Part 29
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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