FanFic - Other
"Broken"
Part 2
by Chase
Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Hanging by a moment" by the lifehouse family or "Do what you have to do" by Sarah McLachlan. I do not own Roswell or any of the characters on it.
Summary: Maria centered, about domestic violence. So, it's pretty heavy, so you've been warned.
Category: Other
Rating: R
Authors Note: See part one. Plus I don't own "honestly okay " by Dido Authors notes: I'm sorry if you guys hate this...I didn't plan for it to end like this so...blah, also a thank you to Emily for just being Emily.
I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
But I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin, then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again.

*

Alex walked outside with caution, moments earlier his four year daughter Caitlin had entered the house screaming that auntie Maria was here but she couldn’t talk or see any more.

Alex neared Maria who was sitting on one of the swings on a swing set that overlooked the ocean in his extended back yard.

Alex sat down on the swing next to Maria and looked at the ocean in front of him, "Maria" he stated "What’s wrong?"

Maria said nothing, she just continued to stare out at the Ocean.

"What are you doing in North Carolina?" Alex attempted again.

Alex sighed and turned towards Maria and touched her on the arm "Mar-" he started Suddenly Maria flinched away from his touch "Don’t touch me!" she screamed "Don’t fucking touch me!"

Alex stopped breathing for a minute, she wasn’t herself. In the corner of his eye, he saw his two oldest yet still young kids standing on the verandah. He mouthed, ‘Go’ and they obeyed, running inside. He got off his swing and crouched down in front of Maria "Maria…talk to me. What’s wrong?"

Maria looked out to the ocean again "I can’t say" she said in a emotionless tone.

Alex exhaled deeply "Maria, you have to tell me what’s going on. We are all worried about you..."

"Who are we?" Maria asked bitterly "You and Liz?"

"Me…Liz…your mother…Kyle…Carla…"

"Carla’s worried about me?" Maria said esparated "She hates me" "She’s still worried about you’ Alex told her.

Maria didn’t take her eyes away from the ocean "She doesn’t need to be. I’m fine"

Alex closed his eyes momentarily "Look into my eyes and tell me that"

Maria’s gaze stayed glued on the ocean " I don’t need to. Believe me"

"Well, frankly Maria I don’t believe you! You have been in and out of the hospital for "falling down the stairs?" three times!" Alex shot back "Your going to look me in the eyes and tell me that your fine"

"No" Maria responded

"Maria" Alex warned "Look me in the eyes"

Maria shook her head and didn’t say a word

"Come on Maria" Alex stated "Look me in the eyes and tell me! I dare you"

"Dares don’t work on me Alex. We’re not sixteen any more" Maria told him flatly, she gazed at the deep ocean and the deep grey sky, threatening a storm at any moment.

"You won’t look me into the eyes because you know it’s true" Alex told her softly

"It’s not true" Maria told him

"Then look me in the eye"

Maria turned towards Alex slowly and let her eyes connect with his "I’m fi-" she started. She took in his eyes filled with concern and the tears rolling down his face. She let loud sobs fill the silent air. Her head darted up and down the beach, her hands sliding up and down the metal chain, she reverted her attention back to Alex as she tried to find the courage to speak. Alex got up and wrapped his arms around her and Maria lent into him letting her tears stain his shirt. "I can’t do it any more Alex" she sobbed into him.

Alex pulled away a fraction so he could see her face "Maria, do what?" he asked as he raked his hand through her hair.

Maria closed her eyes and took in a deep breath "Be with him any more Alex. He hurts me"

Alex took her tightly in his arms again "I know Maria, I know" he held her tight to him as she cried and cried. Alex caught sight of Carla standing about ten metres away with tears running down her face, he nodded slightly and she gave him a forced half smile then turned and walked back towards the house.

Suddenly Maria jolted from Alex’s grasp

"Maria?" Alex asked in surprise

Maria looked at Alex in a panic and jumped off from the swing just as a loud clap of thunder erupted sending the sky into millions of drop of rain "The kids, I forgot the kids!" she screamed towards the ocean. Maria pulled her hand through her hair in frustration " I left them with that monster! I’m a horrible person, oh my god! Fuck" she shouted.

Alex placed a hand on Maria’s shoulder "Maria-"

Maria shrugged him away "I’ve got to get back to them!" she cried as she started to run towards the car.

"fuck" Alex muttered under his breath as he ran to catch up with her, once he had he placed his hand on her shoulder, she spun around to face him

"what?" she shouted "all I care about is my kids!"

She turned to go again and Alex grabbed her and held her tightly "Maria" he told her quietly his voice laden with concern "You are in no condition to drive"

Maria kicked him in his shins repetitively causing Alex to drop her and flat to the ground "No! I need to get to them now!" she cried in anguish.

