FanFic - Michael/Maria
"Breaking Free From Loss of Liberty"
Part 7
by Calie
Disclaimer: Roswell, the characters, and situations are owned by the WB. No infringement intended.
Category: Michael/Maria
Rating: PG-13
Michael stood with his back against the door to his apartment, he didn't even bother to reach his hand over to turn on the lights. It was nicer in the dark. After two hours of searching for Maria the chase was given up. Searching after midnight would be bound to look suspicious. He let out a defeated sigh and began to move through his quite apartment. The immediate light that emanated from the lamp took him by surprise and he spun around quickly. Only he didn't find what he was expecting. Never would he have expected to find

Maria sitting on his couch holding her knees against her chests. Her chin rested on her arms, and he could see her eyes burning into him, waiting.

"Maria what are you doing here?"

"I don't know." Maria said softly. "Sitting here."

"No, why are you here in my apartment?" Michael asked more precisely.

Maria cringed at the confrontational tone in his voice, but answered. "I refuse to go home. And since I just ran from Liz's that was out of the question. I don't have too many friends anymore."

"What makes you think I am your friend?" Michael asked her. He was going to push for what he wanted to know.

Maria winced and tried to control the tears that where welling up in her eyes. "Nothing. I just didn't have anywhere else to go." Maria said softly and buried her head deeper behind her arms, but she could still see him over her arms. "And-." Maria stopped unable to force the words passed her mouth. It made it seem liked she wanted something from him.

"What?" Michael asked evenly. He wanted an answer. "You're here at my apartment, I want answers."

"I don't know. It just seemed safe here." Maria said softly.

Michael moved over towards Maria slowly, and she didn't try to move, but she seemed to curl up more as if she was cowering from him. He grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her up so that she was eye to eye with him. Her weight hung in mid air, she didn't even try to balance herself. "Look at me." Michael ordered her. But her eyes where still downcast. "Look at me!" he yelled angrily.

Maria whimpered and forced herself to look up into his eyes. She had partly obeyed him because of the angry tone in his voice, and the brutal grip he had on her arms. Gone now was all of her defenses and tactics of deceiving. She had been laid out like an open book to the three aliens. And it was by her own doing.

"How do you feel?" Michael asked through gritted teeth.

Maria winced and bit on her lip and his hands tightened painfully on her arms.

"Maria answer me!" Michael yelled and shook her.

Maria felt her chin began to quiver and tears begin to form in her eyes. "Hurt." she said in a small voice.

"And do you like it? That doesn't compare to what you put us through." His voice was low and angry and when he said the words he had pulled her roughly against his chest.

"I'm sorry." Maria cried and shook her head. It was all she could think of to say.

Michael let out an exasperated breath and dropped her on the sofa. He walked a couple of feet away from the sofa then stopped and turned around. She laid right where he had dropped her. Michael rubbed his forehead in deep thought.

Everything inside of him was conflicting right now, and it was driving him crazy. Max could believe the vision, Isabel could will herself to heal Maria's self inflicted scars. But he couldn't bring himself to any thing that represented forgiveness or any kind of trust in her. And deep down all he wanted to do was forget it and hold her. That's how strong his emotions where. But then there was that voice continuously telling him that she lied and hurt them.

Once Maria was able to control the crying, she tried to control her emotions.

But it did little. And the only thing she could decide on was that she needed to be alone. She pushed her weak body up off of the couch and stood up unsteadily. She only glanced at him, and noticed the cautious gaze that was on her. Maria let out a shaky sigh and began to move towards the door. Just as she seemed to be getting close Michael appeared in front of her and grabbed her by her arms once again. But only with a slight grip this time. "Where are you going?"

Maria had to force the words from her mouth. "I don't know." And it was the truth. She had no where she belonged anymore.

Michael felt Maria's legs give out beneath her, and the light grip he had on her arms didn't hold as she felt towards the floor. He quickly wrapped his arms around her waste and pulling her to his chest. Michael cringed as he felt her body pressed up against his. He hadn't been able to hold her in so long, let alone really touch her. He knew she hadn't passed out, because he could still hear her crying, although muffled by his chest now, but she still hung there limply. Michael let his arms hang loosely around Maria, afraid to touch her to much. Michael shut his eyes and winced at the inner battle going on inside of him. A sigh of resolution escaped his lips and he tightened his hold on Maria pulling her further up his body.

