Fanfic - Michael/Maria
"Chasing Hope"
Part 1
by Candy Doris
Disclaimer: The characters are not ours, just the creative circumstances in this particular fanfic came from our minds.
Summary: All our favorite characters are chasing every sense of the word. When the aliens leave to follow destiny, their earthling counterparts are forced to follow a destiny of their own with Hope being their only guidance. But what happens when the past and future, destiny and hope blend together and the future becomes past and the hope becomes destiny?
Category: Michael/Maria
Rating: R
Author's Note: There are two imaginations behind this fanfic. One in California, one in Florida. A chance meeting empowered us to work together, each using our individual talents of editing and writing, respectively, and ultimately taking the first steps in achieving our dreams. Please let us know what you think. (Your conscious will eat you alive until you do!) Please copy both of us at the following email address: &
"Maria, please. Try to understand," Michael pleaded.

"Understand what, Michael?" Maria nearly yelled refusing to look at him as she stacked more dishes into the sink. The Crashdown's kitchen was closed, but there were a few people still finishing their dinners in the dining area. "Understand that you are leaving me because of what some dead, long-gone, excuse me, hologram...said in a half-century old message-in-a-bottle gag? Michael, Liz may be sold on the whole destiny thing, but I am not." Maria composed herself and turned to speak rationally to Michael. She reasoned, "Do you want to be with Isabel? If you say you do, I'll accept defeat and move on. I'll know you're happy. But if you stand her now and tell me you are with her because of destiny...well, I just can't accept that."

Michael looked nervously at the small crowd still in the restaurant. Lowering his voice to a whisper he tried to explain, "Maria, my destiny is all I know. It's what I've been searching for since..."

"Destiny Smestiny," Maria cut him off. "Do you want to be with Isabel?" she asked sternly looking directly into his eyes.

Under normal circumstances, Michael would have blurted out his answer without thinking. "Of course not!" But this time he took a long breath and carefully considered his response to Maria's pressing question. He feared leaving Maria thinking he may one day return from their battle on Antar. He was as unsure about that as he was his feeling for Isabel. He loved Isabel. But he considered her a sister and Max a brother. He was unsure of his capability to love Isabel beyond that capacity. However, no uncertainty was present when he considered the blue-eyed girl before him. She gave him hope and encouragement. She trusted him completely. And even though they fought, a lot, he never once felt her lose faith in him. Their arguments were what he figured the world called lovers' spats - simply a bump in the road the pair would conquer together.

Michael loved Maria. Simply. And because he did, he knew in his heart that she deserved more than he could offer. She deserved something concrete. She deserved happiness. The last thing Michael wanted was to see the love of his life wasting her existence by hanging on to his return...a return he wasn't sure would even occur. Michael knew that if he told her he wanted to ignore his destiny and be with her, then she would wait for him to return. His life on Earth had not been the easiest and there was little he valued on the planet. But he treasured Maria. He refused to allow her to desecrate her life for him. He said the only thing that he knew would let her move on without him. "I think I do. I want to be with Isabel, Maria. She can give me all that I've ever hoped for, and more." It pained Michael to say these words. A part of his spirit died the minute he forged the words. In his heart, he knew the words weren't true and never would be. Maria had actually already given him more he'd ever hoped. For that reason, he could not let her destroy her life. He loved her too much.

Maria nodded her head looking at the floor. She returned to the waiting sink of dishes and picked up a dishcloth. She struggled to process the millions of thoughts that crowded her head. "Why now?" she thought. "Why after all this time has he suddenly decided to follow his destiny with Isabel. I mean, he's leaving for Antar this afternoon. He could just leave, pursue a relationship with her, and I would never be any the wiser. It doesn't make sense. Besides, if he has known all along that I could never give him what Isabel apparently can, then why has he bothered giving me false hope for all this time? Surely he's not that cruel. But then again, if what he is saying is true, then Isabel is likely the one who actually played the biggest role in knocking his stonewall down. I guess I was just lucky enough to have been there to witness his changes and know the stronger person revealed when he finally dropped his shields. No, I refuse to believe that!"

Maria dropped the dishcloth and grabbed for a nearby towel to wipe the suds from her hands. She looked up at Michael and sadly offered one last hope. "If your plan is set and you have made up your mind, then why are you here? Why are you asking me to understand when it really doesn't matter if I approve or disapprove? You've made up your mind. So, why are you here?"

Michael took a few steps back to lean against the counter. He did not know how to answer. In his head he screamed, "Tell me not go. Tell me to stay and I will." But he knew that Maria would never say that. She accepted him for what he was...a soldier with a mission. After staring at his feet for the longest time, he finally looked up to reveal glassy eyes and one final message. "I love you." He tried to smile though his voice cracked with pain and tiny blue veins appeared at his temples telling of his struggle to fight the rush of emotions. The battle he faced, between his heart and his destiny, was harsher than he imagined any great war on Antar could ever be.

As much as Maria wanted to wrap her arms around the man before her, she knew that any further time spent with him would only result in more pain and torture. "Just go," she whispered turning to resume washing the stack of dirty dishes loaded in the sink. She loved him. She loved him more and longer than he would ever know. When Maria heard the kitchen door swing closed, she rushed to the order window to watch him leave. Tears began stinging her eyes as Michael's final words rang louder and louder in her head. She wanted to scream out to tell him she loved him, beg him not to go. But Michael was nearly as bull-headed as she and Maria had exhausted all efforts. Experiences with her absent father had led her to accept the fact that in the end men leave. Despite reason, despite tears, despite desperate begging, men leave. "I won't let him see me cry," she thought. "I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing he is capable of hurting me like this." Instead she steadied her expression just in time for one last look from Michael as he pushed the glass doors. He would never know that his last look opened wounds in her soul miles deep.

Maria knew for years that this day would come. She knew that one day her prince charming would ride off into the sunset. But her version of the story included him returning from his long and tiring journey and waking her from slumber with a kiss. But fairy tales never came true in Roswell. He wasn't coming back. Not to her.

"Maria?" Liz spoke from the back door.

Maria turned quickly and saw her best friend in much the same condition as she. "They're gone," Maria breathed.

Liz answered only by nodding her head. Her bottom lip began to quiver as she took a step towards Maria. The two hurriedly embraced comforting each other and letting tears flow uninhibitedly.

"That's the second time," Maria sobbed. "That's the second time he's told me he loved me and left."

Index | Part 2
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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