FanFic - Other
"Stay Forever"
Part 1
by Jez
Disclaimer: Do you REALLY think the neighbourhood squeegee kid ownsRoswell?
Summary: How was Isabel dealing with Michael's absence those first three years?
Category: Other
Rating: PG
Authors Note: This happens just after my fic 'Hello Again' and corresponds with 'I'm Glad You're Back'.
Momma worries about me too much. I think that it scares her that I'm so sad. But how can I tell her about the other boy without telling her about how me and Max were born? She wouldn't understand. We don't really understand. All we know is that we're different.

Different from everybody else. Except the other boy. I am fine during the day, when there's lots of things to do. But once I'm in bed, all safe and snug, I remember what it was like to be so cold in the desert. Isn't it strange that being warm makes me so cold? And when I rememberbeing cold, I remember the other boy. My other brother.

I remember how scared Momma was when me and Max first came to live here. She would lay beside me, stroking my hair, and begging me to tell her what made me so sad. But I couldn't do it. How could I tell her that she left my brother behind? That there was another little boy all alone in the desert when we drove away? Would she be mad because me and Max never told her about the other boy?

Momma asked the school therapist to talk to me from the first day I started school. Max used to have to go too, for a while, but he doesn't scare Momma like I do. He doesn't cry all night for our brother. We don't talk about him, but sometimes I see Max watching the other kids, waiting to see him. I know that Max misses him too.

The therapist, Ms. Watson, is really nice. I talk to her every Monday during morning recess. She's nice, but I don't tell her my secrets. I promised Max that we'd never tell anybody. We promised on the day Daddy took us to the UFO Museum. We saw the alien body on the table, and somehow we knew that that's what they would do to us if anybody knew. If anybody knew about our powers. About how we were born from these egg things on a wall.

Ms. Watson likes to talk about the past. She talks about what it was like for me before Momma and Daddy found us. I tell her I don't remember, but she doesn't believe me. She thinks that I have secrets about my past. About my real parents. She thinks that they are what make me cry at night, when the dark covers my eyes and all the sound stops except for my heart and breath. I never tell her about the other boy.

She tries to figure it out though. Ms. Watson is really smart. She asks these questions that all lead back to the boy, even though she doesn't even know about him. I answer her questions without even knowing that she is talking about him until I almost tell her about my brother.

Like just now. She ask me 'What do you dream about at night?' I told her that I dream about the desert and a shadow person. Then she asked if I could see what the shadow person looks like. I told her yes. She asked me if it was a boy or girl. I said boy. And THEN she asked me if the shadow is someone from my past, like my real dad. I didn't even see that one coming. I told her it was Max.

Just like one of the first times I saw her. Ms. Watson asked what I wanted most of all in the world. I told her that I want to marry Max. When she asked me why, I told her that if I married him, then he could never leave me. Then we could always be together. I didn't understand that you can't marry your brother then. She smiled and said that Max is my family, and family doesn't ever leave. I called her a liar, and then she asked me about when my real family left me. Don't you think that was tricky?

I have been seeing Ms. Watson for three years, and she always manages to trick me. But I can't ever tell her my secrets. Sometimes I want to though. I want to tell Momma and Daddy too. But what if they don't like me when they know that I'm different?

I used to believe that if I wished hard enough, I could be like everyone else. I used to wish as hard as I could on every star that I would wakeup and Momma and Daddy would really be my parents. I thought if I wished hard enough, I would go for breakfast and have two brothers waiting for me. Two brothers drinking Tabasco sauce and orange juice. Two. Max and the other one.

All I have of my other brother is questions. I wonder what he looks like. Does he have dark eyes like us? Is he tall for his age like us? Do his ears stick out like Max's? Do people make baby sounds and say how cute he is too? I wonder if he remembers us. Does he remember our parents? Did he ever get back home? Is he going to be at our house when we come home from school?

I don't like to have all these questions. They keep me up at night. I miss my brother. I wish that he was here. Sometimes when I sleep in Max's bed, I pretend that if I roll over, he will be there too. It's so lonely without him. I need him so much, it makes me cry. And sometimes, I can hear him cry too.

He cries at night. Somehow, I know this. He cries, and he needs me to be there for him. Only I can't. 'Cause I don't know where he is. I can't walk down the hall to his room and hold him, like I can with Max. Because he never came with us. I should have reached for his hand. I should have showed Momma and Daddy where he was hiding. If I did, we wouldn't cry together at night.

I wonder if he gets hurt sometimes. Like how Ms. Watson thinks my real parents hurt me. Because, sometimes, when we cry together, I wake up in the morning with bruises on my arms and chest that weren't there before. I heal them with my powers before anyone can see them. They are one of my secrets too. Mine and my brother's. Our only secret together. Max doesn't get to know about them either. Maybe he has secrets with our brother too.

I wish I could go back and make everything right. I want to grab my brother's hand and drag him to the car, even though he didn't want to go. He was just too scared. He's still scared, because he's still alone. But that won't be forever. Me and Max will find him. And when we do, I'll protect him forever. No one hurts my brothers.

I wonder what would happen if I told Ms. Watson about my brother. Sometimes, I think that she could help us find our brother. But I know that is a lie, even when I ask Max. Because if he was here, one of us would find him. We can feel each other, me and Max. We have been able to do that from the first night we were born. And we felt our brother until he was too far away. Like how a radio station only sends signals so far.

Maybe I'll see him soon. Sometimes I think that I feel his signals. But I never find him. It always turns out to be Max. It happened again today. I've had this weird feeling all day. Like a chill or an itch that won't go away.

"Isabel." I look up. Ms. Watson is tapping her pen against her notepad. "Isabel, tell me what you're thinking of."

I smile. I wonder again what would happen if I told her. I lie. I always do. "I was thinking about the school play."

I think she'll believe that. Why wouldn't I be thinking about that? Our class is doing Robin Hood, and I get to be Maid Marion. Max is one of the Merry Men. And if my other brother was here, maybe he could be Will Scarlet, or the Sheriff. I wouldn't want him to be Robin Hood, though. I'm big enough to know that you don't marry your brothers. You just hold on to them so tight they can't let go.

I can tell Ms. Wilson doesn't believe me. When she thinks I'm lying, her mouth twitches a little, and she hums Michael Jackson. Before she can say anything, there is a knock at the door.

"Wait here, Isabel." She opens the door, goes outside. I can hear her talking with the principal. There are lots of angry voices out in the hall. A teacher comes in, dragging in a boy about my age. The chills get bigger. It's him. Hello again.

I look at him closely. His face is all red, and his hair is messed up. He has a bloody lip, and his clothes are covered with dust. My brother's been in a fight. I see a yellow bruise on his arm, just under the sleeve of his tee shirt. I had one there two days ago.

He looks me over. I can see tears in his eyes, but I can tell that he won't cry, even though I am. I get out of my chair and hug him tight. I whisper in his ear.

"I'm glad you're back. Stay forever."

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