All of the characters in this story collectively belong to Jason Katmis, The WB,
Melinda Mertz and all the entities who hold the respective copyrights to both
the Roswell High books, and Roswell TV series.
All of the characters related to The X-Files collectively belong to Chris Carter
and 20th Century Fox Television and all entities who hold the respective
copyrights.
THE X-FILES/ROSWELL CROSSOVER
By
Damon Moudry
FADE IN:
EXT. INTERSTATE 70 - WEST - DAY
A Ford Taurus drives down a stretch of highway.
ON SCREEN CAPTION: Interstate 70 - West
Roswell, NM
INT. THE TAURUS - SAME
FOX MULDER is behind the wheel, and DANA SCULLY is beside him. Mulder’s
suit jacket is on the seat back as he picks sunflower seeds out of an open bag
on the dash. Scully types on a laptop.
SCULLY
I can’t believe I let you talk me into this, Mulder.
MULDER
Talk you into what, Scully?
SCULLY
This.
Scully looks out the window at the arid landscape.
SCULLY
Tumbleweeds and tarantulas.
MULDER
Do you know you have any idea where we’re
headed, Scully?
SCULLY
Yeah, Roswell, New Mexico. What’s the big deal?
MULDER
The big deal? Scully, I’m surprised at you. Surely
even a skeptic such as yourself has heard of the
legendary Roswell, New Mexico?
SCULLY
What I’ve heard, Mulder, is merely conjecture and
unsubstantiated rumors about a supposed space
craft that crashed landed in 1947, but that no one
has been able to adequately prove it’s existence
beyond a shadow of a doubt, scientifically or
otherwise.
MULDER
Come on, Scully. Even you have to admit that
there‘s way to much “rumor and conjecture” to just
dismiss this as a case of an urban legend run amuck,
don’t you?
Mulder looks at Scully who doesn’t respond.
MULDER
The alien bodies that they found around the crash
site? The piece of metal that doesn’t correspond to
any of the 92 elements on the periodic table of the
elements? Why the Fox network keeps airing
specials like “When Good Times Go Bad and
Animals Attack?”
Scully looks at Mulder doubtingly.
MULDER
All right, Ms. Catalogue and Classify. Tell you what.
You can spend the entire trip trying to prove to me
that everybody else and I are the victim of some
kind of mass delusion if you want, and I won’t say a
word.
Scully considers Mulder’s offer.
SCULLY
All right. But I could have done that back in our
Albuquerque, office and saved us the trip.
MULDER
Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?
Mulder turns to Scully and smiles as Scully shakes her head and goes back to
typing on her laptop. Mulder reaches for the back of sunflower seeds and
realizes that it is empty.
MULDER
Damn.
SCULLY
What? Not having any fun yet?
Mulder looks at Scully as if to say, “very funny”.
EXT. INTERSTATE 70 - WEST - SAME
The Taurus drives by a sign: WELCOME TO ROSWELL, NM.
EXT. THE CRASHDOWN CAFE - DAY
People walk by the Alien theme eatery.
INT. THE CRASHDOWN CAFE - CONTINUOUS
The place is packed. LIZ PARKER, dressed in her waitress uniform, carries two
full orders in both hands as she emerges from the kitchen. MARIA De LUCA,
also in a uniform, carries a bin full of dirty dishes the opposite way.
MARIA
It never stops.
LIZ
Tell me about it.
Liz walks the orders over to two CUSTOMERS sitting at a booth.
LIZ
That’s one Independence Day, no fries. And one X-
Files, no mustard.
CUSTOMER#1
Thank you.
CUSTOMER#2
Thank you.
LIZ
Do you guys need anything else?
CUSTOMER#2
Not thanks. We’re fine.
Liz nods and walks back toward the rear and passes MAX EVANS and
MICHAEL GERRAND who sit in a booth eating pieces of pie. Max gently grabs
Liz’s arm.
MAX
Excuse me, could we have more...
Max holds up an empty bottle of Tabasco sauce. Smiling, Liz takes the bottle
from Max.
LIZ
Anything else, sir?
MAX
No, that’ll be fine.
Max and Liz wink at one another as Liz walks off.
MICHAEL
God, you two got it bad.
MAX
Oh, yeah. Like you and Maria don’t have the warm
and fuzzies for each other?
Michael points a finger at Max.
MICHAEL
That’s...
MAX
What?
Michael struggles for the words.
MICHAEL
...Different.
MAX
Uh, huh.
Max takes a bite of pie as Michael shakes his head.
MICHAEL
I don’t know what it is about that girl, but she makes
me just want to...
MAX
What?
MICHAEL
I don’t know! Strangle her to death sometimes.
MAX
And other times?
MICHAEL
I don’t know.
Max smiles at Michael.
MAX
You got it bad.
Maria walks up and puts the Tabasco on the table.
MARIA
One extremely sweet and extremely spicy. Got what
bad?
Michael looks up at Maria.
MICHAEL
Nothing. It’s nothing.
Michael takes the Tabasco and drenches his piece of pie. Maria looks at Max
who appears caught off guard.
MARIA
I see. Max?
MAX
I, uh...
Michael looks directly at Max.
MAX
Don’t know either.
MARIA
Right. That’ll be five seventy five, and unless you
two don’t have someplace else to be, I suggest you
make room for the lunch time crowd and quit
loitering?
MICHAEL
What lunch time crowd?
The overhead bell RINGS as the front door opens. Max, Michael and Maria turn
and see MULDER and SCULLY walk in. Mulder and Scully both wear their suit
jackets as Liz walks up to them with a pair of menus.
LIZ
Hi, welcome to the Crashdown Cafe. Where would
you like to sit?
MULDER
The counter.
SCULLY
A booth.
Liz looks at Mulder and Scully, confused.
LIZ
Right.
MULDER
We’ll take the booth.
Liz walks Mulder and Scully over to the booth directly behind Michael and Max.
Mulder sits with his back to Max’s booth, and Scully sits opposite him as Liz
puts open menus on the table.
LIZ
Our specials today are the Will Smith and Sigourney
Weaver. Can I get you anything to start with? Drinks,
maybe?
MULDER
A coffee would be nice.
SCULLY
Make that two.
LIZ
Two coffees it is. Sugar and cream?
MULDER
Lots of Sugar.
SCULLY
Black.
LIZ
Right. One black, one cream. I’ll be right back.
Liz walks away.
MULDER
Well, what do you think Scully? Have they managed
to crass to a new, commercial level?
Scully looks around the cafe and sees Alien memorabilia, the real gaudy kind
(orange stuffed aliens, Roswell tee-shirts, etc.), then looks at Mulder.
SCULLY
I think crass is being generous. It’s tumbleweeds and
tourists. You don’t actually expect me to believe
there’s some validity behind any of this is there?
MULDER
You said it yourself, Scully. There is no substantial
evidence to prove or disprove it either way.
SCULLY
However, I think what it’s obvious that what these
people have done is taken a myth, a modern lore if
you will, and constructed a truth around it that helps
perpetuate a reinforcing reality that helps boost the
economic prospects of an otherwise dead and dreay
town.
MULDER
And you said you weren’t gonna have any fun?
At the back of the cafe, Liz pours two cups of coffee as Maria stands next to
her.
MARIA
Who are the suits?
Liz and Maria look over and see Mulder and Scully talking to one another. Liz’s
gaze shifts to Max who smiles slightly.
LIZ
I don’t know. Just people passing by I suppose.
MARIA
Well, I don’t know about you... But the guy looks
kinda cute.
LIZ
How can you tell? All you can see is the back of his
head.
MARIA
He’s a vibrator, Liz. Trust me.
LIZ
They’re probably married.
MARIA
What makes you say that?
LIZ
The way they talk. Only people who are married talk
like that.
MARIA
Oh, really. What about people who have been
through some incredible circumstances, huh? Huh,
ring any bells?
LIZ
Okay, ha, ha. You got me.
Maria takes the cups of coffee from Liz who appears confused.
LIZ
What are you doing?
MARIA
Here. Let me handle Mr. and Mrs. Petticoat, while
you got and talk to Max.
Liz turns around and sees Max smiling at her as Michael rambles on.
LIZ
You are such a good friend.
MARIA
And a pretty one, too.
Maria walks up to Mulder and Scully’s booth and sets the coffee down.
MARIA
There you go. One coffee with cream, one black.
MULDER
Thank you.
Mulder and Scully slide the saucers across the table to each other.
SCULLY
Where’s the other waitress who was waiting on us?
