FanFic - Crossovers
"Talk Show Host"
Part 1
by Kes
Disclaimer: I do not own, no lawsuits please.
Summary: Max, Isabel, Michael, Liz, Maria and Alex try to have a normal weekend.
Category: Crossovers
Rating: PG-13
Talk Show Host
by Radiohead

I want to...
I want to be someone else or I'll explode
...Floating upon the surface for the birds
...the birds
...the birds

You want me?
F***ing come and find me
I'll be waiting...
With a gun and a pack of sandwiches
...and nothing

You want me?
Well come on and break the door down
You want me?
F****ing come on and break the door down
I'm ready...
I'm ready...
I'm ready...
I'm ready...
I'm ready...
I'm ready...

(Written by Radiohead)

Alex and Isabel are in the Jeep listening to the 'Romeo and Juliet' soundtrack. Track 11, Radiohead's 'Talk Show Host' is playing in the Jeep's CD player. Isabel moves her head to the music making her hair dance on her shoulders and back. Alex bobs his head up and down while slapping his hands on his skinny thighs for extra beat.

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon in the month of June. Isabel has been shopping with Alex since the crack of dawn. Alex volunteered to keep Isabel company, but she only consented to him coming along with her when he said,"I know they look scrawny, but these are strong arms. They can carry a lot of shopping bags and not get tired." With that said, Isabel's face ignited with a vision of Alex carrying hundreds of bags and they were off to comb the stores with her mom's credit cards. (Her mom gave her permission to use the credit cards.)

At a store (Hecht's) in mall number 4 (on Isabel's itinerary of malls), Alex became indignant in line and embarrassed Isabel. "Oh come cashier for 40 people in line?! The line to hell is probably not this long!" Isabel gave him her and Max's signature look that meant, "Shut up, Michael," substituting it for Alex. Now they were on their way to their fifth mall.

Immediately after turning into the parking lot of mall number 5, they see a man running through parked cars from a security guard.

"I wonder what he stole." Curious, Isabel stops the Jeep to watch.

"That guy looks like..." Alex squints his eyes trying to better his focus, "Cade Foster."

Right in front of them, the guy running from the security guard is shot twice, once in the back and once in the leg near a b.f.e. opening of the parking lot.

Preoccupied with the events unfolding, Isabel does not hear Alex's comment. "I've never known rent-a-cops to carry real guns. Not even the real cops would shoot you down for stealing something. No, something about this is not right." Isabel floors the gas pedal of the Jeep across the parking lot and slows down enough to safely bump the security guard away from firing a shot into the shot down man's head. Upon impact with Isabel's Jeep, the security guard is struck down to the pavement. The security guard then convulses and dissolves before the shot down man, Isabel and Alex.

"It is Cade! Isabel, that's Cade Foster! We have got to help him!" Alex gets out of the stopped Jeep, runs to Cade, slings Cade's arm around his neck and begins to carefully drag Cade to the Jeep.

Isabel is in shock. "I just tapped that security guard. How could he dissolve like that? How could anyone just dissolve like that?"

Alex spots 4 more security guards holding guns running across the parking lot in their direction. After securing Cade across the back seat, Alex runs around to the driver's side door of the Jeep. "Isabel, scoot over! I'll drive! We have to get out of here, like yesterday!" Isabel scoots over to the passenger seat, Alex hops in and squeals wheels before even shutting the door. Shots ring out and Isabel screams.

Cade moans in pain in the back seat. Isabel waves her hand and camouflages the Jeep to look invisible. The firing stops.

"Wow Isabel, I can't see the Jeep in the rear view mirror anymore. That's incredible! I did not know you could do that!" Alex exclaims while looking at Isabel.

"It's a news flash to me, too...wonder what else I can do with a shower of gun shots firing in my direction." With her right hand, Isabel nervously runs her fingers through her hair. "Oh, but I just thought of a drawback. If the terminator rent-a-cops can't see us, nobody else can probably see us either!"

Just then, a Jetta turns in front of them. Alex realizes that he is still driving but he has been looking at Isabel and not the parking lot. Alex sees that he's about to hit the Jetta and screams like a girl. The Jeep slams head on into the Jetta.

Maria, Liz, Max and Michael (uninjured) pour out of the Jetta in disbelief that they have just hit nothing, really hard. Max surveys the parking lot, then quickly waves his hand in front of where the Jetta was hit, repairing the damage.

