|"With me still"
by Lovely Poet
Disclaimer: I only own Roswell in my dreams, and oh what
dreams they are
Summary: Opening up to people definitely has its rewards
Category: After Hours
Authors Note: this is a response to Melissa's Challenge. Post SH M&M smut with a sweet waking up scene. Semi-inspired by the lyrics of the Angie Paris song "With Me Still” hence the title. Many thanks to loki for the feedback on the beginning where there was actually a plot and something for me to worry about ;-)
|**I was lost and I was bound
And determined in my heart
That I would never be found
But you saw through it all, and you were near
And while I traveled mind and soul
Searching for what would fulfill
You were with me still
It takes a strong one to stand by me
Anger blew a cloud over my heart
It takes a strong one to stand by me
There was no such thing as a comfortable silence in Maria's opinion. She always felt uncomfortable in the silences, especially the silences with Michael, but for the first time she couldn't think of anything to do or say to fill the space between words. She hadn't even intended to go into his apartment, the whole thing was supposed to at least be quick if not painless, knock on the door, tell him why she did what she did and walk away before he could slam the door in her face. The invitation to come in was only the first shock of the morning. The second was hearing the way he said her name just before he proved that she wasn't closed off. The biggest was that his arm was still wrapped snugly around her shoulder, pulling her body against his. But despite all these wonderful shocks, the silence still bothered her.
"I should get going." They weren't the words she wanted to say but they spilled forth anyway. She moved to disentangle herself from Michael's grasp only to find that he would not release her. Maria ceased her struggling and looked at him. There was a storm brewing behind his eyes that made her skin tingle.
"What if I don't want you to go?" The loaded question hung in the air between them and Maria licked her lips nervously as Michael's stare scorched her. Before she had a chance to formulate an answer his lips brushed against hers gently, reverentially in a kiss of penance for all the previous indifference. Her lips parted under his gentle onslaught and she smiled under the kiss as his tongue swept across her lips tasting her, not surprised when he pulled back and stared at her for a moment.
"Strawberry?" He asked as he licked the traces of her lip-gloss from his own lips. She laughed aloud and nodded as he leaned back in to kiss her again. She met his lips with no trepidation her mouth firm against his, tongue stroking his as he explored her mouth as thoroughly as he had in the previous days, but with a new level of tenderness. He wasn't seeking anything but her and she had nothing to prove.
Maria felt skin under her hands and realized without meaning to, she had slid her palms under the ratty T-shirt that Michael wore. As she began to pull her hand away, she felt his fingers edge up under the hemline of her shirt slinking toward her satin covered breasts. Tearing her lips from his reluctantly she broke into the moment and the mood, already wondering what was possessing her to possibly make the same mistake that had lead to this morning.
"I need to tell you something." She said flatly as she pushed Michael back finally finding herself free of his arms, suddenly wishing she weren't. "I've done this before."
"Yeah, several times if I recall correctly." Michael replied trying to turn the focus back on to their kisses.
"No, Michael, I mean I've done IT before." Maria cringed, waiting for him to recoil at her revelation of impurity. When he simply sat and stared at her she felt the need to expound. "Last year, no one knows. Not my mom, not Liz. But I had been dating this guy for a few weeks and, well he said… he said he loved me and I believed him and…"
"I don't care." Michael put his hand against her mouth to stop her confessions. "You don't have to tell me everything you've ever done. It doesn't matter what you did last year or the year before…"
"Yes Michael, it does." Maria toyed with the cuff of her sleeve before continuing. "You can see into my head. That makes me a little uneasy here, and there are some things that I'm ashamed of and I rather you hear them from me than see them inside my mind. I had sex with a jerk who told me he loved me and dumped me when he got me home that night. I faked it with him too so don't feel bad. It's just if this keeps going, I don't want to have to lie to you about being my first."
Michael suppressed an embarrassed smile.
"I put up a lot of resistance to people and things and I'm scared out of my mind right now because I care about you so much and I don't want you be like everyone else I've cared about. So it you're planning on walking away, I'd really rather you do it right now and not wait until I'm even more attached…"
Michael stopped her mid babble and drew her too him. "Maria! I have no plans on going anywhere anytime soon. I’m not exactly an open book either.” He paused and absorbed a withering glare of the “that’s an understatement” variety from Maria. “I didn’t want to get close. But you haven’t given me much choice and to be honest, it’s not half bad.”
