|"It Was Supposed to Be You"|
Disclaimer: Roswell and the characters, and situations are owned by the WB and Melinda Metz.
No infringement intended. |
Summary: This story is based upon the idea that Max knew Liz in his previous life.
Authors Note: For those of you who read this on message boards as I was writing it. I have changed the names of the podsters in their past lives to match the names we learned during Meet the Dupes. I've also changed past life events to match up better with what we know. The rest of this story is post “The End of the World” only I’m not going to deal with Michael discovering Courtney being a Skin. I’m going to focus on Max and Liz.
|Max walked down the street with no destination. He had to get away and figure things out. His
mind spinning from what he just saw and said. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it all. He felt
there was something he was missing, he just couldn’t quite figure out what it was. |
He left his jeep at the Crashdown, because he didn’t trust himself to drive it right now. He couldn’t think straight and the only thing he felt he could do was walk. The flash he saw when he touched Liz was still fresh in his mind. It was an image of himself and Liz dancing on her balcony, but it wasn’t really him. It kind of looked like him, but there was something off about him. For one, he didn't remember that happening. The only night that he and Liz spent together that he didn't remember was the night he was drunk. But Liz had told him what happened that night last spring and she didn't mention any dancing. He was also wearing leather pants in the flash and he didn’t even own leather pants. And he looked older with longer hair. But how could that be? Was it a flash from the future? No that didn’t make any sense either, because Liz looked the same and it felt like it had happened recently. Anyway, Max had never had flashes of future events.
Max stopped walking briefly. He had called Liz ‘Arya’ to Maria. ‘Arya made her choice.’ That was exactly what he said. Why would he think of Arya now? Liz had made her choice, not Arya. Max started walking again, still with no direction. People were passing him on the street, but he took no notice of them. All he could think about was what just happened, not that he understood what just happened.
Max sped up. He needed to keep moving. “Arya,” Max said out loud. Why did he say that name? He hadn’t thought about her since he talked to Isabel earlier. Max made a right turn at the street corner, still with no destination. The love he felt for Liz was very much like the love he felt for Arya in his previous life, but Liz was not Arya.
Max's breath caught in his throat and he stopped walking. He started thinking back to last night and his dream. Arya had said something to his former self. Something that was important. Max couldn't quite remember what it was though. Max wanted to scream or hit something. The memory was just beyond his reach. Max turned around and headed back toward the Crashdown. He had to go to the Granolith. He had to remember what Arya said.
When Max got back to the Crashdown, he didn't look inside. He hopped in his jeep and took off toward the pod chamber. He hoped the memory regression worked better this time. He didn't want to try dream walking again with Isabel again. He appreciated all the help Isabel had given him over the last few days, but he wasn't ready to tell her the details about Arya, not that he knew that many.
Max tried to concentrate on driving, but it was hard. His mind kept going back to what just happened in the Crashdown. When Max got to the pod chamber, he quickly went inside and into the Granolith.
Max walked around the Granolith and then sat down Indian-style next to it. Max closed his eyes and allowed himself to go into the trance used in the memory recovery techniques. Max hoped it would be easier this time. Before when he tried to recover his memories, all Max could see was his own death. Now he had a specific memory to look for. He wanted to remember his last moments with Arya. He had to figure out what she said that was so important.
He stumbled down the corridor. Everything around him was on fire and the smoke was beginning to suffocate him. He had to find her. He looked around hoping to see someone who could help him, but there was no one. He fell down hard. When he caught his breath, he looked down at the wound in his side. He could see the strength draining from him. Did his mother and sister get out? Oh God he hoped so. The attack was so sudden, so unexpected. Now he was dying and all he could think about was his beloved. He had to get to Arya.
"It's a dream," he said aloud and closed his eyes and concentrated. He knew what he had to do now. He had to step out of his body like he did in his dream. He had to become on observer of his past life, not a participant.
When Max opened his eyes, he saw his past self laying on the ground, dying. He could no longer feel the heat from the fire that surrounded him. He was observing of his past life, so he could go to specific times and places and learn what he needed to know. Max closed his eyes and focused on Arya. He needed to go back to his last moments with her before he died. She had said something that was important, something that would explain things he didn't understand.
When Max opened his eyes, was in the small room he was in last night with Isabel. He saw his former self kneeling next to a narrow bed, which contained his beloved, just as he did last night. Max closed his eyes again, deciding he should go further back. He needed to see everything that happened in this room on the night Arya died. He had to understand everything.
When Max opened his eyes again, he saw his former self standing outside a small door with who he remembered to be Vilandra and Rath.
“She’s in there,” Vilandra said quietly.
Max watched as his former self looked at the door. He could feel his heart was pounding. Max looked down at his hands and saw his palms sweating. He knew that this was what Zan, his former self, was feeling. He was anxious to see Arya, but scared at the same time. He had just gotten married to Avadia even though he didn't love her. He had no idea Arya was still alive until after the wedding. He hadn't seen Arya in years. Max watched as Zan took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. Max felt the pain when Zan saw Arya laying practically lifeless in the small bed. Zan turned to his sister and asked, “What’s wrong with her? Where are the physicians?” Max then moved past Zan and into the room.