It hadn't been quite the reaction she had expected. Maria had expected Michael to allow her to leave. Maybe even something mean as she passed. He wasn't exactly the guy to go to for comfort, or kind words, he was rather blunt with his feelings. So that's why when she felt his arms tighten around her and pull her up she was taken by surprise. But she didn't even dream of pulling away. She wanted to say something to him, but fear of it pushing him away stopped her. Being in his arms brought on a familiar feeling. Before they had taken and her secret was hidden, her relationship with him had been close and physical. And they could go for just moments holding each other silently. This reminded her of those few precious moments. Of course they hadn't held quite so much tension and despair, but it felt comforting still.

"I want to feel yours." Maria said softly.

Michael let go of Maria and stepped back. "What?"

"I want to feel what you felt? Like you saw my life and how it hurt. I want to see yours." Maria told him evenly.

"No, Maria, I am not going to show you my life. You freaked out enough having to relive your own." Michael said to her. But she didn't budge, and he could see the determination on her face.

"No. At least let me see what I did to you." Maria pleaded with him. "I need to know what I did. I have to feel the pain that I caused. Michael please." Maria said and stepped towards him.

Michael looked at her cautiously. "You want to feel it don't you?" Michael asked with realization.

"Michael I did it to you. I have to feel it. Please." Maria said again.

Michael backed away from her but felt the wood of the door connect with his back. She was starting to scare him. But she seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Maria, what the hell is wrong with you." Michael paused only for a moment. "You think you deserve it don't you? To feel the pain that we felt." She didn't answer him, but he knew it was the truth. "No, Maria."

"You're mad at me remember? Don't you won't to put me through what you felt?"

Maria asked him, hoping to push him to the point of doing it. Hoping that when he did that he would believed she had hurt enough.

"No, I already saw your life. You were put through enough Maria."

"No!" Maria yelled. "You have to!" Maria looked at him reassuringly. "That way then you won't be mad anymore because I will have hurt like you had."

Michael wished he could back up farther. But she practically had him nailed to the door. It took all that Michael had to tell himself that he was in control of this situation. Maria was the one losing it right now, not him. His feet where still planted firmly on the ground. She seemed to be someplace not here. He stepped away from the door and grabbed her arm gently.

"Maria, no. You are not going to feel anymore. And no matter how much you think you deserve to feel more pain, I don't think you do." Michael truly believed it. He had never had any intention of paying Maria back for what she had done.

"But you're still mad." Maria's voice cracked hallway though the short statement but she forced the tears back.

"Of course I'm mad Maria. So what. I get mad all the time, sooner or later I'll get over it." Michael told her. Michael looked at her deeply for a moment then spoke. "Maria how do you do this?"

"Do what?" Maria asked and for a moment she was more confused by his question then anything else happening around her.

"I have seen so many sides of you now I am really starting to get confused." Michael admitted to her.

"Me too." Maria agreed.

"What do you mean 'you to'? You of all people should know who the real you is."

"I thought I did. But now, now everything is different. That version of me at the facility wasn't the real me, at least I hope not. And what you thought of as me," Maria shook her head sadly, "that was me, but I can't be that person anymore, everything has changed. And now, now everything seems changed for the worst. Roswell isn't the same to me, my own house isn't as welcoming, and I don't know who to trust anymore. I think whatever I was before is changed now." Maria paused and looked up at him intently. For a moment her unsureness was gone and she felt more bold. Because she wasn't concentrating on herself anymore, she was thinking of him. "Are you different? Are you changed?"

Of course he was changed. Maybe not on the outside. He still held the same cold demeanor. Even more now. But in the inside he was changed. He was no longer empty searching for home. He was hurt and broken on the inside, and desperate for anyway to take the pain away. He didn't tell her that though.

Instead he moved past her and took a seat on his sofa.

Maria released a defeated sigh and moved towards the door once again. She knew this time he wouldn't stop her. And she was almost disappointed. Maria put little strength into turning the knob, but she didn't move.

Michael sat there silently, waiting for her to move. Moments passed and she still didn't budge. He watched her through the corner of his eyes and saw the slight jumping of her He watched her through the corner of his eyes and saw the slight jumping of her shoulders as she cried silently with her head down.

Michael looked ahead and squeezed his eyes shut as a turmoil of emotions took over him. Unsurely he lifted up his left arm and wrapped it around her shoulders pulling her near him.

Maria didn't even stop to think as she felt herself come in contact with Michael. She immediately curled up and laid her head on his chest. Maria felt the warm breath coming from Michael, and her eyes shut as she felt his lips leave a tender kiss on her forehead. She didn't dare move now, and she clung to his shirt in fear that she would be ripped away from him. Michael didn't release her either, he kept his arm wrapped firmly around. It was the first time in what seemed her whole life that her future seemed the least bit brighter.

Part 6 | Index
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
Crashdown is maintained by and . Design by Goldenboy.
Copyright © 1999-2004 Web Media Entertainment.
No infringement intended.