FanFic - Max/Liz
"I Die a Thousand Deaths"
Part 2
by Irina
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Please, don’t sue me. I’m just a poor college student.
Summary: Max and Liz are together. Hey, it’s my universe and in my universe they’re happy. Max knows about Kyle and the future Max and everything that Liz did for him and everybody else. The story begins when Max suddenly dies in an explosion and everyone is dealing with his death.
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: I’m not sure where I got the title from. I think I heard it in a song or a poem. So, if you know where it’s from, please, let me know. Thanks. Please, let me know what you think about this story.
7 days later

Max slowly opened his eyes. His head felt like he was just hit by a truck. He turned his head.

“Finally,” he heard a voice say. “We already began to think that we gave you too much of that stuff.”

Max sat up and looked at the person sitting next to the bed. “Tess?” he said as he looked at the girl sitting across from him.

“Ava,” she answered.

“I thought you left town,” he said, confused.

“I did,” she answered as she stood up and walked to the window.

Max looked around the room. “Where am I?” he asked.

“You’re still in Roswell, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Whatta hell is going on?” Max asked her as he got off the bed.

“Calm down,” he heard his own voice say. He turned around and saw a person who looked just like him, only with piercings and weird hair.

Max was shocked. “But how…” he began to ask. Zan was supposed to be dead.

“My little sister didn’t quite finish the job,” Zan answered.

Max had so many questions running through his head right now. “Where am I?” he asked again.

“It’s a motel right outside of town,” Zan said. “It’s the safest place that we could find.”

“Safest? From what?” Max asked.

“Lonnie and Rath…they’re back. They’re working with that guy…the one in charge of the skins.”

“Nicholas?” Max said.

“Yeah, him…they want the granolith and they know you have it.”

“And what do you want?” Max asked.

“We want to stay alive.”

“What do I have to do with it?” Max asked.

“If they kill you, it’s easier for them to get to us, to all of us,” Zan said.

“I don’t understand…how did I get here?” Max asked, even more confused now.

Zan took a deep breath and looked at Ava. Then he took out a newspaper out of his back pocket of jeans and handed it to Max. Max took the paper and unfolded it. There, on the front page he saw a small picture of himself and then bellow a picture of a funeral. He saw his parents, Isabelle and Michael standing next to a coffin. Max heart began beating fast as he struggled to understand what the paper said. He died? He was dead? This was insane.

“What is this?” Max asked, angrily.

“It’s your funeral, Max,” Zan said, calmly. “You’re dead…to your family and the rest of the world, you’re dead.” When Max didn’t say anything, Zan added, “It’s the only way to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?” Max shouted.

“They want to kill you. Lonnie and Rath, they want to kill you to get to the granolith.”

“So, you’re gonna do it for them?” Max asked, looking straight at Zan.

“If we wanted to kill you, we would have done that 10 days ago,” Zan said with a smirk.

“10 days ago?” Max asked and looked down at the paper. It said that he died 10 days ago. “Oh, God…” his heard was pounding as his thought turned to Liz. “Liz?”

“She’s fine,” Ava said. “Look,” she pointed to the picture and just then Max saw her. Liz, with Alex and Maria by her side, looked like a ghost. Even though it was just a bad picture, he saw the pain on Liz’s face. Just then he realized…she believe he was dead. He couldn’t even imagine what she must have been going through. There were times when he tried to imagine his life without Liz and he felt like his heart stopped. “I have to get to her,” Max said as he looked up from the paper.

“No!” Zan said.


“Max, you can’t let them know you’re alive. Not now. We have to figure out what Lonnie and Rath are planning to do first.”

“I don’t care,” Max said.

“You don’t care?! Max, this is the only way you can protect them. If you die, who will?” Zan exclaimed. “Liz and your sister and everybody else…they’ll make it through this. We’ll figure out a way to stop the skins and you’ll go back to your quite little life and live happily ever after.”

“He’s right, Max,” Ava finally said.

Max was shaking. He couldn’t completely comprehend what was happening. What HAS happened. He looked at her. “They’ll be alright for a while. Besides, we’ll be watching them.”

“So, you’re telling me to just pretend that I’m dead?” Max asked quietly.

“We’re telling you that you have a choice of staying here and in the process saving everybody’s lives,” Zan answered.


One Week Later

Liz lied in her bed. She hasn’t gotten up in days now. She was barely awake when Maria, Alex, Isabelle, and Michael visited her every day. She knew that they talked to her, but she had no idea what they said. She slept most of the time. It was easy. It was the best way to escape reality. She was asleep for so many hours that she wasn’t sure what the reality was anymore. Was it when she was awake? Or was it in her dreams? What was real?

Maria and Alex spent their days at the Crashdown. Liz’s parents welcomed that. They knew that Liz needed her friends right now. Everyone was worried sick about Liz. Isabelle and Michael hung around as well. It was easier to concentrate on someone else’s pain instead of their own. Besides, they were all very worried about Liz. She hasn’t said a word since the explosion. She showed absolutely no signs of emotion and that worried them more than anything else. It seemed like Liz died inside and that was scarier than loosing Max.

“Liz, honey,” Nancy said quietly as she walked into Liz’s room. “There’s someone here to see you.” Liz didn’t respond. “Max’s mom was hoping to talk to you,” she added.

Max’s name caught Liz’s attention and she looked up at her mother. “Dianne Evans is here,” Nancy repeated. Liz didn’t say anything. She just nodded, letting her mom know that she was coming.

Liz walked into the room and saw Dianne Evans sitting on the couch with her back to Liz. Suddenly she turned around and looked at Liz. Max’s mom looked 10 years older. She looked tired and her eyes were puffy and read, obviously from crying.

“Liz, hello,” Dianne finally said as she stood up. Liz just nodded, not being able to make herself speak. “Please, come, sit,” Diane said, pointing to a space on the couch next to her.

As Liz walked around the couch and sat down, Diane smiled at her sympathetically. Isabelle told her that Liz wasn’t dealing too well with what happened, but she wasn’t ready to see so much pain in Liz’s eyes…this little girl, a child sitting next to her.

“I…uh…was going through Max’s…” she stopped, trying to compose herself, “…this.” She took out a small envelope out of her purse. “It’s for you, she said while handing the envelope to Liz.

Liz looked up at Diane, then down at the envelope. Hesitantly, she took the envelope from Diane. On the other side of it “To Liz” was written with Max’s writing. Liz’s heart began beating faster as she looked up at Diane, as if asking for confirmation.

“I’m sorry, I read it…I guess I was just looking for an answer…to why it happened,” Diane said, “But instead I found something else,” she continued with tears in her eyes. “I found out that we have something in common…we both lost someone we loved very much.” When Liz didn’t say anything, she continued, “Isabelle said that I shouldn’t give it to you. That it would hurt you even more, but I thought that maybe it would bring you some peace of mind. I know Max would have wanted me to do that.” Liz nodded, trying to thank Max’s mom, while looking at the envelope.

“Well, I should go,” Diane said. She put her hand over Liz’s, “I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but it will get better.” As Liz looked up at her, Diane smiled slightly at her through tears. As she got up and walked towards the door, Liz didn’t move.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Diane suddenly asked. Liz looked up at her, questioningly. “What his secret was.”

Liz looked away, not being able to lie to the woman in front of her. Diane realized that she just got the answer to her question. “I understand why he loved you so much,” she said. Liz’s eyes filled with tears as she looked up. “I’m sorry,” Liz said quietly.


She walked fast between the tombstones towards the one she hasn’t seen since the day of the funeral. This was the only thing she knew she could do. After Max’s mom left Liz tried to make herself to read what Max wrote, but she couldn’t get past opening the envelope. At that moment she knew where she had to go. She got dressed and snuck out of her room without anybody knowing where she went.

Finally, Liz saw what she was looking for. “To a loving son, brother, and friend,” it said on the stone. Liz froze when she saw Max’s face looking back at her from the picture on the stone. She dropped to her knees, unable to stand. She just sat there for a moment, looking at Max’s picture. All this time she thought that she couldn’t feel pain. That she was numb. But she was wrong. She felt like her organs were pulled inside out.

Liz finally got enough strength to open the envelope and get the letter out. It read,

“Dear Liz,
I’ve rewritten this letter so many times; sometimes I think I’m paranoid. I’ve even tried to give it to you a few times, but I was afraid that maybe I’d jinx it or something. I know that we’ve never talked about it, but I’ ve thought about this a lot…death. My death.

I want you to know that I don’t mind. We’re in war and war means that somebody dies. If it’s me, that’s Ok, too. Dying is just a part of life, right? I mean, that what a scientist would say.

But I am scared. I’m scared that if I go wherever it is that we all go after we die, I would be without you. And that is one thing that I could never be ready for. If I die, I promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to stay near you. I promise you that I’ll be here, with you.

Yours always,

Liz was shaking as she finished reading the letter. She looked at his picture again. She couldn’t hold it in any longer. Liz broke down and the tears ran down her face. The pain was suffocating her.


“Hold your horses,” Michael yelled out as he headed towards the door.

Somebody was knocking like crazy on his entrance door. As he opened it, he saw Maria standing in front of him.

“Liz is gone,” was all that she said.


It was dark now. They’ve been looking for her for a few hours now. The cemetery was the last place they looked. When they came closer to Max’s grave they saw Liz. She was curled up in a fetus position, hugging a piece of paper to her chest. When they came closer they realized that she was asleep.

Maria sat down next to Liz and shook her gently “Liz,” she called out with tears in her eyes. Slowly, Liz opened her eyes. For a moment she was confused about where she was and why Maria was sitting next to her. Liz sat up, finally remembering how she got here. Just then Maria put her arms around her. “I was so worried,” Maria said through tears.

Liz looked up from her friend, who was still hugging her, to Michael, Isabelle, and Alex standing next to them. At this moment she realized just how much they were all worried about her all this time. She saw how scared they were for her. And how it was killing them not being able to help her. She also saw their own pain. She realized then that they needed her just as much as she needed them. That the only way all of them were going to get through this is by sticking together.

She put her hands around Maria. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.


She let the hot water run down her body. She made the water as hot as she could handle. It felt good to actually feel again. Since Max died she felt like she died with him. She felt as she really was dead on the inside. In a way it was worse now. She felt pain again, and it was unbearable. But she was living again and that was all that mattered.

Part 1 | Index | Part 3
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