FanFic - Max/Liz
"Watching the Door"
Part 5
by Brooke
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Roswell, so please don't sue!
Summary: Future Fic about Max and Liz
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: PG-13
It was a little after ten on Friday night. Liz sat on her balcony, slightly reclined in a lawn chair, physically unable to stop the trembling of her hands. Max hadn't called, but she knew he would be there any moment.

It still seemed like a dream. Her brain told her that it was real but her heart hadn't even begun to believe it yet. Yesterday it had seemed so far away, but with one sentence out of Max's mouth, and it wasn't anymore. It was tomorrow.

Liz still had no idea of what she would say to Max. They had never said it, but they both knew that tonight would be their time to say goodbye.

And as much as Liz hated admitting it even to herself, she knew that confessing her feelings for him tonight would ruin his destiny, along with Michael, Isabel, and Tess'.

So, there she sat. Waiting for Max, searching for just the right words to say enough but not too much. So far she had found none. As much as she needed to, Liz could never bring herself to think of Max as just a friend, even now when they hadn't been "close" in over a year. He was, and always would be, the love of her life.

"Liz..." a soft voice called out, interupting her thoughts. Liz turned around to see Max, just standing there. And that was all it took to bring tears to her eyes. She turned away quickly so that Max wouldn't see.

"Hi, Max..." she mumbled, wiping the tear that had escaped from her eye. He ventured slowly over towards her and sat down on the end of the lawn chair she lay on.

For a while, they were silent; glancing at each other occasionally but immediately diverting their eyes upon contact.

"Liz, I need to tell you how I feel before I leave..." Max suddenly interupted the silence. Liz forced her eyes to meet his, preparing for any guilt he might bring regarding the Kyle incident.

He continued, "But I don't want you to say anything until I'm finished. And even then, if you don't have anything to say to me, that's fine. I don't expect you to. I just need to make some things known before...." he hesitated, "....before I'm gone."

"Okay..." Liz mumbled her agreement as she tried to imagine what Max was about to say.

"Liz...." he took a deep breath and swallowed before going on. "I don't know what happened with you and Kyle. And I know you told me what happened, but somehow, I can't bring myself to believe it, even though you say it's true. And I'm not angry with you for anything that you've done. I mean, I've tried. I really have tried to be mad at you, for what supposively happened. But..." he sucked in a breath. "But I love you too much to believe it, Liz. And maybe I'm a fool for holding on to that for this long, but I can't fight it. It's just how I feel."

Liz looked on in wonder as Max looked her square in the eye and continued on. "I've loved you since the very first time I saw you, and since then I've only grown to love you more every day. I think you know that though..." Max said the last part more quietly, causing Liz to look at the ground in shame. "Even if what you say really did happen with Kyle, I still love you, Liz. I've never loved anyone else but you, and I never will. You see, I can say that, because I know more than anything else in the world, that you're my destiny. I don't know what's going to happen to me once I leave, and.....I don't know if I'll ever even see you again...." Liz looked up, surprised at his statement. "...but I know that I'll still love you, Liz. I always will; regardless of what planet I'm on or who everyone else says I should be with."

Liz was clinging to every word from his mouth, unaware of the tears that now flowed freely from her eyes. Max closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and continued on again.

"I could sit here all night, and tell you everything I've ever felt for you, but there's not enough time in the world for me to even begin. And I...." Max took a quick breath and for a moment Liz thought she had heard a tear in his voice. "I know that for a while now you haven't wanted to be with me, and Liz, that's okay. I don't blame you at all," he looked into her eyes and tried to make her understand. "I don't have anything good to offer you, and what I do have to offer only puts you in danger. And that's the last thing I would ever want. So I just want you to know, I understand..." Max swallowed and stopped for a few minutes.

He was trying to hide any emotion, but Liz knew he was crying. "Thank you, Liz..." she looked up, surprised by his comment, and waited for him to continue. "Thank you, for the time that we did have together. Thank you for trusting me with your heart, even if it was only for a little while. I'm only sorry I can't give you what you really deserve..." There was a pause and Max looked out over the sky, avoiding her eyes. "You're the only thing I've ever wanted, Liz. You mean everything to me. And I love" he turned and finally looked into her tear-filled eyes, "...and always."

Liz couldn't bring herself to say a word, or even move for that matter. Every peice of her heart screamed at her to confess her feelings for Max, as he had just done, but her head kept reminding her of his destiny, and the consequences of him knowing the truth. The least she could do was say something, anything, to make him feel even a fraction of the way that he had just made her feel.

But Liz knew that anything she could say would be a lie. She could tell him how good of a friend he had been, but he was more than just a friend. She could tell him how much she would miss him, but the feelings that Liz knew she would have would be more than just "missing Max".

So, they sat in silence for only a few more moments before Max looked again at Liz, and prepared to say goodbye. She opened her mouth to speak, and for a moment, Max's eyes widened in hope and he waited. But no words would come out, and just as she closed her mouth, the hope in his eyes dissapeared.

He stood up and as if on cue, Liz stood up beside him. They stood looking at each other for a moment, until Max said in a low voice, "Goodbye, Liz..."

Liz couldn't stop herself. If she couldn't put to words how she felt, maybe she could, in some small way, show him. She reached out and with every ounce of strength that she could muster, took him in her arms and held him as close as possible. Max responded by wrapping his arms as tightly as he could without hurting her around Liz's back and lifting her up slightly to meet his height.

They held each other for several minutes, neither one loosening their grip. Finally, they let go of each other and looked again into one anothers eyes.

Slowly, Max turned to leave, and Liz watched him go. Holding herself back from running after him, Liz watched as he dissapeared over the ladder. She stood there for several more minutes. How many even she wasn't sure of.

"Goodbye, Max..." Liz whispered into the quiet air, as her knees went weak and sobs began to take over her body.

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