Fanfic - Michael/Maria
Part 1
by Behriness
Disclaimer: I don't own or have license to any of these characters or main story lines.
Summary: After Tess takes off, the six remaining conspirators head back home - in more ways than one. The first part in a three part emotional odessey
Category: Michael/Maria
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: This is mostly a fic about the inner thoughts of each couple. Also, it's seperated into three points of view: Max and Liz, Micheal and Maria, and Isabel and Kyle. This is Micheal and Maria's 'perspective'. Also, the story picks up from the very end of Departure.
my car became the church and I
the worshipper of the silence there
in a moment the peace came over me
oh the distance, it makes me uncomfortable

-'Distance', Live

"Why did you come out?" Maria reached up to embrace Micheal's face. She was amazed at what he had done.

"You stayed..You stayed for me." Maria clung to him tightly, savoring the relief she felt. This nightmare was over. He was staying. It felt like a beautiful dream.

From behind her, Maria heard a girl's voice began to speak. It was Isabel.

"What happens now, Max?"

Maria had not even considered it. A few brief moments had passed since Max had left the now detroyed granilith chamber. Those moments had been filled with resolution and tears - at least, for Maria.Standing in front of both her and Micheal, Max looked to the sky. His words were short and to the point.

"I have to save my son."

Max's gaze didn't not waver. He held steadfast, even with Liz close to his side as he had spoken the words. Maria began to study him closely. She felt her stomach turn as she looked towards him. For Max , this was not finished.

There is his son... there is Tess, she reminded herself.

To Maria, resolution now had transformed into an uninvited guest.

Maria pulled into Micheal tighter. She tried to shake off the despair that passed through her. The truth had unfolded itself before her. She felt all her emotions betray her as her inner voice boomed the words into her heart:

This isn't over.

The group had began to move away from the chamber before Maria could say anything about the new revelation. Besides, what can I say? she thought. She felt like she was drowning. It came to an end...just to began again?! The frustration and anxiety filled Maria until she couldn't decide which end was up.

The sun and the lack of sleep made it hard to think. Still holding onto Micheal, Maria made her way towards the jetta. With Max and Liz ahead of them and Isabel and Kyle behind them, each came to a dead stop once they reached the car.

Maria looked around.

"Micheal, where's the jeep?" The absence of the jeep had gone unnoticed until now. Isabel and Max figeted , glancing at each other until Micheal spoke.

"We had to roll it off a cliff." Liz and Kyle studied Micheal intently, anticipating an explaination.

Maria's reaction was that of disbelief. Though with the recent events , she wasn't completely shocked. Micheal was notorious for leaving out vital details. She should've have expected something like this-especially when things between them were going well.

" And why did you roll the Jeep down a cliff?!" Maria found herself saying. She just had to hear this. With everything she was feeling, one more of Micheal's smart coments was all she needed. Sometimes all Micheal had to do was talk to send her over the edge.

"So it would look like we were dead."he explained flatly. Micheal noticed Maria's body language. He realized with his remark that her tone had changed. He could feel the division growing between the two of them.

"Ok. How are the three of you supposed to get back to Roswell?", she asked, the answer obvious to everyone except Maria. Her emotions jumbled, she wasn't thinking. The answer occured to her but before she could say she found the words rolling off of Micheal's lips.

"In the Jetta." The response only aggitated Maria more. She raised her arms outwardly, open at her sides. Everyone knew what was coming. Maria began to rant.

"Six of us are not going to fit in the car, Micheal. Besides, the AC and the radio aren't fixed yet!"

Maria was begining to spiral. He could see it. Everyone could see it. I have to stop her before she burst's into tears - or find's something to throw at me, he thought. Micheal attempted to approached Maria tenderly by turning towards her and looking down into her eyes. With Micheal's own unique brand of sensitivity, he began to speak.

"'We weren't planning a return trip , Maria. Give me the keys and I'll drive home." Maria just stood there. The blank look on her face said it all.

Okay. That didn't work, he concluded. As far as Micheal was concerned, logic (or at least his concept of it) wasn't in Maria's frame of understanding. Nothing stood to reason for her in situations like this. She was going to loose it. The last 24 hours was too much for her to handle.

Maria stood there, tears begining to well,obviously enraged at Micheal's last remark. With Maria at an apparent loss for words, Liz reached out, grasping Maria's arm. The bond of friendship they shared was strong; if anyone could reason with Maria, it was Liz.

