FanFic - Max/Liz
"Musings of a Forgotten Conscience"
Part 1
by Magus
Disclaimer: I don't want to say that these characters are mine, because they are not. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.
Summary: Max talks to his conscience and has a battle of the mind.
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: I would like feedback simply because I'm new to this and I'd like any help you could give me.
Max...

Max...don't ignore me...

"What...I..."

Max...it's time you became aware of yourself...

"What do you want?"

Why do you ignore your responsibility so?

"I don't...but it is very hard."

It isn't hard, you just aren't trying. Think about it. You are a mix of emotions so grand, that even I can't sift through them.

"Emotions...maybe. But this life is hard enough as it is to ignore emotions. I have to deal with my true self, my love for Liz, and my leadership responsibilities. You can't expect me to ignore my emotions."

I'm not saying you have to ignore your emotions...any being in this universe and beyond has emotions to deal with, and yours are no exception, but when you give yourself so freely to them, then it becomes a problem.

"Do I give myself to my emotions? I didn't realize that."

Don't kid yourself. What did you feel when you saw Liz with Kyle?

"Anger, hurt, hatred, jealousy."

Correct. And because of this, you made some mistakes. Does this make any sense to you?

"Yes...somewhat. But I don't see-"

Exactly. You don't see. Do you think that you are the only person out there? You are a selfish person, but it really isn't your fault. Everyone is selfish, but not everyone gives in as you do.

"I see...so to be a good leader, I should be open to giving my life up for the people I serve?"

Exactly! Maybe there's hope for you still.

"But I don't understand. Am I supposed to always think of others, even if they wrong me?"

No, you have a right to defend yourself. But that is when your leadership responsibilities come in to play. Any good leader has to know when to forgive. It may take years to completely master this, but it's always a good time to start.

"What about my love life?"

What love life? Oh! You mean Liz? That's the biggest problem of them all. You think of Liz almost as much as you think of living the next day. It's like an obsession. And being your conscience, I totally agree with your pick. You know how Tess has been trying to get you to like her?

"Yeah..."

Well you also then know how Liz is getting you to like her as well. You don't think it much, but I can feel that you know it to be true. Right Max?

"Yes, I do somehow think that."

But I have great news for you! Liz still loves you. You can tell with your eyes, the way she talks to you, even the way she serves you at the Crashdown. And although she may be trying in vain to get you to fall for Tess, I know that she doesn't think that's right at all. Do you get what I am saying?

"Yes! I'm happier than I could ever be! But...I still have trouble with the image I get when I think of Kyle. What should I do about it?"

Let it go! It's only going to haunt you if you dwell on it.

"I see. Thank you for this talk...I'll have to keep it in mind.

You're welcome, Max. I look forward to our lives together, forever.

"One quick question...you said that I ignore you. Do I?"

Yes, Max. I try to tell you things when you have a difficult task, but you completely shut me out. I think it might be that whole alien thing, but you also might think you don't have to listen to any one else. That's wrong, but I can agree with you on that somewhat. Oh...it's time to wake up. Goodbye, Maxwell Evans. And, fight the good fight. You may just win.

The End

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