FanFic - Michael/Maria
"The Gods Must Be Crazy"
Part 1
by Elizabeth
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Etc. Etc.
Summary: Michael and Maria are on vacation.
Category: Michael/Maria
Rating: PG
Key West, Florida

What am I doing here?

Maria has asked herself that question at least 645 times in the past three days.

It's Wednesday. She should be in school, she was supposed to work today, but instead she's in Florida, walking down some street with Michael. Well, walking with him in the sense that he's nearby. He usually walks slightly behind her or a little in front of her. The first night they got to Key West, he'd actually held her hand as they walked towards the hotel, which startled her. He's not one for those sorts of "displays" as he calls them. Heavens, someone might think he cared or something, and he wouldn't want that, oh no.

She peers at the faded street sign that marks the intersection. Fleming Street. Where the hell is that? And come to think of it, "Where the hell are we going?"

He turns to look at her. "The store. We're out of hot sauce."

She blushes. Did you know that hot sauce stings a little--kind of a hot, tingly sensation-- if it's poured onto your skin? She didn't know that until last night.

"Why did you ask me to come here with you?"

He doesn't answer.

What a surprise.


Three days ago

She's sitting in her bedroom, trying to paint her toenails without spilling polish onto her bed. Three bluish smudges are already there. Maybe a fourth won't join them.

Michael comes in through her window. She looks up, a little surprised. Michael had told her he'd stop running after his cobwebby thing, and for him, not running meant resuming their make-out sessions. She didn't think he'd ever come to her house. Liz told her she was crazy for getting involved with him again. "Michael is unstable. He's just going to hurt you."

Probably. But it's worth it. She could never do the Max/Liz thing anyway. Look at her mother. She believed in happily ever after, and what did it get her? A whole lot of nothing as far as Maria can tell. She reminds herself of this every time she wants to ask Michael how he feels about her.

"I'm going away for a while."

She figured this would happen. She just thought it would be later rather than sooner. She doesn't even look up from her feet. Please don't let me cry in front of him, she thinks. Just concentrate on what you're doing. She's painting her little toe, and it's so small. She just needs to move the brush a little to the right...

"Do you want to come with me?"

Plop. Another bluish smudge falls onto her comforter.

She doesn't even bother to say 'What?' She just says "Where are you going?"

"Key West"


"Why not? Besides, the check from child welfare services came today, and I got it before Hank did."

There's a bunch of stuff she should think about. Her mom, school, work. But looking at Michael, the only question she really wants to think about, really wants to ask is 'Why do you want me to go with you?'

But she just says "When are we leaving?" instead.


Key West

The grocery store is called Fausto's, and it's pretty small.. She wanders down the aisles. The store seems to have a little bit of everything. She picks up a can of chicken soup and winces. That little bit of everything is mighty expensive.

Michael comes down the aisle and grabs her hand. He actually looks happy. "Come on, we've got to go somewhere else."


"There's a store nearby that sells just hot sauce. We're going."

She sighs and looks longingly at the freezer case, which is packed full of ice cream. If he had a thing for ice cream, she could at least eat that. Hot sauce burns her mouth.


Two Days Ago

The plane is crowded. And it smells. When she asked him about it, he simply shrugged and said "What else can you expect when you buy the cheapest tickets you can find?" He actually sits next to her, which she wasn't expecting. He falls asleep as soon as the plan takes off, and she gets out the magazine she'd made him buy her. At least she is prepared.

Halfway through the flight, he wakes up and taps her on the shoulder. "Are we there yet?"

She laughs at him and puts down the magazine. "Are you kidding?"

He groans and put his hands over his eyes.

"We could talk for a while. Want to hear about the shoes I saw in the mall last week?" She loves teasing him. "Or you could borrow my magazine. I just read this article about a woman who rekindled her sex life by doing it in a bathroom."

He looks at her, and her eyes widen. "Michael?"

He's already half-way down the aisle. He gestures for her to hurry up.

It turns out to be a pretty enjoyable flight after all.


Key West

Duval Street is pretty crowded, but Peppers of Key West is empty, and Michael gazes at all the bottles of hot sauce with something akin to awe on his face. She looks out the front window and watches people amble their way down the street. It's too hot to walk with any sort of purpose.

He comes up to her, a gleam in his eye. "Which did you like better? Crazy Jerry's Brain Damage or Road to Hell?"

She blushes.


One Day Ago

Finding a hotel on the island was very easy, as there seem to be at least five on every block. They go out to dinner, and Michael discovers that there are little bottles of hot sauce on each table. He asks her if she brought a purse.

The waiter comes back and asks them if everything is ok. Michael asks for the check and says "Everything was great. But we've got to go."

They go through three little bottles of hot sauce that night. She's glad she won't be there when the maids come to change the sheets. Hot sauce stains. Did you know that?


Key West

They're walking back to the hotel. She'd made him buy her an ice cream cone, telling him "I have to keep my strength up."

He'd laughed, and she thinks it's the first time he's ever done that. He looked so surprised.

Do you love me?

She wants to ask him that. But she's afraid.


He's shaking his head, looking at a group of chickens as they run across the street. Chickens, cats, dogs-they all seem to roam free on the island. "What?"


Do you love me?

She looks up at the sky.

How about it? Does Michael love me? I'm not asking for much here. Just one little sign.


She turns and looks at him. He's rubbing his head and looking aggravated.

"What is it?"

"Something hit me"


He bends down and picks up what looks like a large rock. She peers at it. It's some sort of coconut-type thing. "This just fell off some stupid tree and hit me in the head."

"Oh." She looks up at the sky, a smile on her face.


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