Liz strained as she searched for the right words. She began to translate Micheal's words into Maria-ese.

"They had to destroy the jeep. It had to look like an accident. We all have to get back to Roswell before our parents know we're gone. We can't just leave them out here Maria."

Liz knew what was going on inside of her friend probably had little to do with the current transportation problem. Maria often became animated in situations such as these. Liz looked to her friend with understanding. Sometimes that all it took.

She knows me so well , Maria thought. She turned to Micheal, quietly handing him the keys. One after another , the six climbed inside, finding a tighter fit with each added passenger. Maria was the last to enter; still somewhat out-of -sorts. She shut the door, and slung her arm over the window, into the sun. The desert rolled past while Micheal drove down the highway. All of her feelings flashed over her as she thought back to the night before.

The fear. She had forgotten the fear. She had felt it as soon she walked in the door. Micheal stood there presenting her every like detailed into a romantic evening. She knew with something so wonderful (at least where Micheal Guerrin was concerned) that something as equally disasterous was coming.

Disaster should be tattoed on his ass, she noted to herself sarcastically.

Last night, the warmth of his bare chest against her face had felt so natural. There would have been total silence but for that of their hearts' beating. I never knew it could be like that with Micheal...ugh! ... I should have known it couldn't last, she scorned herself. The night had been so passionate. "I love you" rolled so easily from her lips.

"I love you too, but I have to leave." He had said. It felt like her hear had been ripped from her chest. This time he would be leaving for good.

He had ran from her so many times. Unable to let him go, she chased after him . The night had convinced her he was different now. It finally felt like he was making the commitment. She really hadn't expected that he would tell her he was leaving! She knew the day would come - just not today. Any day but today. Please, any day but today!

Endless doubts began to feel her mind. What could I have done or said? There was little time left to spend with him. There was no time to feel betrayed, she convinced herself. Love and disbelief was all she felt as she had laid there with him. It was to be there last moments together. She wanted to remember them passionately. Maria simply wanted to spend that time in his arms. Had he tried to tell her about his plans? If he really wanted to, he would have, she reasoned. He would have stoped us before we went too far. Why did he make love to me and not tell me?

She considered the betrayal. Maria would have made love to Micheal anyway, but dismissed that truth away. That was beside the point. He was home to stay. Something about complete realization left a bitter taste in her mouth. He did stay for me,but why? He was going to leave... before I slept with him, she found herself thinking. True Micheal Guerin style: leave me holding the bag. The honeymoon is sooo over.

Tired and mentally burnt out, her thoughts emassed into an emotional jungle. Unable to think clearly, she laid her head on her arm, closing her eyes. The feeling of the wind blew across her face slowly lulling her to sleep.

As Micheal drove, he too, couldn't escape the events of the past day. When he had met up with Maria at the Crashdown yesterday the urgency in his voice had scared her. The look in her eyes had told him so. It has to be gentle...the way I tell her. She can't handle much more, 'he had thought . The night had exploded into endless passion. He hadn't meant for them to go that far. He couldn't help himself. To look in her eyes- they held the very breath within him. In her arms he was alive. He shared his heart with her. It seemed impossible to tell Maria he was leaving with the wound of Alex's death still fresh.

He attempted to justify his lack of restraint to himself. It was easier to tell her that way...she was so beautiful lying there, he reminiced. She was the most beautiful person he had ever known. The way her eyes danced when she saw him-he knew he was the only one. He had taken her for granted; pushed her away. He had thought she was the last thing in the world he needed. Micheal Guerrin needs no one, he had often convinced himself. When presented with the oppurtunity to go home, he finally realized he was already there. Maria was his home.

He looked over to her now as she slept peacefully. In all the time he knew her, all he had done was disrupt her life. The frustration and guilt he felt over it all pulsed through him. I tried to tell her I was leaving before we was her... she stoped me. The fact was he made love to her knowing he was to going leave. Micheal couldn't even get around that. I did stay. I stayed for Maria. She is home.

Another one of his mistakes had hurt Maria. He had realized he was home almost too late. Bringing Maria to the brink and back again would have it's price. The price would come in resolution.

How can I make this up to her? How can I ease all the pain I have caused? Micheal kept asking himself in torment, staring at the endless road in front of him.

Finally, the resolution came to him from the depths of his soul, whispering.

I will love her for the rest of my life....

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