“Not half bad?” Maria fired back at him as she smacked his arm softly. “That’s the best you can do?”
Michael grabbed her hand stopping her assault on him and turned in palm up. As he stared down at her, tracing the fine lines on the soft skin. He slowly raised her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to its center folding her fingers over the spot of contact.
“You are quite possibly the most incredibly, annoyingly persistent human I’ve ever met. You don’t know when to give up, you don’t understand the meaning of the word ‘no’ and never listen to a thing I say…” He swallowed hard and took a deep breath before finishing the thought. “And I can’t possibly thank you enough. Thank you Maria, for understanding that I didn’t even know what was best for me. Thank you putting up with all my shit and yelling at me when I needed someone to yell at me and for knowing when I couldn’t talk.”
“And how about when you shouldn’t talk?” Maria asked just before she leaned in and recaptured his perfect lips. Her arms snaked around his neck and drew him onto her as she leaned back on the couch.
Tangled together in a mass of reaching limbs and mutual sensation the two began the instinctual dance of lovers. Lips and hands caressed skin where it was available and pulled at clothing to bring further access. Michael allowed Maria to help him off with his shirt as he balanced above her.
As soon as his skin was hers to explore, her hungry mouth latched onto the curve of his shoulder. She felt him harder further against her thigh as she redoubled her attentions, stopping only to cry out when she felt his hand cover a breast through the thin confines of her bra.
His body shifted suddenly on the narrow couch and before she realized, Maria was perched above him, knees digging into the cushions on either side of his hips. She pushed against his chest, driving her up until she towered over him. His hands took hold of her waist and he pressed her down onto his firm arousal eliciting twin moans of pleasure.
In one swift movement, Maria’s shirt was gone and she guided Michael’s hands up her body and around her back to the clasp of her bra. His fingers fumbled with the torturous hook and eye system until he finally gave up on being traditional. Placing his palm flat over the clasp he waited for a moment and the halves gave way.
“Cheater,” teased Maria as she let the slip of material slid down the front of her body.
“It got the job done didn’t it?” Michael growled as his hands moved back to the front of her body to cup her breasts. He gently massaged the soft flesh until he felt her nipples harden under his palms and he leaned up to capture one in him mouth.
“Mmmm,” Maria moaned as she felt the gentle suction of his mouth against her breast and raked her blunt nails down his chest to the waistband of his sweats. “I wouldn’t say the job is done quite yet.
Maria shifted over him leaving all contact behind until she was standing next to the couch her fingers poised nimbly at the top of her jeans. Michael stopped her hand with his and knelt before her, his eyes aflame with want.
“Please?” She wordlessly nodded her consent and he began his work. The button at her waist slipped open and slowly- so very slowly- the zipper inched down. He began to work the rough denim down her legs taking her panties with it. He yanked her shoes and socks off and helped her step out of the puddled clothing. “Beautiful. You’re so beautiful”
She fell back onto the couch as he worked him hands and lips up her body kissing her calf and drawing his mouth further up until he reached the scar that accentuated the perfect curve of her hip. His tongue traces the jagged silver-white line before continuing his course.
Maria felt his mouth against her inner thigh and bit back a moan as his fingers teased her lower lips gathering her moisture. Her eyes fluttered closed and all that was left was sensation. She stopped trying to suppress the moan when his finger slipped into her tight passage. A second finger soon joined the first and Maria felt her hips arch up into his hand, seeking a release for the pressure he was creating.
She didn’t have to wait long for the release. His fingers were joined by his mouth and with a sudden sweep of his tongue across her aching clit, she came, her body trembling and shaking, his name caught in her throat.
“How-?” Maria started when her brain finally returned to her and pieced together her senses.
“I told you,” Michael said grinning, “I saw a lot of stuff other than the red sneakers… So what exactly is it with you and fruit?”
Maria blushed furiously but manages a calm reply. “If you stick around long enough, maybe you’ll find out.”
“I just might take you up on that,” he replied before she bent and took his mouth with hers dragging him up off his knees. As he rose to meet her kiss, she stripped him quickly of his sweats. She boldly ran her hand over his erection, enjoying the feeling of power she received when her name passed his lips in a hoarse cry.
“Oh God! Maria, Maria” And again as her long fingers encircled and stroked him. He reached for box on the floor beside him, his hand returning with a small foil package. Maria took it from him and quickly tore it open rolling the condom down over his hard cock.
