FanFic - Other
"The Real World …. Roswell Style"
Part 21
by RBS722
Disclaimer: This is a purely fun parody of the show the Real world. I do not refer to any real world cast members in anyway, and I do not mean to offend any real world fans. Also, I love all the Roswell characters. The dialogue I made is for entertainment and for laughs only. I am not in anyway bashing any character. There are also many sexual innuendos and undertones, so if you do not want to read any of that nature, I suggest you leave the thread. Teddybehr ****** Due to the popularity of the story I felt everyone should have a chance to read it. I in no way wrote this story I just compiled this all together straight from the Roswell 1 FanForem board and ran a quick spell check, I gave credit to everyone who participated and I'm submitting this with permission from the original author teddybehr. Hope you like. Faith Evans
Category: Other
Rating: R
Authors Note: This part written by shortiegrl510
Cut to scene. Alex is in his Bulwinkle costume, pacing in the living room. Rehearsing what he's about to say, and MTV is on in the background. Hot zone has just ended.

Alex: Wow, now I wish I could be as cool as that guy in the M hat. See, he actually is cool when he says he watches the Cartoon Network. When I say it, everyone calls me as a freak.

TRL has just come on. Alex continues to freak out about it, until its 45 minutes later. You hear on the TV:

Carson Daly: And here at number 4 today is Eminem with the Real Slim Shady.

Alex sits down mesmerized at the TV.

Alex: Wow, this eminem guy really will say anything he wants and not be afraid of the consequences.

He begins to watch the video, and gets up and starts to his Bulwinkle costume, to the real slim shady.

Maria walks in an hour later.

Alex has taped the episode and rewound it.

Maria: Alex, what are you doing?

Alex: I'm the real Bulwinkle, the only Bulwinkle, and all the other bullfinches are just imitating so won't the real Bulwinkle please stand up, please stand up, please stand up...

Maria: Uh...Alex...

Alex: What the f*ck do you want?

Maria: Nothing, I was just worried about you.

Alex: Oh yeah, I know, sorry. I was in my Alex eminem mode.

Maria: yeah, o...k. Just if you happen to write a song, don't ever diss me like he did to Christina Aguilera, because if you do, I will seriously kick your ass.

Alex: Ok...

Isabel and Max walk in.

Isabel: So, Alex, Max said you had something to tell me.

Max nods head at Alex to say something.

Alex: yeah, I just wanted to say that...

Max looks at him, and motions him to go on.

Alex: There a million of people who are just like me who don't give a f*ck like me, who walk, talk, and act like me and might just be the next best thing but not quite me. So back up bitch.

Isabel: Alex, I think you have a problem...You hide behind all those costumes.

Max: Why are you so scared to Alex?

Alex: (to Max) Why are you so scared to be eminem?

Alex rushes out.

Cut to confessional...Alex still in the Bulwinkle costume...

Alex: Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he just didn't say what I think he did, did he?" And Kyle said... Nothing you idiots! Kyle's dead, he's locked in my basement! He stands around for a second and says nothing. He then says…

Alex: What? You expected me to let him screw around with my dolls and not have to pay for it?

Cut to Liz and Max in the bedroom.

Max: I thought I should consult with you first.

Liz: yeah?

Max: I don't even know what you must be feeling right now. I thought about telling you a thousand times.

Liz: That you're addicted to Viagra candy?

Max: I think I have this addiction problem. First the krispy kremes, now this. It's embarrassing…Next thing I know I will a basketball fanatic and be watching the Cartoon Network all the time. What is happening to me?

Liz: yeah, next thing you know, you'll be turning into a guy who has the same name as an animal.

Max: What am I gonna do?

Liz: There is nothing wrong with you. So you happen to like candy? Plus, it helps you give great performance in bed. (smiles at him)

Cut to confessional…Liz…

Liz: I told him I wasn't worried, but I really am. What happens if Max goes into sexual overdrive? I might not be able to take it all, and we're talking about me here. I picked this book up at the book store, hopefully it will help (she holds up the book and it says "Viagra Candy for Dummies") God, some people don't even know how to eat it? Could people get even stupider?

Cut to scene…Max knocks on the door to Michael in the bathroom.

Max: Michael, there's something I have to confess to you….and its been going on for a while now, and I just can't contain it anymore.

Michael: Well, I hate to tell you this, Max, but when I have urges, you're not exactly the first person I think about.

Max: No…not that. I think I have a problem.

Michael: Yeah and what's that (starts fixing hair).

Max: I think my body is now dependant on viagra candy.

Michael: Oh, we all have dependencies. I have it with hair spray, Isabel has some weird fascination with carrots, you have it with Viagra candy. It's not a big deal.

Max: What if I can't stop?

Michael: I don't know, Max. It feels so wrong, but it feels so good.

Cut to scene…Max walks into Alex's bedroom.

Max: Maybe I really don't know what it's like for you.

Alex is sitting on his bed, in his Bulwinkle costume, crying.

Alex: What the hell is wrong with me?

Max: Nothing. You're fine compared to me…I am hooked on Viagra Candy.

Alex: We are all so screwed up. And to top it all off I'm this cartoon crazed lunatic. Isabel will never marry me.

Max: I'm sure she will. Just give it time.

Cut to scene…confessional…Liz…

Liz: I've missed a few days. But in my absence I've been thinking about some things, about life before my sex life with Max, of how I used to pray for something to happen, something to just break the routine, you know, of just making out...something that would make me less horny. And ever since I got my wish and Max Evans had sex with me, I realized one thing...that the hornier you get, the more sex you want.

Cut to confessional…Max…

Max: Viagra Candy, I realized is not a bad thing or anything to be ashamed of. I can't keep on living with this secret, and I don't want to. (stands up and looks straight in the camera) I'm Max Evans and I have an impotency problem. And you know what, Viagra Candy tastes good and I like it. Sue me.

Cut to scene…Alex's bedroom…

Isabel walks in.

Isabel: hi Alex.

Alex: Oh, hi.

Isabel: Um, I just wanted to tell you that whatever you're going through, I want to be with you. I don't care if you are some closet Eminem impersonator who dresses in a Bulwinkle costume.

Alex: But I'm out of control.

Isabel: Don't you realize that when I started all this costume thing with you, I realized things might get weird. I'm here if you need me.

Alex smiles and walks out of the room.

Cut to scene…Maria is cleaning the kitchen counter.

Michael walks in.

Michael: Look, Maria, I didn't mean what I said.

Maria: Then, why'd you say it?

Michael: Look, I turned over a new leaf. Look…(he lights all of his hair products on fire in the sink). My hair can never compare to how much I love you.

Maria: Oh Michael!

They start going at it. There's a big flare from the sink. The products have combusted into this huge fire.

Maria: Uh…Michael is it hot in here?

Michael: OH yeaaaaaaaaaaah. (he starts to unbutton her shirt, he notices she is no longer wearing the hairy bra.) Oh. (he looks disappointed and notices the sink, goes and puts out the fire, he looks at her)

Maria: Face it Michael. I can't compete with your hair.

She runs out.

Part 20 | Index | Part 22
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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