I rolled them around in my hand, feeling their smooth contours, hearing the clacking noise they made as they struck each other. These meant a lot to me. And to Max and Izzy. And they wanted me to have them. It was their silent plea to stay. Because without Max and Izzy these stones were useless to me. But that wasn't all that was bothering me.

I hadn't said goodbye to Maria. It was a pretty cold thing to do considering the fact that she was maybe the one human in the entire world who cared if I lived or died. She's proven it to me so many times. By letting me kidnap her to Marathon when she could have told that cop everything and gotten me arrested. By letting me kiss her that first time in the Crash Down, and so many times since. By letting me make love to her that night during the heat wave. By forgiving me after I broke up with her, and helping save my life that night in the cave with River Dog. By keeping the napkin holder I made for her. By trusting me enough to come to me when she thought she was pregnant. And most recently, by letting me into her room and her heart last night, drying my tears and holding me close until I fell asleep.

She's given everything she has to me, and how do I repay her? I run out without saying goodbye. I am such a loser. Why does she even care about me? I can't figure it out. And I want to let her love me. Because I care about her so much. But I don't know how to let it happen. So maybe it's better if I just go.

The stupid guy is babbling about why Roswell sucks. Like he needs to tell me. I look out the window, and somehow the night seems darker than ever. My heart feels cold. He just keeps talking, and I try to block it out. Until he says something which catches my attention. "Trust me, there ain't nothing in that town."

I don't respond, but it gets me thinking. About her. And I want to say to him, no, man, you're dead wrong. There is a spunky little blond with a voice like an angel and lips made for kissing in that town. And for some reason she wants me. God help her, she wants me, even though I keep hurting her and pushing her away.

And that was what did it. Made me realize that I don't deserve her, especially the way I've treated her, but I want to. I want to be that guy she can turn to when she's upset or happy. I want to be the one to put sweet smiles on her face and wipe her tears away. I want to prove to her that I care about her as much as she cares about me. I love her as much as she loves me. I put the rocks back in the sack and turn to the driver.

"Hey, can you drop me off at the corner up here? I forgot something."

The guy looks at me funny, but he pulls over. "Are you sure?" he asks, knowing that I've changed my mind about leaving.

"Yeah. I'm sure. I have some stuff to take care of. But thanks anyway." He nods and pulls away. I start to walk back towards the Evans' house. I have to straighten my life out before I'm ready to be with Maria. But my decision is made. I will prove to her that I love her. I will get my life back on track. And the first step is talking to Mr. Evans about that Independent minor thing Isabel was talking about. Once I can take care of myself, I can start to think about taking care of Maria too. Because it's what I want to do.

I look around the dark streets of Roswell as I walk through the center of town. My heart is no longer cold. And the night doesn't seem as dark. Because I have finally admitted to myself how much I need her. I will have to work hard to make things right, but I am going to do it. Because I know what I have to look forward to. Maria. And she chases away the darkness.

~~~~~

Darkness- Third Eye Blind

Blue come over
Born a Joneser
And the cops roll out the radar
And shoot devious grins
Another day begins
I want someone to know me

Maybe tell who I am
Cause I've faced down my demons
And cried out to a god
A God I've never seen

And the world darkens around me
Strange friends all surround me
New ideas in my head start to burn
Dropped out of school cause of things I never learned
And the world darkens around me
World darkens around me

I want you to love me
Like you did before you knew me
And I never thought there'd be any help
For somebody like me
A vacancy

And the world darkens around me
Strange friends all surround me
New ideas in my head start to burn
Trust no one that's the one thing that I've learned
And the world darkens around me
World darkens around me