Alex dragged himself off the ground and followed Maria to the car.

Before she could get in the drivers seat of the car Alex did and locked the door. Maria pounded on the window "Alex, what the fuck are you doing?" she cried.

"I’m driving you back!" he yelled through the window. "No" Alex said simply as he started the ignition

"well..well what about Carla?" Maria spluttered

Alex rolled his eyes "Carla will understand"

Maria scowled as she leant back in her passenger’s seat. Maria watched at the rolling scenery as the sky lit up with fury. She closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep…but she couldn’t. She could hear Alex on his cell phone finishing up a conversation with Carla. "Okay then sweetie, I’ll see you soon. I love you loads"

Maria opened her eyes and stared at Alex "Hey" she told him

"Hey yourself" Alex said back "How are you?"

Maria paused and licked her lips in thought. She then bit her lower lip as it trembled "Do you think I’m a bad mother Alex?"

Alex sighed deeply and pulled over to the side of the road "Maria" he told her his voice filled with love "You are not a bad mother" he tucked a strand of long light brown curly hair behind Maria’s ear "Maria, I have known you practically all my life. I spent the hardest times of my life with you, I shared a secret with you. Maria, you and Liz will always be my best friends" he smiled at her sadly "I have seen you with your kids Maria, you are the perfect mother to them." Alex paused and tears started welling in his eyes "I was with you when Mikey was born. I remember it was you, me, Liz, your mother and even Kyle and Valenteni. The others had left by then…" he said a wistful look in his eyes "we all wanted to be there for you then" Alex cupped Maria’s chin in his hands "It wasn’t just because we wanted to make sure Mikey wasn’t alien looking like and that the hospital would run tests on him before Liz could. It was because we all cared about him so much. It wasn’t just him Maria. It was Mikey" Alex took a deep breath and took Maria’s hand in his "It was a stormy night Maria, so stormy. Your mother delivered him, Liz acting as an assistant. Kyle and I were on both sides of you, you were gripping our hands so tight. We couldn’t write for a week after that" he joked "You were screaming at Kyle and I the whole time for being male. You got pretty stuck into Valenteni who was doing look out. But you didn’t cry through the entire labour. You were so strong for y our baby, you never said you were going to give up and that was pretty amazing of you. Carla cried the entire time. She said repetivily that she couldn’t do it. But once Mikey was out and we placed him in your arms…you started bawling. You told me that you couldn’t see how you could have helped make something so perfect." Alex paused and squeezed Maria’s hand as she cried silently "Everyone told you shouldn’t move much but that night you took Mikey outside. You just wanted to show him the sky" Alex shook his head as he laughed "You were so detirmed Maria, you refused to listen to any of us" Alex hung his head in shame and his tone changed to a bit sheepish. "I didn’t tell you this before but I watched you through the window, You were whispering to him quietly, I couldn’t make out what you were saying. You pointed towards the sky and I craned my neck to see. The sky was so stormy and cloudy that night, but the clouds had parted and the formation – their formation was there crystal clear."

Alex glanced at Maria who gazed into his eyes in return "From that moment Maria" he told her earnestly "from the moment Mikey was born I know you would be the worlds best mother. And Maria, trust me that’s the truth"

Maria clutched Alex with all her might as she let all the flow of her tears out.

***

it was dark out, Maria breathed in deeply. She glanced at Alex and then at Liz who they had picked up on the way for more strengh.

"I can do this" she said quietly

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Alex questioned

"Yeah" Liz said quietly from the backseat "Do you want me-" she glanced at Alex "us to go in with you?"

Maria shook her head "I need to do this by myself"

"But if he tries to hurt you-" Alex started

Maria shook her head "He won’t wake up, trust me Alex. His a heavy sleeper because he takes sleeping tablets. He has issues with the kids having nightmares…"

Maria breathed in and unbuckled her seat belt " I can do this guys"

Alex kissed her on her hand "I know you can"

Maria nodded and opened up her car door "So I’m going to come out and blink my car lights so you know I’m okay, okay?"

Liz nodded slowly "Maria? Just get in there and get the kids and get out okay?"

Maria nodded and took Liz’s hand and squeezed it tightly "I promise I will Liz. As long as you guys promise me you will not enter that house okay?"

"But I want to hurt him. So much" Alex grimaced.

Maria squeezed his hand "Please Alex, don’t okay? I still…" she struggled speak "a part of me still loves him…but I’m strong enough now to know his bad for me and the kids. I can’t do it to myself or the kids any more" Maria took a deep breath "and he doesn’t love me because he hurts me" she concluded.

Alex gave her a tight squeeze "Thank god Maria" he whispered into her ear.