MARIA
Oh, uh, we like to help each other out when it gets
real busy like this.
MULDER
Is it always this busy?
MARIA
It depends.
MULDER
I see. Are you from around here?
MARIA
Yeah. Born and raised. Not like that’s anything to be
proud of though...
MULDER
So, you probably know a lot about the crash then?
MARIA
Yeah, I suppose. I mean, I wasn’t around when it
happened like you two were...
Mulder and Scully shoot each other knowing looks...
MARIA
... I mean -- Not that you guys look that old. Oh, God.
It’s been a long day.
Mulder smiles.
MULDER
It’s okay. So, do you believe in extra terrestrials?
Maria’s eyes move toward Michael and Max, then back to Mulder.
MARIA
Yeah. I suppose...
Mulder nods and takes off his jacket. Maria immediately notices Mulder’s SIG
SAUER pistol in his waist holster, and her eyes go wide.
MULDER
It’s okay. We’re both FBI agents.
Maria notes this, but remains calm. Max turns around in the booth with an
concerned look on his face.
MARIA
Oh. I see.
SCULLY
We’re just here to check the crash site.
MULDER
My partner doesn’t believe in aliens.
MARIA
That’s too bad. I have to go now.
SCULLY
But what about our order?
Max watches Maria rush to the back of the cafe where she converses with Liz.
MICHAEL
What? What is it?!
Michael turns around and sees Maria whispering to Liz. Max then turns an ear
to Mulder and Scully’s booth:
SCULLY
That’s very strange, Mulder.
MULDER
What’s strange? She’s just a kid. You know how you
were at that age, Scully.
SCULLY
I don’t know. Something doesn’t seem right here.
Mulder turns around -- Max quickly faces Michael -- And sees Maria talking to Liz
in a secretive manner. Mulder then turns to Scully.
MULDER
You’re right. I think we may have stumbled upon the
greatest secret known to man: Teenage girls like to
talk while they’re on the job. Quick call the FBI office
in D.C. Alert the media.
On the other side of the booth, Max’s eyes go wide.
SCULLY
Very funny, Mulder. That’s not what I meant...
Max gets up...
MICHAEL
What?
Max walks over to Liz and Maria.
LIZ
The two sitting in the booth are FBI?!
MARIA
Yeah.
LIZ
FBI? Are you absolutely sure?
MARIA
Positive. The guy told me so himself.
MAX
She’s right. I overheard them talking. Why did they
say they’re here?
MARIA
They said they’re here to check out the crash site.
MAX
Is that all?
MARIA
Yeah.
Michael now stands beside Maria, Max and Liz.
MICHAEL
What’s going on guys?
Mulder sees the group conversing at the back of the cafe and turns to face
Scully.
MULDER
Looks like she’s quite the social butterfly.
SCULLY
Well, I wish she would spin a cocoon and take our
order then.
At the back of the restaurant...
MICHAEL
FBI? Oh, man. This bites. This can’t be good news. I
knew they had to be calling in reinforcements. Damn!
MAX
Agreed. I think we better leave out the back.
LIZ
Won’t that raise suspicions?
MAX
Well, I figure they’re already on to us, why walk right
out into a trap, and make it easy for them?
Liz nods.
LIZ
Be careful
MAX
I will. Catch you later?
LIZ
Always.
Michael and Maria stand looking at each other, not knowing what to say or do.
MARIA
Well... So, long.
MICHAEL
Yeah, you too.
Michael and Maria don’t move. Then Max starts for the back door as...
THE FRONT DOOR
Bursts open and THREE GUNMEN walk in wearing Alien masks and carrying
handguns. The leader is big, and wears a GRAY ALIEN mask. The other two are
tall and thin and wear GREEN ALIEN masks. Everybody becomes panic
stricken.
GRAY ALIEN
All right, this is hold up! Everybody get their heads
down now!
Max, Michael, Maria and Liz all stand at the back, petrified.
Mulder quickly unclips his HOLSTER from his right hip, and puts it next to him on
the seat on the left side, away from the gunman. Scully and Mulder then rest
their heads on the table.
Gray Alien walks forward sweeping his gun over the terrified customers.
GRAY ALIEN
My associates and I are here for the money, only! If
there are no heroes, we’ll be gone in less than a
minute and you can all go back to your boring little
lives!
Gray Alien beckons Maria with his gun.
