Fanfic - Other Roswell Stories
"285 To Nowhere"
Part 3
by Nicole
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell or its characters. I am merely a fan. Hence the 'fan' in 'fanfic'. The survey questions are from 285 South and the lovely people at
Summary: Tess and Alex do a little bonding activity.
Category: Other Roswell Stories
Rating: PG
Author's Note: I had the idea for this for a while, and a sick day prompted me to write it... and write and write until it got way too long. Sorry. Please give me feedback, but only if its good or at least constructive. :)
"Okay, so we're almost done. My favorite book is Cyrano deBergerac. Do you have one?"

"The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"


She laughed. "Don't you dare awww me, Al. So help me I will turn this car right around and take you home."

"Yeah, yeah."

"In twenty pieces."


"And on fire."

"Okay, okay."

"I mean it!"

"I'll be good.... Tess?"


"What are you afraid of?"

"Ah. Heights."

"I'm serious."

"Me too, I always think I'm gonna fall."

"That's such a fake fear."

"No it isn't."

"Yeah. I thought we were being all open and honest, and you give me a fake answer."

"Alex, if you want, we can go to the top of a cliff and look down and you can watch me hyperventilate if that will make you trust me on this."


"Yes! Yes."

"The big interplanetary snowboarding trip is officially cancelled?"

"God, yes!"

"Okay, I believe you. In case you're interested, mine would be losing someone I love. See, that's a real serious opening-up-my-heart-to-you fear. But hey, screw that, we're almost done with this thing. What's your favorite animal?"

"The chameleon. Don't start reading anything, like, Freudian into that."

"I'll keep my mouth shut."

"And yours is?"

"Specifically, Barn. He's a little mouse that belonged to my host family in Sweden. He was so adorable. He was in my room and he made all these cute noises and stuff. So he, specifically, is my favorite animal. Generally I like cats."

"Are you sure you're not gay? Because I'm cool with that, really."

He smiled. "Wow. There is no bonding with you. Every step forward is like two cross-country plane rides backward."

She paused. "Okay, how's this for bonding? I want to know about your Uncle Jeff."

Alex looked at her in a mild state of shock. "No. Really? Well, uh, okay... he's a musician. I haven't seen him since junior high at least. He has one of those bands - not a famous band or anything like that, just one of those one-hit wonder groups who stay together until they're balding middle-aged losers touring state fairs."

"Oh, you obviously think very highly of this Uncle Jeff."

"No, no, but see when I was a kid I saw through all the lame stuff. He was just... hip, guitar-playing bad-ass Uncle Jeff! He was the coolest guy in the world."

Tess said, "That's sweet," in a much too sincere tone.

"No more bitchiness?"

She made an innocent angel face. "When am I ever that?"

"You've got quite a split personality disorder, I'm realizing that." She grinned over at him. "You know what else I'm realizing?" he continued. "This store cannot possibly be anywhere in our plane of existence. It has to be in a different dimension, that's the only explanation. How many times have you seen that sign right there? More than three, right?"

They pulled over and walked. They walked in the directions pointed out by anonymous people, at least those that didn't stare at them like they weren't speaking English when they asked about the music store.

Alex sighed. Yikes, it was catching on. "My legs hurt."

"You know what's good for that?"


She pulled out a sheet of familiar paper. "Answering question #18: Do you keep a journal of your life?"

"How is that helping my legs?"

"It keeps you from whining about them." she teased.

He shook his head in disbelief. "No, I do not keep a journal."

"I did."

"Get out. That's odd."

"Why is that odd?"

"Errr, no reason."

"What? It wasn't anything specific, just feelings and ideas and stuff I wanted to remember. Dumb things, and the occassional not so dumb thing."

"It's a real shame how much you have in common with that non-mentioned person you might kinda envy."

"What are you rambling about now?"

"Forget it. Let me see that thing. Who knows you best in this world?"

"I do."

"That's not fair."

"It's true though. Nobody knows me better."

"Well, obviously. You are you, but you have to pick someone else."

She stopped walking and crossed her arms. "Don't make me say Kyle."

"Well, if it is him, then why don't you-"

"Fine. Kyle. God, how depressing is that?"

"That's not so bad. Mine's probably Liz."

Tess pouted. "That's depressing too." she snapped. She squinted and fidgeted like she wasn't exactly sure what to do, so she put her arms back down and started walking again. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" she asked.

"I have absolutely no idea. I don't want to grow up. You?"

She shrugged. "I know what I wanted to be - or at least where I wanted to be in the future, the same place I always want to be. But then, I don't know. I just- I don't know."

"Now that I think about it, I'd kind of like to either be a balding middle-aged guitar player, or an unbelievably rich computer programmer, or maybe, possibly, a psychologist."

Tess grinned. "Mine?"

"You know, if you're still around and you still need my services - and you probably would - then yes. I could be. I'd have to charge you though."

"I've got credit cards." She stared at him a minute and took a deep breath, like she was preparing to say something fast and never say it again. "You know, this was nice. This was a nice day... even if you are only here because of your friendship pimp."

"I thought this was nice too."

"Now.... if only we knew how to get here." She looked over at the flyer for the Music Store Of Another Dimension. Alex looked around and back to the flyer at least five times, then stared up with a look of pure shock and confusion.

"I don't believe this," he finally said.


"I think we are here."

"Where's the store?"

"They turned it into a Starbucks."

"Wow, really?"

"This is crap! This is- this is so like corporatations to just come in and step all over the little people and- and-"

"We are so getting ice cream!" she squeaked.

The end....

No, wait, almost forgot:

This is what Kyle said:

Hey, you're back, did ya have fun? Take in some scenery? Spread your Martian voodoo throughout the surrounding countryside - No! Wait a sec! Hey! Chant or count to ten or something!... Hey, why the hell are you smiling so much anyway? Seriously, nothing, you know, happened between you guys, right?... NO, I am not jealous. Why on earth would I be jealous? I'm not. It's good. Good for you guys.... Really, nothing happened at all? Well, thank God. I mean, you know, whatever.

This is what Maria said:

Hey, Alex, I was just gonna call you. OH, you will not believe this! A bunch of us got to talking about that project and everything, and apparently Spaceboy has absolutely no memory of filling out one of them about me. And he didn't even say it like he was sorry or he wanted to make it up to me or anything. He was just 'duh, I had other things on my mind that day'. It never fails, he- what?... You're kidding, I love Starbucks. Hey, can I just call you back later or something? I'm going to Michael's right now. You would be so proud of me, really, I was such a 21st century woman, all Oprah and Hillary. I made him promise he'd let me go over there and give him all my answers in long looong detail, and if he's not paying attention, I'm gonna give him a pop quiz afterwards. So, I have to go, but I am really really happy that everything worked out with you guys. Does that mean I get my money back?... Hello?

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