Liz hugged her again tightly and Maria pulled away as she started to cry "I can do this on my own" Maria told them as she climbed out of the car. She shut the door and looked at her two best friends through the car window " I love you" she mouthed as she stared at him through the car window.

Maria breathed in deeply as she opened her house door, she really knew what was going to happen…but she couldn’t let Alex see it. She knew she would keep coming back, again and again because she loved Timothy, he hurt her but she loved him. She knew he would be waiting for her in the lounge room, his eyes would be red for hatred. He didn’t drink. That was the scary thing, his rage wasn’t induced by the bottle…it made it somewhat more real. More scary. More true. This was the longest she had ever been away, she didn’t know how he would react. Would he be madder? She just knew she had to get her kids away from him for good, maybe this was why she was doing it. She thanked God thank Alex and Liz wouldn’t be able to hear what was going to happen from the car. Your doing this for Mikey, Eliza and Adia she said to herself this is the only way you can be strong for them. If this doesn’t happen, you will go back and he will get to see your beautiful children. He would ruin them

Maria opened up the door slowly and walked in taking a deep breath. Timothy was waiting in an armchair for her, he looked so mad, he had told her he would kill her if she ever left again. Maria knew he was telling the truth.

Maria closed her eyes as she stood before Timothy. He started screaming at her " How the hell could you do this Maria? Don’t you know what I have to do? I love you for Gods sake! But you have to make me so MAD!"

"Please" Maria pleaded "Quiet. The kids" she didn’t want them to see their own mother by killed. She prayed with every spot in her heart for them not to see it.

Mikey came out "Mom?" he questioned. Eliza came out behind him "Mommy?" she said overjoyed. They started to run towards her but Maria shook her head and they stopped "I’m sorry I wasn’t here" she told them. She forced a smile to her face "Whenever I’m not here just remember that I really am okay?" Eliza nodded not knowing what Maria was talking about "Go to bed. Promise me that you won’t come out till morning okay?" Maria told her son and daughter " I love you" she told them as tears welled up in her eyes. Don’t let them see you cry she told herself. Eliza nodded and trailed off to bed dragging her stuffed bear behind her.

Mikey stood there not moving "Mikey please" Maria pleaded on the verge of tears "go. Please" she told him again.

Mikey nodded and took a long look at her then fled from the room.

Maria stared at Timothy who had rage in his eyes he lunged towards her and slammed her against the wall, Maria didn’t make a noise as she was used to hearing her slender frame thrust against the hard wall. Tim grabbed her body and thrust it hard against the floor and took his hands and wrapped them tightly around her neck and squeezed tightly as he screamed at her "Maria why the hell did you have to do this to our family? We could have been great together but you had to pull this!"

Maria struggled to breath but couldn’t and Tim made his grasp tighter and tighter and Maria could feel her face turning blue…then purple. Her head was going all light headed and the room all fuzzy…how long had Tim had his hands around her neck now for? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? She didn’t know. All she knew was she was drifting and that she was going to die. She just knew it.

Maria closed her eyes and re lived her favourite memory. She had taken Adia, Eliza and Mikey on a moon lit picnic. She had told him all the star constellations. They were laughing. She wanted to live in that moment forever and ever.

**

Liz looked at Alex nervously "Maria’s been in there for twenty three minutes" she told him her brown eyes moist with concern "we have waited for her way to long. She would have taken five, we can’t put it off any longer"

Alex nodded and took in a sharp breath "your right. But maybe I should go in first then give you the all clear okay?" he asked her.

Liz rolled her eyes as she opened the door and stepped outside "Alex, no way. I’m going in there for Maria, end of story."

Alex nodded and gripped Liz’s hand as they walked up the winding trail to the Maria’s house.

Alex took a deep breath and gripped Liz’s hand tightly as they stood in front of the door. Alex searched Liz’s eyes and she nodded and he opened the door wide and saw Maria lying on the floor a contented smile frozen on her face, a look of blissful happiness. He felt Liz go numb beside him. Timothy was standing next to Maria crying. He dropped to the floor in anguish "Maria? Oh my god! What have I done?" he moaned. He slapped her cheeks lightly "Maria? Maria? Baby, wake up" he pleaded. Timothy looked off grief stricken at Alex without saying a word.

"Get away from her" Alex told him flatly.

Timothy nodded and Alex looked down at Maria she knew she thought. Alex took a deep breath and sized Timothy and threw him to the wall, he raised his hand to throw him a punch but at the last moment he dropped him and pulled back , Timothy slid down the wall to the floor. Alex looked down with a mix of pity and hatred to Timothy who was crying against the wall "You’re not worth it" he sneered at him as she stared at him with a mix of hatred and pity.