As she lay back across the couch, he positioned himself. There was no need to seek assurances of her desires as she guided him to her entrance. He slid in slowly, gently, determined to give her everything her first time had lacked and she gasped at the fullness she had felt only once before.
Maria’s body arched up into Michael, drawing him further inside her. They slid into a rhythm quickly and easily, his hips rising as hers sank into the couch and their bodies racing to meet each other again. The sheen of lovers’ sweat covered them and Maria felt the tight pressure spread out to encompass her entire body, every fiber suddenly ignited with the energy of a newborn universe. She closed her eyes tightly as the stars began to fall down around her in brilliant explosions of color.
Their bodies moved with a desperate urgency, trying to deny the moment and end. Her hands clawed at his back, her legs wrapped around him trying to turn them into one being. His mouth followed her throat leaving a trail of lustful kisses leading to her mouth.
“Maria…God, Maria,” Michael chanted as his hand traversed her slick body writhing beneath his. Over her breasts heaving with each breath, across her smooth stomach quivering and jolting with every thrust of their bodies to the point where they joined, his fingers moved quickly to press her closer to the abyss.
“Yes, Michael—oh god Michael, yes.” Her body arched up under his one more time as she fell over the falls into orgasm. Her muscles clenched, holding Michael tight and pulling him into completion after her. His body went weak and he collapsed half on top of her, his weight almost comforting. Sliding out and off of her, he pulled her to his chest, as they rained kisses on lips, cheeks and closed eyes letting the aftermath of ecstasy lull them to sleep in each others arms.
He was still asleep but she wasn’t. Maria had woken up thrilling at the feel of his body, his skin pressed against hers. Soon though, the confines of lying still pressed against him on the narrow couch to keep from falling to the floor became too much and she forced herself to leave his embrace.
She was sitting on the floor in front of him now, wearing only the T-shirt that she had stripped from him a few hours earlier and eating dry cereal. She watched as his chest rose and fell with peaceful sleep and his eyes fluttered behind their lids in a dream that she hoped she was part of. The room was silent and she was ok with that, she didn’t need the distractions of other things to drown out the voices in her head. For once, the voices were saying things she wanted to hear. ‘He loves you, he wanted you to stay. He’s not going to run away. He thinks you’re beautiful.’ They were all echoing around every synapse of her brain but the most important thing she reminded herself is what he hadn’t said but she had heard anyway. ‘He loves your imperfections, your scars.’
Michael turned on the couch and opened his eyes; there were no preliminaries of waking up for him. One moment he was deep in dreams the next he was staring straight into the eyes of his own personal angel.
“Hey, why’d you leave?” He looked at her sitting there in the middle of his room and was tempted to join her on the floor.
“Couldn’t sleep, I felt like I was going to fall off the couch. You want something to eat?” Maria amazed herself with the comfort she felt in just talking to him.
“Nah, not really hungry.” He grabbed his sweats of the floor and yanked them on as he sat up. “Just a little lonely.”
“No reason to be lonely, I’m right here,” she replied simply as she continued to pick at the crunchberries in her bowl.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “But I’d rather you were right here.” He patted the couch cushion next to him and smiled as she moved off the floor and resettled into his arms on the couch.
“That better?” she asked innocently.
“Much,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed the back of her neck. “You are amazing you know that? Anyone else would have run away and never looked back if they had to put up with me. But you… you just-“
“I know, I know, I’m wonderful and perfect and you couldn’t possibly live without me,” Maria teased. “I love you too space boy.”
“I really do, love you, I mean.” Michael turned her to face him, making sure that she would see he was telling the truth.
“I know.” Maria smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck and gently leaning her forehead against his. “You told me already.”
Michael looked at her, his confusion evident. “No I didn’t. I never said—“
“Oh, you said it. You might not have said it out loud, but I heard it and I felt it. And I think I have to take back my accusations. You Michael Guerin are most definitely not cold and closed off.”
The implications of her words were not lost on him, but he knew there would be plenty of time to ask her exactly what she saw. Times when it wasn’t so important to make it clear that, vision or no vision, touching her, loving her and being with her was going to be at the top of his priorities for a long time to come. His hand slid up her thigh and began to run absently along the thin line of the scar he’d found earlier. Someday he’d ask her about that too, but right now, there were more important questions.
“So, you ready to tell me about the fruit?”
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