|"Lost Out In The Desert"|
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters used in this story; property of the WB
Summary: Max and Liz find themselves stuck in a dreamworld where they're the only people who can save each other...
|Read this part from the perspective of: Max|
I listened to her. She told me to hold her hand, so I did. I love feeling her skin. I love knowing that she held her hand out for me to touch. I still wasn't sure of this entire dream state. We were both here, I knew that much. But the freedom that being in a dream allowed us took away the tension I had feared all summer. It was just hard, to be this close to her, and be in a state where we were trying to figure things out. And my insecurity about everything was "black" as day I guess you could say. I hadn't figured out why it took me as long as it did to finally see sun and bask in it, not burn. But regardless of the reason, when I finally had given in, the look on her face to finally see me again was painfully perfect, the way I had dreamed it would be. Everything I felt reflecting exactly what I felt in her eyes.
I wondered if our actions would have ramifications when we awoke. I don't think I could let myself care at this point. She was there with me, crack in the ground separating us nonetheless, but we were together for the first time in 3 months.
I stroked the smooth skin of her hand and looked up at the sun. I missed the constellations, the millions of constellations that all configured to the shape of my home. And it wasn't until I took Liz's hand that I was then wearing the white silk shirt and pants that matched her, it wasn't until the constellations were gone that I could finally feel the sun. Something was trying to tell me that I could never have Liz and home. The two just would never fit together. The two most important things in my life were completely incongruous.
I wish we could just leave this place. Go somewhere else. Where the threat of black and parting earth and constellations weren't making me nervous and upset. I stopped stroking her hand, and just held it in mine. And I closed my eyes tightly. Willing us away from this place that told me things I didn't want to know. Take us somewhere else, put us somewhere else.
Before I knew it, the breath in my lungs left me and when I opened my eyes I was the middle of the most barren desert I've ever seen in my life. The sun was barely sunken below the horizon. The sky was purple, blue, pink. The ground was hard but gentle on my soft feet. The colors were so intense, so vibrant I had to look at the ground. And when I did, my heart jumped in my throat.
I tried to cry her name, but my voice, it wasn't there, it left me, no sound came out, but my head was screaming, my heart pounding a million miles an hour. Liz was lying at my feet. Her white wrap barely clinging to her body. And right where I had healed her before, blood was pouring out of her.so much blood coming out of her.
I can't breathe, I can't speak - can't move. I looked around for help. God I'm such an idiot. No one can help me in this place. And in my second-spanned search for help, I found my eyes involuntarily forced to look up at the sky as it burst into that deep indigo again. And all of the million constellations of my home came rushing toward me in slow motion. Like fireworks. Like fireworks you swear are going to burn you, spark on your bare knees but they don't.
I dropped to the ground. And I could feel the constellations rushing back, sucking themselves away from me. The closer I let my body get to Liz the further away it all flew from me. I looked back up and it all, the entire indigo sky would rush towards me like a violent 3-D movie. No. No. Don't make me choose, not now, don't make me choose.
I blocked out every force, every instinctual signal to turn my face back to the stars, to let them swoop me up and take me away. How I had been able to act so assertively before, all of those months ago when I had healed her the first time, the ability just left me. God, why was I hesitating?! What was I so afraid of? Because I didn't know if I could save her. Not this time. Not when I had just denied my entire existence and creation. My powers felt like they were dripping out of me. I had betrayed my home by turning my back. And it was betraying me by making me helpless. With no powers, no voice to wake her up. No courage to get us out of this place. I didn't care. I tried anyway.
I frantically moved her wrap aside from the upper half of her body. I couldn't do this unless I was touching her skin. I placed my hand over her wound. My gut wrenched when I recognized the wound and how it felt under my palm. Gunshot, the exact wound. The most frightening moment of my life was happening again.
I tried calling her name. Nothing, no sound would come. Supported her neck with my hand, trying to heal her with the other. Nothing, nothing, god.nothing. Home flying further and further away from me the closer I leaned into her, the deeper I tried to connect to her. The feel of her blood slick and hot beneath my hand made me want to die. It tore up through my entire body. Killing everything it touched. God, why isn't this working?! I screamed in my head, because it was all I could do. There had to be something I could do. Something. I looked up at the sky again. The stars slid closer to me. Magnified so large I could hear them existing right above my head.
"I'll take her with me." I sobbed to them loudly. Oh god, I had spoken. I was finally able to speak. And I felt my heart lurch and head turn immediately down to her when she moved in my hold.
Her eyes flew open. She looked into me, straight into me. And her body convulsed under my hand. I didn't notice my flood of tears until they hit her bare torso and rolled off jaggedly over her goose-bumps. And maybe because it was a dream, her blood disappeared. Evaporated right in front of my eyes.
She looked up at me. Her completely bare upper-body still propped in my hands. Her chest rising and falling heavily. And tears streaming out of the corners of her eyes and soaking hotly into my hand.
She looked at me, pleadingly. Desperately. Wanting to know what I had just said. What had brought her back to life. How could she question it? Because, God, because it's been the *one thing* she's wanted to hear from you since the beginning. And you've never said it to her, never.
I leaned in closer to her face, covering her, sheltering her. Trying to calm her erratic heartbeat I could feel pulsing beneath me. When I breathed lightly on her face from our closeness, she let her eyelids momentarily slip shut, then she looked back at me. And when I softly closed my lips around her trembling bottom one, I savored the sweet taste of her on the tip of my tongue. She was warm and alive. It took her a second before she opened her eyes from my kiss.
She let her eyes slowly pull themselves back up to me. Bracing us for this moment. She raised her hand and put it over my heart.
Yes, Liz. This is definitely a vow.
"I would take you with me."
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