Seeing Arya brought back memories for Max. He remembered that they knew each other as kids. He remembered playing with her until his father decided it wasn't a good idea. He remembered the day Arya left the palace to find a life of her own in the city. She was determined to make his father proud of her so that someday they could marry. Royals had been known to marry commoners on Andorra. It wasn't completely unheard of. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she was determined to make it happen no matter what the cost.
She finally gave up on getting his father's approval though. When the war began, his father was more determined than ever to keep Arya from his son. He even approached Arya and told her if she married his son, he would be forced to disown them and the war would be lost. Seeing that it was hopeless, Arya fled the Capital city.
Max also remembered finding Arya after she fled. He remembered the time they had together in Tair, the city Arya fled to. That was their first and last night together. It was so beautiful and so brief. It was much too brief, because when he woke up the next day, she was gone. She even went to the trouble of fooling him into believing she had killed herself, so that he would give up on her. She had sacrificed her happiness so he could fulfill his duty. It wasn't fair to him or her.
Max watched as Zan walked over to the bed and knelt down beside Arya. He lowered his head and kissed her hand softly. “Arya,” he whispered. “Wake up, Arya, tell me what has happened to you.”
Max heard the door close, but he didn’t turn. He was feeling everything Zan was feeling. The love and pain were over whelming. Max closed his eyes, trying to block out the emotions. He couldn't let himself get lost in the memory. There was so much he needed to learn.
When Max opened his eyes again, Arya was talking very quietly. “Zan, it’s really you. I was so afraid I wouldn’t make it in time."
Max stepped closer to the bed so he could hear Arya better. He took a minute to push down the emotions he was feeling again. It was important that he focus on what was happening in front of him and not on what he was feeling. He could still feel the pain Zan was feeling, but they were weaker and not as overwhelming as they had been a moment ago.
Arya tried to get up, but Zan gently pushed her down. She laid back slowly and said, “Yes, it seems I am. I have seen you again, so I can die in peace.”
“Don’t talk like that, my love. I will not let you leave me again.”
“It wasn’t meant to be this time, Zan. In this life we could not be together, we will have to wait for the next life I suppose,” Arya said smiling at Zan as he kissed her hand. “At least I can help you in this life," Arya paused, trying to catch her breath.
Max gasped, "This life." Suddenly a memory came to him. A memory of a story his mother told him as a young child. It was an old story about the place where souls are created. A soul was created and then split into two parts. Each half would be given life and during their life the souls search for their other half. If for some reason a soul did find it's other half or could not be with it’s other half in their first lifetime, the souls would be reborn to try again.
Max stared at Zan and Arya, not listening to what they were saying. Scared to believe what he was thinking. Could Liz be Arya's soul reborn? Was that story more than just a story? He had felt a connection to Liz from the first moment he saw her. Could that connection be because Liz was Arya in her previous life? Are souls shared across galaxies?
Suddenly Max's head began to hurt. He forced himself out of the trance and opened his eyes. He grabbed his head. He was trying to do too much again. He had slept all day so he wasn't tired, but he was weak because he hadn't eaten since yesterday. Max looked at his watch. It read 8:30. He had been in the trance for over two hours.
Slowly Max stood up, he had to find the answers tonight. He gathered all his strength and went to the jeep. He found a candy bar in the glove box and ate it as he thought about what he just learned.
It didn't seem possible that Liz and Arya shared a soul, that just seemed far fetched. But what other explanation could there be. From the first moment he saw Liz Parker, he was in love with her. He remembered coming off of the school bus with Isabel and seeing Liz playing the schoolyard. His eyes went to her immediately and he felt an immediate connection between them. A connection that defied explanation until now.
Max was still unsure though. He didn't believe souls were reincarnated. It was a bedtime story, not reality. Anyway, Arya had sacrificed her happiness and her life for Zan. Liz was not prepared to do that. She told him that she wanted to be in love with normal boys, not him. Then she went and slept with Kyle. If she really loved him, she would never have done that.
Max started the jeep and turned it around so he could head back to town. He couldn't go on torturing himself. Liz had made her choice, and it wasn't possible that Liz and Arya had the same soul. That was a fairytale. Liz would never do what Arya did. Arya fooled Zan into thinking she was dead and then went on to help Zan the only way she knew how, as a spy.
Max slammed on his brakes almost knocking himself out of the seat. "Arya fooled Zan," he said aloud. "Could it be?"
Max was afraid to hope. He knew that Liz thought he and Tess had to be together, that they had to fulfill his destiny, but would she go to such extremes to make it happen? It seemed a bit farfetched, and how would she know he would be coming up to her window that night? It didn't seem likely at all. Max started moving again. He had to get back to town. He had to find out the truth. There was only one person who could help him now.
|Part 10 | Index | Part 12|
|Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours|