|Disclaimer: if I really owned them do you really think Tess would even exist! |
Summary: Liz contemplates about her relationship with Max by writing her thoughts down in her diary.
Author's Note: The story is told by way of 2 diary entries of Liz. This is my first completed fanfic (I am in the middle of writing some Buffy/Angel ones) and my very 1st Roswell one so please be nice. I was put on this earth to receive feedback from my fanfic stories!
|Everyday I wonder Ďwhat would life be like if Max Evans hadnít healed me four years ago?í I guess Iím thinking it now more than ever because it is the exact date of that day. Kind of like an anniversary. Until he healed me he was just Max Evans, a nice guy in my year. Afterwards, he became a major part of my life in a way nothing ever has before. Every time I saw him I wondered did he think about me when I wasnít there? Itís amazing how when I thought I had finally found the one person who loved me as much as I loved them, he was taken away from me. Through destiny. His destiny to be with someone else. It hurts. It hurts when I see him with her, Tess, the person who can have what I want. It hurts when I see Maria with Michael. I know sheís my best friend so I should just be happy for her and Michael. But Iím not. Instead Iím jealous. Jealous that she can have what she wants without having to worry about there being consequences. Jealous that she can be with whom she loves and that that person loves her back. So we return to my first question. ĎWhat would life be if Max Evans hadnít healed me?í I donít know. And I guess now Iíll never find out. But the one thing I do know is that if it had never happened things would have been better. Sure, there would have been problems and there would have been hurt. But I would be able to deal with that. But not this. Not this hurt. This hurt will never go away no matter how hard I try. Maybe I deserve it. Maybe not. But another thing Iíve realised is that if I ever got the chance to go back in time and change what happened. So that I never got shot. So that Max never had to heal me. Iíd take it. Because letting go is more than I can bear.|
Next entry: one week later
Something happened today that changed my thoughts. Something, that changed me. Just like he always does. Max spoke to me for the first time in two weeks. But its not that he spoke to me. Its what he said. What he did. What he meant. He said he loved me. Just like that. I was walking home and he appeared out of nowhere and said it. And he said it right in front of Tess. Oh, she was pretending she wasnít there and hiding behind a tree but I knew she was there. I got the same feeling of wanting to puke every time I see her. And after that he said he always had. Everyday. Even with Tess. He said that he didnít want to follow his destiny because he knew he would never be able to do all those things if he couldnít do them with me. And at that moment I knew that Max Evans has and always will be the one person I love. Then as he leaned forwards to kiss me he stopped. And I realised he had just noticed Tess. But then he smiled and kissed me anyway. And I knew that nothing could ever keep us apart again. That we were both where we were meant to be. That this was our destiny. And I realised something else too. I realised what life would really be like if Max Evans hadnít healed me and stopped my life ending. It wouldnít be life. Because my life only began on that day. And it hasnít ended yet. But when it does it will be with him.
|Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours|