Disclaimer: No. I do not own Roswell, or any of the characters. Unfortunately this would also include the actors who portray them. *sigh* Jason and Brendan are safe from my grasp *pout* |
Summary: Max's Point Of View of his break up with Liz from my story "Premonition"
Authors Note: Well... I'm a happy girl, I think I found the voices again. *smile* I don't know how long this is going to end up now though ~ This is for my sister and beta-babe, Sherry you are da bomb~ Complete with lit wick!!! and for Cynthia R for letting me know she was still waiting for more parts... *grin* Thank you to everyone who wrote me!! Much appreciated and inspirational ~
|It's December 21. |
It's a school day, Friday actually. And I am not in school.
There's a shocker… Liz Parker, not in school. I can't be there right now.
I can't even think how I am going to explain all this to Maria. I called her this morning and explained that I was feeling a little tired after everything that happened yesterday. She understood. Asked me if I needed anything. Asked me a hundred times if I was feeling ok.
I said I was fine.
I decided that I would just leave like I do every morning and that way I wouldn't have to explain anything to mom and dad. But I forgot that they were gone. Forgot that more than a week ago they had explained to me that they were going away for a couple days. I found a note on the refrigerator door telling me that they hadn't wanted to wake me, Dad had made arrangements for one of the senior waitress's to handle everything downstairs. That they loved me, they'd call later and would see me Sunday night.
The car was parked outside.
I didn't have to work.
And I wanted nothing more than to be alone. If only for a little while.
So I decided that I was going to have a little time away. From Roswell, from being constantly watched, from everyone, especially Max.
I knew Maria would be pissed if I up and disappeared on her, especially after everything that had happened last night, so I decided I'd leave her a note, downstairs in the Café. I knew she would come by after school to check up on me.
So I gave the note to Jane, one of the waitress's. Asked her to please give it to Maria when she came in. "No problem Liz." She said smiling, though she looked concerned.
I got the feeling that Jane knew I wasn't going to school, but if she did, she didn't say anything to try and change my mind. "Thanks Jane. I'll check in later." I whispered. I could do much more than that. My voice was useless from crying most of the night.
So here I am. Where ever here is.
Somewhere between Roswell and Dexter. I'm not really that far from home but I feel thousands of miles away from everyone I know. This place has always done that for me. I've been here a dozen times since I first started to drive. I only ever brought Maria here once. She was curious as to where I had started disappearing. She never asked to come back. She calls this place Nexus. I like that name so I've never bothered to find out exactly where here is.
If I knew, It would be harder to pretend I was on the other side of the world.
Whenever I started to feel that Roswell was just a little to small for even this small town girl, I could disappear out here, and somehow, here it's really easy to close your eyes and forget about everything back there. This is where I can usually stop thinking. But even Nexus isn't powerful enough to stop me from thinking today.
About my life before he became such an overwhelming part of it.
It's kind of ironic that a bullet gave me life.
I was simply existing. Going about my days, everything stayed the same. Nothing was out of order. School, work, hang out with Maria and Alex, study, sleep.... that was about it. That was really all that mattered in my world. There were some highlights of course. And even before the gunshot, Max Evans was becoming one of those highlights.
Just seeing him across the room, or catching him looking at me, would suddenly make my world spin. I didn't know why though... I mean yah, he is beautiful. And from what I knew of him, which wasn't a lot, I knew that he was nice. Sweet even. But I was going out with Kyle, and Kyle was good looking, and he was very sweet to me. But, as much as I sometimes wished there was, I felt nothing when I was with Kyle. When he kissed me, it was nice... but there was nothing more.
All Max had to do was look at me, and my heart suddenly found a new rhythm, and butterflies took flight in my stomach. Before the gunshot, I was slowly beginning to realize that I wanted to be with Max Evans. That the guy I was suddenly paired up with in Biology lab had the most amazing deep brown eyes. The kind that you would willingly drown in. That whenever he leaned in close to me, to look at some notes, or look into the microscope, I suddenly had a hard time concentrating on anything other than how good he smelled. How his very presence made me feel ... enveloped. That I was falling for him. And I didn't even know him.
Then his hands were on me, healing me. And to be absolutely honest, that's what I want. I've thought a lot about Max. About him healing me. About how my life has changed since the day I found out the truth about where he's from. But as much as I've thought about it, I keep coming back to that one moment. And all I can think of is that I want to feel that again. I want to feel that connection. I want to feel his hands on me again, and I want him to never let me go.
I can understand why he felt he had to say good bye last night. Sort of. My head can rationalize it. But my heart... My heart feels as though the second bullet hit it's mark.
Tears started to fall on the page and Liz suddenly realized that she was crying again. Slowly she put down the pen and took a deep breath, hoping that somehow the air here would be easier to breathe.
* * *
Across the sand, a figure lay crouching, using scopes to stare across the distance into the tear streaked face of Liz Parker. The girl who should be dead. Shooting her last night had been a mistake, but maybe she was the key to unlocking the aliens secret after all.
* * *
"Hey Jane." Jane looked up to see Maria walking though the door of the CrashDown, followed by Alex, and the other three kids that the girls had been hanging out with lately. Who were they again? Oh yeah, Max and Isabel Evans and Michael Guerin.
She smiled at the young girl "Hey Maria. Alex" She gave Alex a nod in acknowledgment, Alex returned that gesture. Then she brought her gaze back to the other three. She quickly gave Isabel and Michael a once over, but then stopped when she looked at Max. "Well now, you look about as happy as Liz did this morning."
Max slowly met the woman's eyes, but said nothing. ‘Oh my', she thought to herself, ‘Just as wounded.'
Maria looked over at Max and realized that he really did look terrible. She had only seen him once earlier this morning, he had asked where Liz was. "She called me this morning and told me that she was still a little tired after everything that had happened last night." "Oh", he had said in that soft voice of his. And she had noticed then that he had looked really strung out, though she just figured it had to do with the shooting. But now that she was looking more closely, she realized that there was a lot more to that look than lack of sleep. She saw that look the morning she had woken up after the rave, after Michael had called it quits between them, after she had cried most of the night.
Wait, did Jane say Liz looked like that this morning?
"Liz upstairs?" Maria asked looking at Jane, there was now a touch of concern in her voice, and Jane heard it. "Ah no actually", Jane said slowly, giving Maria a slightly nervous look, "she left early this morning." Then she reached into her apron and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "Left you this note though, said she'd call later."
Slowly Maria took the piece of paper from Jane. "Thanks", she managed to say calmly. Normally she wouldn't even be that worried, but after what happened the night before, she didn't like the idea of Liz off by herself. She slowly made her way to the back, where she could read the note away from Jane and the others.
Maria~ Don't freak out on me, I'm ok. I just needed some time alone. Time to think... about a lot of things. I couldn't face school today, not after what happened last night. I'm coming back tonight, I'll call you as soon as I get home. Maybe then I'll be able to talk about everything. Liz~
A simple note. She had tried not to say much of anything at all. But when you have been best friends your whole life, reading between the lines became as simple as breathing. And Maria felt everything that Liz was hiding behind the words. She felt her eyes sting with tears, Liz was hurting. She realized that everyone had followed her, was watching her, waiting for a sign of what was happening, and so slowly she turned around to look at Max.
In not much more than a whisper, her voice choked with impending tears and more than a little anger, she managed to whisper brokenly "What did you do?"
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