Alex glanced over at Liz who had crumpled next to Maria and was gripping her hand "Maria please!" Liz was pleading "wake up, Maria!" Liz said as steady flows of tears fell down her face. Her brown eyes were pleading "Maria, you can’t do this to me! I need you Maria!" Liz hugged Maria’s lifeless body to her own "Please…" she said between loud sobs "Maria…don’t….leave…me"

Alex placed his arms around Liz and rocked her softly as he felt salty warm tears fall down his face "Liz…she’s gone" he told her softly.

Liz felt another surge of tears come over her and she started bawling as she clutched onto Alex as if she would never let go. ***

A sixteen year old Mike DeLuca sat out on a blanket with his two younger sisters.

"That one is the Big Dipper" he remarked to them.

Thirteen year old Eliza rolled her eyes "Like I didn’t know that. I’m thinking of changing my name to Liza? Doesn’t it just have more energy? Li-za? I like it" she commented. Mike rolled his eyes "Yeah, whatever"

Eliza stuck out her tongue at him and pointed towards a constellation "whats that one?"

Mike’s eyes shone "You don’t remember mom showing it to us?"

"mom" Eliza said quietly "I miss her"

Eight year old Adia climbed onto Mike’s lap " I don’t remember her. Is that bad?" she asked seriously.

Mike ruffled her hair "No, you were only a baby"

Adia leant into him "can you tell me about her again?"

Mike smiled as Eliza leant into him and held onto Adia’s hand "What story do you want?" he asked her.

Adia smiled as she peered at the constellation that was shining brightly "I just want the mom story"

Mike nodded and hugged Adia tight with one arm as he brang his other arm around Eliza "Once apoun a time there was a beautiful girl called Maria who lived in Roswell, New Mexio. Like we do now.She was the same age as I was at the time, Maria was very caring, sweet and most of all funny. She was a lot like Eliza" he said grinning at his younger sister "Her best friend was called Liz and they did everything together. They talked on the phone, they went to school together and they even worked together in the Crackdown in little green uniforms with an alien apron. One day Liz fell in love with a boy called Max and Maria met his best friend Micheal. She hated him at first but they fell so much in love. She was his princess. But one day he had to leave to go far far away, he didn’t want to…but he had to"

"Why did he have to go away?" Adia asked

"He just had too. It was his duty" Mike tried to explain. Adia shrugged, seemingly happy with his explanation.

"Mikey?" Adia asked suddenly

"yes?"

"How did mommy and daddy die?" she asked.

Mike caught Eliza’s eye and she exhaled deeply shaking her head.

Mike held Adia close "One day mommy and daddy decided to go on a holiday, they were driving but there was a car accident"

Adia nodded "Did she hurt?"

Mike shook his head "No. They didn’t feel a thing"

"Good" Adia said as she yawned "I don’t want anybody to ever hurt"

Mike and Eliza shared a worried glance over Adia.

When Mike turned back Adia had fallen asleep "Out like a light" he joked

"that’s because she’s like the energiser bunny" Eliza said dryly. She looked at him "Mike?"

"yeah?" he asked as he drew his attention to her

"Do I really remind you of her?"

Mike smiled and kissed her on the forehead "More and more each day" he told her truthfully.

Eliza’s forehead creased "Mike…I’m scared I’m going to forget her. I mean, it’s just little things, I’m forgetting how she smelt, or what her voice sounded like…I’m scared one day I wont have any memories of her"

Mike gave her shoulder a supportive squeeze "Eliza…you were so young. You will never forget mom, no one ever could. Strangers who saw her for a spilt second would never forget her. She was incredible. We were lucky to have her as a mom, and Eliz…I know this sounds corny but she lives on completely in you. You are mom Eliza."

Eliza brushed a tear away "Pretty hard person to live up to huh?"

Mike nodded "You’ll do fine Eliza. Be yourself"

Eliza nodded "Where do you think she is?"

Mike took in a deep breath "I don’t know Eliza. All I know is that she is watching over us and she is happy"

"Is it wrong for me to hate her for not leaving him?" Eliza asked

Mike shook his head "No. But Eliza, the thing is, she couldn’t live. She loved Timothy, she knew she would keep coming back and she knew he could hurt us. She did the strongest thing Eliza, she sacrificed her own life so she could make sure he would never lay a finger on us"

Eliza wiped tears away with her sleeve "I hate being a part of Timothy. I hope he rots in hell"

Mike pulled her closer to him so they were cheek to cheek "Trust me Eliza, you are every part of mom"

Eliza sighed in relief "Thank you Mike. For everything"

Mike nodded and kissed his sister on the head "It’s all going to be okay Eliza. You, me, Adia and Amy are a family"

Eliza nodded "I just miss her" she said softly as she wiped away another tear and held onto her brother and sister tightly.

*

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