GRAY ALIEN
You, Miss. You look like your work here. Open the
register now!
MARIA
Me?
GRAY ALIEN
Yes, you.
Maria slowly walks away from Max, Liz and Michael. Gray Alien grabs Maria by
the back of the neck and nearly rams her head through the cash register.
Michael looks like he wants to rip Gray Alien’s fucking head off.
GRAY ALIEN
Open it! Come on, I don’t got all day!
Maria, with tears in her eyes, opens the register. Gray Alien throws her aside
as the two Green Aliens walk to the service station.
Mulder and Scully nod to one another.
MULDER
Stands up with his pistol aimed directly at the group of Aliens.
MULDER
Federal Officer! Throw down your weapons and put
your hands over your head!
SCULLY
Stands with her gun aimed at the Aliens as well.
MARIA
Covers against a wall, crying.
GRAY ALIEN
Oh, no. You gotta be kidding me.
SCULLY
Federal Agents! Drop your weapons now!
Michael, Max and Liz stand in numbed shock. Gray Alien grabs MARIA and puts
his gun to her head.
GRAY ALIEN
No. You drop it!
MICHAEL
No!
Michael tries to rush over, but Max stops him. Gray Alien points his gun at
Michael and then back at Mulder and Scully.
MULDER
(to Michael)
Just stay there! Everything’s gonna be fine!
GRAY ALIEN
That’s what you think. Now, you two better drop your
guns or...
As Gray Alien continues on in the b.g. Max looks down the wall which leads to
the front of the cafe. It has alien memorabilia, most of which is mounted by wires
or in heavy frames.
SCULLY
Listen to me. There is no way out of here. Now, let
the girl go.
GRAY ALIEN
And give up our only insurance policy? Right. The
way I see it...
Max walks over to the wall and puts both hands on it. Max’s hands start to glow
as he closes his eyes.
GRAY ALIEN
...You’re out gunned. We’re the ones in control. So
it’s you who better drop their weapons.
THE ROOM
Begins to shake. The wall next to Gray Alien tremors violently as alien props
sway back and forth.
Mulder, Scully, and everybody else look around, confused.
GRAY ALIEN
What the...
ALIEN PICTURES
In heavy frames leap off he wall and hit Gray Alien. Gray Alien looses his
bearings as Maria is tossed aside.
MULDER
Fires his gun and hits...
GREEN ALIEN#1
Squarely in the chest. Green Alien#1 FIRES into the air and hits the
OVERHEAD SPRINKLERS as he falls to the floor. Water falls from the ceiling
as...
SCULLY
Fires her gun and hits...
GREEN ALIEN#2
In the shoulder. Green Alien#2 staggers forward amid SCREAMS and FIRES.
SCULLY
Is HIT in the lower abdomen and falls to the floor.
MULDER
Scully!
GREEN ALIEN#2
Is almost out the front door when...
MULDER
Shoots Green Alien#2 twice, sending Green Alien#2 backwards through the
front window. Green Alien#2 lands on the sidewalk, dead.
Mulder rushes over to Scully as the water begins to pool around her.
Michael rushes over to Maria as Maria buries her head in Michael’s chest.
GRAY ALIEN
Sees Mulder kneeling over Scully. Gray Alien points his pistol at Mulder’s back
as...
LIZ
Knocks the gun out of Gray Aliens hand with a FRYING PAN.
MULDER
Whips around and sees...
MAX
Sack Gray Alien into the wall like a NFL Quaterback. Gray Alien lays on the floor
unconscious.
Mulder turns back to Scully. Mulder tears open her blouse to reveal a crimson
pool of blood oozing from a hole in her stomach.
MULDER
Scully? Scully? Come on, you have to stay with me.
Michael leads Maria to the back as Max and Liz watch Mulder.
MULDER
(to Liz)
Call an ambulance! Tell them there’s been a felony
assault on a federal agent and that she’s has been
shot! Go!
Liz runs to the phone and starts punching buttons. As Liz speaks in the b.g...
MULDER
Come on, Scully.
Scully is barely lucid. Mulder presses his hand over the wound. Max looks at
Liz, knowingly. A moment of indecision passes between Max and Liz. Michael
looks at Max and shakes his head “no”.
MULDER
Stay with me, Scully. Stay with me!
Mulder grabs Scully’s limp hand.
TO BE CONTINUED
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