Fanfic - Michael/Maria
"Chasing Hope"
Part 28
by Candy Doris
Disclaimer: The characters are not ours, just the creative circumstances in this particular fanfic came from our minds.
Summary: All our favorite characters are chasing every sense of the word. When the aliens leave to follow destiny, their earthling counterparts are forced to follow a destiny of their own with Hope being their only guidance. But what happens when the past and future, destiny and hope blend together and the future becomes past and the hope becomes destiny?
Category: Michael/Maria
Rating: R
Author's Note: There are two imaginations behind this fanfic. One in California, one in Florida. A chance meeting empowered us to work together, each using our individual talents of editing and writing, respectively, and ultimately taking the first steps in achieving our dreams. Please let us know what you think. (Your conscious will eat you alive until you do!) Please copy both of us at the following email address: &
"No, Sir," Lupe argued. "Marianna has asked to be left alone today."

Michael lifted his hand and caught the door that Lupe attempted to close. "Just ask her if she'll see me," he pleaded.

Lupe shook her head. "The lady has instructed me to turn away all visitors."

"Please," Michael asked again. "I think if she knows I am here..."

These were the times that Lupe hated her job more than ever. Obsessed fans always trying to get through. "Sir, she doesn't want to see anybody..."

Michael slammed his hand against the door "She...she doesn't want to see anyone? No! No, no, no!!! She already turned away from me once, and I'll be damned if she does it again."

Michael saw the look in Lupe's face and realized she was about to close the door any second. "Who could blame her?" Michael thought. It seemed that his juvenile nature always surfaced whenever he was near Maria. He calmed his voice and pleaded with Lupe. "Listen, I didn't mean to sound like an ogre, I just want...I need to talk to her. I won't leave away unless..."

"Listen sir, Marianna can't attend you right now and if you don't leave I'm going to be forced to call..."

"It's okay, Lupe," Maria interrupted from behind.

"I'm sorry, Marianna. He's very persistent," Lupe apologized for the disruption.

"I was awake anyway. It's okay," Maria said moving toward the door. "Can you make sure that Dr. Guerin and I speak privately?" Maria asked knowing that Lupe would understand what she meant.

"I'll go check on Hope," Lupe acknowledged her understanding as she excused herself to go upstairs.

"Thanks," Maria said. She turned her face to look at her visitor. She figured that eventually he would show up...or call...or maybe stop by in a dream. Apparently he'd perfected Max's talent for healing, so she assumed he'd also perfected Isabel's. She'd had a few days to prepare for the moment, but all the lines she'd rehearsed left her memory. "Dr. Guerin," she spoke not knowing what else to say.

"Can I come in?" Michael asked.

Maria stood back and extended her arm to welcome him into her living room. "Some nerve," she thought. "You've got some nerve, Mr. You didn't ask if you could violate my emotions while I was unable to see you. Nope. Instead, you opted against revealing your true identity. So why ask now? If you want something, you just take it," Maria thought. She was still holding a grudge at Michael for not telling her right away who he truly was.

"Thanks," Michael whispered walking into the apartment. He took a seat on the couch.

Maria chuckled to herself. "Go ahead, make yourself at home," she thought. As angry as she was, when Maria looked at Michael for the first time in eight years, she couldn't help but remember all the reasons she had fallen in love with him. He looked as handsome as she remembered, but wiser somehow. Tiny lines hugged his hazel eyes and his unruly hair was parted and combed. He walked with more confidence than he had so many years ago, but she still recognized a degree of uncertainty in his face.

Maria moved to the recliner positioned next to the couch and looked at Michael. She'd dreamed of seeing him again. But she'd planned for their meeting to be much more passionate and romantic. The tension in the air choked Maria and she struggled to speak.

Finally, Michael broke the silence.

"You look nice," he complimented. Maria did not answer. He shifted uncomfortably and looked everywhere but at Maria. He fidgeted and even started playing with the cushion just to give his hands something to do. "Man, we are not starting out on the right foot," he thought.

Eventually, he brought himself to look at her. And time stopped. For a moment, he forgot about all that had happened. She was still beautiful, she was a still a vibrator, and she still held so much emotion in her eyes. "Her eyes," he thought as he allowed himself to be captivated by her stunning eyes. In the hospital, her eyes had been swollen shut and bruised. He had not truly been able to see eyes, but now he saw them clearly. They revealed unmistakable pain. So much vulnerability, but just as much anger. "Anger!" he thought as he came back to his senses.

He took the initiative to break the silence again. "I know you must be angry."

"Ya dang right!" Maria thought to herself. She decided to let him finish before interrupting.

"And...and Maria I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I'm really sorry for not telling you that I was your doctor. I know a simple apology doesn't cut it, but..." Michael stopped while he searched for the right words. "Listen, I... when you first came were so fragile and so weak, I didn't even know it was you. But I felt something, Maria. Something only you could have awoken in me." He paused before going on. "I never told you before, but in when we were in high school, you gave me these vibes. Do you remember the vibes?"

Maria still did not answer.

"Well, anyway," Michael continued. "Later on, when I knew that Marianna was Maria--you--I understood where the vibes where coming from. The first emotion I felt was joy. And you know why, Maria? Because it was you. You had been gone for so long, and I...I had been missing hope for so long. And then after all that darkness, I could finally see sunshine again. I could see you, and suddenly I knew that everything would be all right...because you were alive. Because it meant there was hope in my life again."

Maria sat quietly listening.

Michael knew her silence meant she was still angry. "Max was really upset, too. He's still not over it," Michael spoke trying to console Maria. He wanted to let her know that she was not the only one who had been lied to by Liz and Alex.

"Max?" Maria thought. "Why would Max get that upset over Michael's mistake?"

Michael continued. "We really need to be able to forgive and forget...move past this and get on with our lives...if that's possible. Isabel is fuming with Alex. And pretty much everybody's angry with Liz right now and..."

Maria couldn't stand it any longer. It sounded like Michael was trying to pass the buck and refuse to take responsibility for his own actions. "Liz?" she asked. "Why would I be angry at Liz?"

"Well," Michael began confused. "Because," he stumbled. "Well, she lied to everyone. She told us you died, Maria."

"Michael, I told her to!" Maria defended her friend.

"What?" Michael shouted. "You told her.."

"Yes!" Maria broke in. "I told her and Alex," her head began to ache from the sheer stress that had suddenly attacked. Maria looked down and focused on remaining calm. "I asked Liz and Alex that if any of you ever came back to tell you that I had...died. I wanted to start a new person. A new person who didn't have to worry about people leaving her." Maria stopped and looked into Michael's eyes. "It took me a really long time, Michael, a really long time..."

"Liz did say that," Michael said. His initial anger began to subside as he focused on the possibility of him and Maria being together again. He decided he couldn't let another opportunity pass him by. He decided there was no time to waste. He needed to let Maria know how he felt all those years ago...and how he still felt. He knew both of them would one day be able to move past the anger and lies, but he needed to try his best to get her back in his life right now...before anymore precious minutes could pass them by. "But you... it took me a really long time, too....when I thought you had died." He murmured.

" I never expected," Maria began. "I never thought you would come back." Maria looked at Michael and felt sorry for her decision.

"I know," Michael said. "To be honest, I didn't think I'd be coming back either." He smiled at Maria. "I hoped. I lived each day on Antar hoping I would have the chance to come you. And then when I finally did," Michael looked down. "You were gone."

"Michael, I..." Maria said as tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't want to feel guilty about her decision, but each word from Michael's mouth made her wish she'd never let him go so easily.

"I wanted to be a new person, too," Michael said not allowing Maria to disturb his train of thought. He needed to tell her. "So, I left Roswell. I graduated from UCLA." Michael laughed with disbelief. "I was cum laude." He raised his right hand to verify the truth of his next statement. "No magic. I swear." He dropped his smile and reached for Maria's hand. "I wanted to make sure that no one ever had to suffer the kind of loss I did when you..."

Through blurry eyes, Maria looked at the hand that Michael held. She shook her head and breathed heavily. "I had no idea," she said. "Max told me that you and Isabel never..."

"No," Michael stopped her. "Isabel's a great person, but...she could never..." Michael lifted Maria's face and spoke firmly to reinforce his feelings for her. "She could never be you."

Maria dropped her face onto Michael's shoulder. He smelled exactly the same and her face still fit nicely above his collar bone. She felt his arm encircle her and his hand rest against the back of her head. "How could he forgive me so easily?" she thought.

"Because I never stopped loving you," Michael answered Maria's thoughts.

Maria pulled away in astonishment and stared at Michael questioningly with her brow wrinkled. She was certain she had not spoken her thoughts out loud.

Michael nodded his head to one side and presented a crooked smile. "I learned a couple of new tricks," he explained. He took Maria's hand again and spoke plainly. "I've thought about this since I found out...Maria, I want us to be together. I've missed you." Michael smile worked to convince Maria. "Maria. I want you in my life again. I know this is a lot to ask after all that has.... Heck, even I am surprised by what I'm about to ask. Especially considering that, after eight years, we hardly know each other. But my heart knows and my conscience concedes," Michael spoke softly and sincerely. "Let's just forget all this, Maria," he pleaded. Years of dreaming were finally coming true; he was standing in front of the women he loved, offering her a future. And this time, he wasn't afraid.

"I know that I made a lot of mistake all those years ago, but believe me when I say that I've paid a thousand times the price of an utterly pseudo happiness away from your side," Michael spoke honestly as he placed his heart on the line. He figured he had very little to risk. As it was, he was alone. If Maria rejected him, he could be no worse off. But he had to make an honest effort to win her back. He breathed heavily and anxiously waited for Maria's reply.

When she didn't answer, he went one. "I lost you once before, Maria, and I just can't let that happen again. Let's forget all of this. Maria, I want to be with you again. And this time, there shall be no restrictions. We could finally love each other without obstacles...and make a family."

Maria lifted her head to be sure the person speaking was still Michael. "A family?" she asked.

