|"And Then the Tears Came"
by Lady Lioness
Disclaimer: As for most of my writing, the characters
|She stared at him, stunned into uncharacteristic silence by what he had just
He stood against the wall, in front of the window. There was a full moon tonight and the moonlight streamed through the window, falling on his face, giving him a fallen angel appearance. She opened her mouth a few times, before finally saying, "Are you sure? I mean, pregnant? How...how do you know?"
He hunched his shoulders and everything about him screamed his desire to run. But he stayed. His dark eyes remained fixed on hers as he said,
"We, um, we started having these dreams, Izzy and me. You know, the kind of dreams, where-"
Her hand flew up in an effort to get him to stop talking. She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded for him to continue.
"Izzy's usually, um, you know, regular. Except this month...she hasn't...you know."
She kept her eyes closed, trying to fight back the tears. She knew. She had suspected it for the past couple of weeks, had always feared this in the back of her mind and heart. But she still had to ask.
"Are you sure it's yours?"
He watched the reactions fly across her face. Each one hurt him more than the last. He forced himself to keep watching.
"Yeah. I'm, um, the only possibility."
Her body jerked as if she had just been hit. She whirled around and faced away from him, covering her face with her hands, still refusing to cry. He felt helpless.
Part of him knew that it would work out better this way. His responsibilty to Isabel and the baby wouldn't keep him tied to Earth. But if Maria got pregnant...he let his eyes drift shut for a moment, as he pictured her smiling up at him, her stomach rounded. He groaned as a wave of longing shot through him. The other parts of him wanted to sweep her away, to hide so no one could find them. He wanted to keep her by him forever, to use her light to banish his shadows. He wanted to feel her skin against his before he went to bed at night. He wanted her face to be the first thing he saw when he woke up. He wanted...
"Does Alex know?" Her voice invaded his thoughts and he opened his eyes again. Her shoulders were pushed back and she was standing straight. He thought she rather looked like a willow, firm against the wind.
"Isabel's telling him now."
"Max's telling Liz?"
She nodded, clamping down on her emotions. He had warned her. He had told her that the Czecholslovakians came first. He had told her that he was afraid he was going to hurt her. She had dismissed his concerns as paranoia, believing that if they were together, it would be all right. He had been right. It made her smile bittersweetly at the thought that she was actually admitting Michael had been right. Another shocker to add to the day's list. He was watching her, his face carefully blank. But she knew him, she could see through that stone wall he was so fond of hiding behind. She knew what he had never been able to tell her before and now could never tell her. Her breath caught in her throat at that last thought. She had always been sure that one day, he'd be able to say it. Now it was impossible. She swallowed and then said,
"So I guess this is goodbye. Since, you know, you guys can't stay here now, especially if Valenti knows who the father is. And her parents would make her go to a doctor or the hospital or something..."
A stricken look flashed across his face, before it became blank again. She was right, of course, and the idea of leaving Roswell wasn't a new one, but to leave her...like this...
"Maria, I never meant...this wasn't supposed to happen, you know that, right?" She nodded, careful to mirror his blank expression.
"Yeah, I know, Michael. They were supposed to be just dreams."
"No!" The word boomed in the silence of the room like a gunshot. He crossed the small distance between them until he was just in front of her. She could actually see anger on his face now.
"It wasn't like that! We weren't dreamwalking or anything! I didn't even know she had been having them too, until she let something slip. It wasn't intentional! We didn't mean for this to happen."
She stared up into his eyes, realizing that he hadn't betrayed her. This had been a cosmic mistake, maybe some weird alien mating ritual thing. His eyes changed again, becoming vulnerable.
"Maria, you believe me, right?" His voice was slightly pleading. He stared down into her green eyes, searching for some clue to how she was feeling. His answer came in the form of her hand, which gently caressed the side of his face, before moving to the back of neck, urging his head down. He yielded and his lips met hers in a deep kiss. It was different from their usual heated, passionate kisses. This one was tender, sweet. Michael's arms came around Maria and he knew that the hardest thing he would ever have to do would be to let her go. He tasted her, the way she always tasted like fruit.
She felt her tongue tingle from his usual Tabasco taste with a dash of sweetness. Finally she broke the kiss, resting her head on his chest. He tightened his embrace and rested his chin on the top of her head, just memorizing what she felt like in his arms.
Maria let herself melt into his body for a moment. If only...she shied away from such thoughts, knowing they would only drive her crazy in the months to follow. With that knowledge in mind, she pulled away and he reluctantly let her go. She backed up, needing the space between them. She cleared her throat, and said,
"I think you should go, but, um, before you do, could you just promise, I mean, to visit, you know..." She made a typical Maria gesture encompassing her head and the bed behind her.
Michael raised an eyebrow and he smirked as he said,
"You mean, dreamwalk? Isn't that how this all got started?"
She blushed, saying, "That's not what I meant, spaceboy. I'd just like to, um, know you're okay...after you leave and everything."
He pushed his hands into pockets, because it was the only way he could keep from touching her.
There was a long moment of silence as the gap between them seemed to stretch. Finally, Maria couldn't stand it any longer and said,
"Michael, maybe you'd better...better go."
"Yeah, I guess I'd better."
Neither moved for another long second. Finally, Michael tore himself away and nearly threw himself out the window. Maria, nearly against her will, moved to the window and watched him run down the street as if the FBI itself were after him. Maria slumped down against the wall, but she still didn't cry.
The house was still, her mother was gone for the weekend on a buying trip for the store. Distantly, Maria could hear the phone ring, but she made no move to pick it up. She could hear the answering machine pick up, and Liz's voice flooded through the quiet house.
"Maria, Maria, God are you there? Max was just here and he told me about Michael and Isabel and the baby. God, are you okay? Maria, please pick up! Maria, Max says they're leaving tomorrow. They're leaving New Mexico, but he won't tell me where they're going, and they don't think they'll be back for a long time. Maria, we're losing them..."
Maria stopped listening after that. Liz was wrong. Their Czecholslovakians were already gone. She sat in the dark room, dropping her head to rest on her knees. And then the tears came.
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