"Thanks, Max." Maria touches the front of the repaired Jetta.

"Max!" Isabel is relieved to see her brother and the gang. Max spins around. "Something really weird is going down! We need your help!"

"Isabel? I can hear you but I can't see you. Where are you? What's going on?" Max tries to follow his sister's voice.

"Here they come!" Alex sees the terminator rent-a-cops walking back to the mall while scratching their heads.

Isabel opens the door quickly, yanks Max into the invisible Jeep and slams the door. She points to Cade, who is fading in and out of consciousness. "Alex and I saw this guy almost get executed in the parking lot by a rent-a-cop. It was unreal. We rescued him. But that's not all, I bumped the rent-a-cop with the Jeep and the rent-a-cop dissolved."

Max covers his eyes with his hands and rubs his eyes. "What I would not give for just one normal weekend...just one."

"That's Cade Foster, Max. He's a good guy. I've read all about him on the internet." Alex's eyes are wide and he looks honest.

"Yeah, and everything on the internet is true, Alex." Max sounds sarcastic and his hands still cover his eyes. He sighs out loud.

Alex persists, "Cade is tangled in a sticky alien conspiracy. I always kind of half believed his on-line journals. Now I'm a full believer. Max, he's trying to stop Armageddon!" Alex grabs Max's shoulder in desperation.

"Max, you probably had to see that rent-a-cop dissolve to believe it for yourself...but I know what I saw. Please believe us." Isabel pleads while looking at her brother. "Cade is bleeding to death, Max; I feel him dying and I know you can feel it too!"

Max rubs his eyes one more time, groans and then places his hands on Cade's chest. Max's hands glow and a minute later Cade is healed. A cellular telephone rings from Cade Foster's jacket. Cade looks at Isabel, Alex and Max for a second before answering the telephone.

"Eddie? Is this line secure? It is? Good, Eddie...Man, I was shot down at a mall in Roswell, New Mexico. No, I'm not hurt at all, actually. My blood is everywhere, but I'm not bleeding. No, I don't know how! Right now? Right now I'm in a shot up Jeep with teeny-bops, Eddie. I'll call you back." Cade hits the end button on his cellular telephone and stares with a bewildered facial expression at Max. "Are you...GUA?"

"No, I'm Max Evans. This is my sister, Isabel Evans and that's our friend, Alex Whitman." Max begins before Isabel rudely cuts him off.

"And we are NOT teeny-bops!" Isabel protests cutting her eyes at Cade.

Max continues,"You're fine now and you're safe, for the moment."

Maria, Michael and Liz hop back into the Jetta. Worried about hitting the nothing again, Maria slowly parks the car. As soon as Maria turns the car off, sirens ring out. Sheriff Valenti screeches his wheels, jumps out his truck (leaving his blue and red lights flashing) and talks to the security guards. Valenti notices the Jetta through the corner of his eye and gives it a quick glimpse. The security guards go back inside the mall and Valenti walks over to the Jetta.

"You kids might want to go to a different mall, today. A fugitive has been spotted here. His name is Cade Foster. He killed his wife and countless other innocent people across the country. With the exception of his wife's body, the bodies of his other victims have never been found." Valenti leans on Maria's rolled down driver's side window and peers into the Jetta. "Where is the rest of your entourage?"

Maria shrugs her shoulders. Liz stares blankly at Valenti without blinking. Michael looks around, "They're not here," he sasses.

"That's obvious enough, smart ass." Valenti tips his hat. "I don't have time to play the usual game of charades with you kids, today. So, until next time..." He pivots on his heel and walks back to his truck, turns the sirens off and speeds away across the parking lot.

Isabel waves her left hand which takes off the Jeep's invisible camouflage and exposes several bullet holes, shot out windows and serious looking front impact damage from the Jeep's collision with Maria's Jetta. Michael, Maria and Liz fly out of the Jetta and hasten over to the Jeep. They gasp when they see that Alex, Isabel and Max have company.

"Don't tell me, let me guess...Cade Foster, right?" Maria says in Cade's direction. Still trying to take everything in and figure everything out, Cade shakes his head slowly, replying to her question.

Index | Part 2
Max/Liz | Michael/Maria | Alex/Isabel | UC Couples | Valenti | Other | Poetry | Crossovers | AfterHours
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