Michael chuckled. "Yes. A family, Maria. I know you have a daughter...I met her already in the hospital. She's a chip off of the old block." Michael lowered his smile and looked very seriously at Maria. "I want us to be a family. You, Me, and Hope."

Maria looked at Michael with astonishment. She was at a loss of words.

Michael realized Maria must surely need to moment to think while the proposition he presented sunk in. When he felt she'd had long enough, or rather when he couldn't wait any longer, he reiterated his statement. "I want to have a family, Maria."

Maria was so happy, she didn't consider the consequences of what she was about to tell Michael. "But you do, Michael," Maria choked between tears. "You already have a family," she smiled naively. "Hope." Maria sighed, "Hope is your daughter"

Michael's smile faded and he dropped Maria's hand. Slowly his brow became wrinkled and his mouth opened out of incredulity as he attempted to process the suggestion Maria had presented. He tried to speak, but a million questions crowded his mind, each demanding to be the first. Skepticism moved in and took over. "How is that even possible?" Michael asked refusing to believe Maria.

Maria hadn't expected that kind of reaction. She assumed Michael would be overjoyed with the news that he already had the family he so desperately wanted. "She's seven, Michael. Hope was born eight months after you left."

Michael stood up and walked toward the kitchen. He was overwhelmed by the reality of what Maria suggested. He reached the kitchen entrance way and turned back around and walked into the living room. He walked to the base of the stairway and back to toward the kitchen. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at the ceiling as he continued to walk back and forth.

Michael's behavior worried Maria. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm freaking out," Michael answered continuing to pace.

"You?" Maria asked sarcastically.

Michael stopped pacing and looked at Maria. He could not believe her audacity. "First I find out you're alive and now you tell me I have a daughter...Gosh, Maria! How do you expect me to react? Even if you didn't want me anymore, you should have at least allowed me to know my own daughter."

He looked at a framed picture on the coffee table of Maria, Hope and Alex opening Christmas presents. "Look at all I've missed!" He shouted and picked up the photo. "That should be me," he said pointing to Alex.

Maria was hurt. She did want Michael back. She'd wanted him back since he left, but she still needed to defend Alex's presence in her life. If Alex had not been there, she doubted she could have made it through Michael leaving. "Alex has really been there for me."

"Well, that's great, Maria, but you should have given me the chance to be that person! I could have been the one who was there for you...and Hope," Michael said countering the pain Maria made clear she felt. He spoke honestly and expected Maria to understand he was hurting just as much as she was.

"I needed stability, Michael. You couldn't give me that," Maria blurted. The conversation was not going at all as she had planned. She never expected Michael to become angry. She expected him to be elated. Maria had never been the kind of person to lay down and take his crap from anybody. She certainly was not about to begin that day. She didn't want to hurt Michael, but she expected him to understand why she made the decision she did.

"You never gave me a shot," Michael argued. Each word from Maria's mouth clarified her feelings for him. Michael assumed there were no feelings anymore. He realized too much time had passed for them to reconcile, but he was not about to give up an opportunity to know his daughter.

"You had your shot...and you chose to leave," Maria jabbed.

"I had responsibilities, Maria," Michael punched back.

"You had responsibilities here, too," Maria said referring to Hope.

"How could I have known?!" he shouted with disbelief at Maria's lack of understanding.

"I didn't know that you were back Michael!!!! How was I to tell you about your daughter if I didn't know that you were back???" Maria debated.

"But you made that decision, Maria. You knew perfectly well that there was still a chance we might be back. And what did you do? You decided to fake your own death, Maria. Not caring about the hearts you might destroy. Not caring that your lies would...kill me. For so long I felt dead, Maria. Dead. Do you have any idea what it's like to feel that way?" Michael argued.

"Michael, if one of us has felt dead before, it has been me." Maria spoke lowering her eyelids and glaring at Michael. "Don't presume to tell me that I don't know what feeling dead is about. Let me refresh your memory and remind you that you left first, Michael." Maria was nearly screaming. Talking to Michael caused her to quickly transition from a state of calm to a mode of near-hyperventalation in a matter of seconds. "Maria died when you walked out eight years ago. I asked Liz to tell you I had died before I knew Hope was on the way," Maria explained again.

"Doesn't matter, Maria. When you learned about Hope, you should have revoked your decision. How could you make a decision like that to keep me out of my own daughter's life? Who gave you the right? She is as much mine as she is yours," Michael fought to make his intentions clear. He intended to have Hope in his life.

"No, she's not!" Maria shouted. "She doesn't know you! She doesn't love you!" Maria regretted saying the words before they even came out of her mouth. She didn't honestly mean them, but she wanted to hurt Michael the way he was hurting her. "She's my daughter. I've raised her."

"Well, that's going to change," Michael said firmly. "Regardless of how you feel about me, I have rights." Michael walked toward the apartment door and opened it. He turned and offered Maria one last forewarning before leaving. "I will spend time with my daughter, whether you approve or not."

Part 27 | Index | Part 29
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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