Why do I know when you’re going to enter the room before you actually do? How can I sense when you’re looking at me from across the way? Why must I wonder about the reasons you don’t come to see me when you know I’m there, waiting for you?

And again, I’m left to wonder. I wonder if I would still fell this way about you if you really, truly reciprocated these feelings. Who knows? Maybe you do now and I just can’t see it in the same way I feel it in my own body. Am I just in this for the chase? The thought in my own mind that the hunt is better than the prize. When I have you the way I want you, will I know—what to do with you, how to please you—or will I just run away in fear like I’ve done so many times before? Will you be able to tame the beasts of fear, uncertainty, and regret that hide in me waiting for something good to eat... something that makes me feel good, special, human? These things all nourish the wild beasts in my mind. Will I find happiness in your arms... your eyes... your soul? Or will I just find a new reason to move on, alone?

More than anything, I want to find a home with you—in you. A place to always feel safe and loved. Can you offer that? Are you offering me that with your silent glances, the brush of your fingertips on my cheek?