by Ashleigh Lou
Disclaimer: I own none of this ... not Michael, not Maria, not Our Lady
Summary: Takes place after Maria and Michael conflict in "Skin and Bones" and continues on from there. Michael POV.
Authors Note: This is the first story in my Our Lady Peace/M&M journey. The lyrics are from their first album, Naveed, and is called "Denied."
|MARIA: So, I hear ex-cons are really great in bed.
MICHAEL: I thought we agreed that it was over between us.
MARIA: You agreed, and then you avoided me the entire summer.
MICHAEL: Well, it is.
MARIA: Why? 'Cause you're destined to be with Isabel?
MICHAEL: No. I don't buy that. Because I'm destined to be the soldier, and a soldier can't have some chick at home waiting for him.
MARIA: Michael, half the movies ever made are about soldiers with chicks waiting at home for them.
MICHAEL: Well, be that as it may...
MARIA: I miss you, Michael.
MICHAEL: I know, but don't.
* * * * *
My telephone keeps ringing. It has rang repeatedly all summer. School starts tomorrow. I wonder if it will continue into the fall. I don't answer until the answering machine picks up and then only if it is Max, or Isabel.
I know it is Maria on the line. Sometimes she leaves long, breathless messages that make me wonder why the hell I want to keep away from her. Sometimes she leaves short, straight and to the point messages. Just yesterday I awoke to the sound of her voice yelling, "Michael! PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE ALREADY AND TALK TO ME!" and then a pause. After a few seconds she hung up. I shook my head and tried to go back to sleep.
I walk over and put the phone off the hook.
* * * * *
We have been back in school for 3 days and Maria is in 4 of my classes. Damn. It is hard to pay attention when she sits two seats in front of me. I wonder if she can feel my eyes practically glued to her.
There is still a silent war between Liz and Max. Max's side is asking for peace. Liz's side sees his as the enemy and breaks out the armor. I understand that. I feel a lot like Liz must these days. Strange.
Alex follows Isabel around like a puppy. He loves her, I can sense it from him. She doesn't love him back except as a friend. Alex was the first human friend she had that she could trust. I understand that, too.
I tune back in to the class topic of World War II.
* * * * *
I went out to the desert tonight. Practicing the control of my powers is like homework. I have been working with Tess on them. I can't say I particularly like Tess. Often she seems whiny, controlling, bitchy and selfish. It isn't a fabricated appearance, either, she really is all those things. But I feel a natural kinship with her. There are only three other beings remotely like me on this spinning ball and she is one.
My project this evening was to learn to mold large objects together into one. Two rocks, heavy and oddly shaped, sat fifteen feet in front of me, waiting. It took everything I had to push them together the two feet they sat apart. After a fifteen minute break I was able to fuse them together slightly. Feeling discouraged, Tess reminded me: "Michael, this is all about building your abilities! Once you do it once the process will speed up. We're testing your limits."
We called it a night, hiding the massive rock in the pod chambers. I'm surprised we made it there, considering the weight of that damn thing.
It was a beautiful night. I stayed out in the desert long after Tess left, staring out the sky. I wondered if my own mother was still alive on our planet, and if she and Max and Isabel's mother were friends. I wondered if I had anyone else there at all. When I got home I had three messages from Maria.
"Let it go," I said to the answering machine.
* * * * *
I blew up the TV set today in the back of the Crashdown.
I couldn't control myself; it was a 'slip of the hand,' one might say. It all started when Maria came in and began badgering me about our relationship.
"I left messages"
"You love me"
"I love you"
Bits and pieces were all I heard. Suddenly I was in Maria's mouth, my tongue probing hers fiercely and all I could think about was throwing her down and making love to her on the table in the back.
I had lost control.
I couldn't lose control. Not now, not ever.
I pushed her away, maybe a little too hard. The next thing I knew she ran out the door and into the girls' bathroom.
I turned my head and threw my hands up and the next thing I saw were the flames coming from the TV set. I stared at it, amazed, before grabbing a fire extinguisher.
* * * * *
Within two days I had the two rocks into an almost-square shape. I had no idea what to do with it. It was fairly large, more than a foot on each side. It weighed a hell of a lot more than something of that size normally would, due to the form of rock it was made from.
I wish Nasedo were still alive. I know nothing more than what Tess tells me. I want to know.
* * * * *
I found myself standing outside her house tonight.
I didn't realize where I was going until I was there, looking through her curtains and seeing her change into her nightgown. Usually the mere thought of seeing her naked arouses me. Tonight it was different, comforting -- it proved that she was human and that I could touch her ... if I wanted. And I needed someone to touch.
I resisted the urge.
I can't get away from her.
* * * * *
Last night after the Crashdown closed, she grabbed the broom and began sweeping while I cleaned the grill. She looked up and said, "You know, I don't need you."
"But I sure as hell want you."
I looked up, amazed by this girl. "Well."
She looked expectantly.
"I guess you're out of luck there. I told you -- I can't be with you. I have to fight now."
"What the hell are you fighting for?" she yelled angrily, throwing the broom to the floor.
"I don't know yet," I told her. "I was sent here for a reason. I have to live for that reason only."
Once again, I was lying to her.
God knows what I was truly living for.
|Index | Part 2
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