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"Growing Up, Growing Apart, and Falling in Love" |
Part 6 by Dee |
Disclaimer: Roswell, the characters, and situations are owned by the WB. No infringement intended. Category: After Hours Rating: NC-17 |
"So who's the guy outside?" Max asked, coming fully into the apartment. He
took off his jacket and laid it across the back of the recliner. "That's Ed. My bodyguard slash limo driver," Maria provided a little self-consciously, "Why did he say something to you?" Max shrugged as if unconcerned. "It doesn't matter." His eyes pierced Liz. "I'm getting used to coming home and finding strange men in my house." Liz paled a little at Max's embittered remark. Maria felt caught between slapping him and wanting to hug him. He looked like he'd just survived The Hundred Years War. His expression was so bleak, so disillusioned when he looked at Liz that Maria couldn't help but feel pity for him. But in spite of all that Maria wanted to shake him as well. Couldn't he see that Liz was eaten up with guilt as it was? Oh, now, she might look a little happy, covered in flour and pancake batter, laughing like a schoolgirl, but inside her there was absolute misery. However, seeing things from Max's standpoint Maria had to crush her indignant feelings. She could understand how it looked to Max, who had just discovered the day before that his girlfriend was cheating on him. He had to think that Liz didn't care at all. He was probably thinking that cheating on him was one thing, but couldn't Liz at least pretend to be sorry about it. Maria felt torn. She wanted to stay and support Liz, but she felt like if she did she would be supporting what Liz had done as well. And Max was her friend, too. Whatever needed discussing between the two of them needed to stay between the two of them. Maria decided to make herself scarce. "I know you both need to talk," Maria said, looking back and forth between them, "I'll just have Ed take me for a bite to eat, ok." She turned and gave Liz a kiss on the cheek. "It'll be ok, babe," she whispered to Liz, "Just be honest with him about how you feel." And then she stepped back and said loudly, "Just give me a minute to get cleaned up?" Maria looked at Max, silently asking his permission. "Go ahead," he told her woodenly then gave her directions to find the bathroom. Both he and Liz watched as Maria grabbed her garment bag and headed towards the back of the apartment. Neither of them spoke until they heard the bathroom door click shut. "When did you call her?" Max asked. "Yesterday afternoon," Liz said as she bent down and began cleaning the mess she and Maria had made, "I needed someone, Max." "What was wrong with your boyfriend?" Max said caustically, "He seemed to suit you just fine the other day." Liz sat back on the floor, massaging her temples. "Max, I don't want to be with Cam. You have to believe that." "I don't have to believe anything, Liz. Much less anything that comes out of your mouth." Liz could see that any attempt to reason with him would be futile. His feelings of hurt betrayal had been replaced by an angry bitterness. No, he wouldn't be in any mood to reason with Liz. He only wanted to hurt her as much as she had hurt him. "So was that the first time? You know, that you slept with him?" "Yes, Max! It was the only time." The last time, Liz added silently. She didn't bother to try to reassure him aloud because she knew he wouldn't believe her anyway. Max nodded; digesting the information she'd given him, trying to decide whether or not he believed her. After a few minutes he sighed heavily and came to squat down in front of her. "I just don't understand why you did it, Liz." "I told you," Liz stressed, her brown eyes pleading with him to understand, "I saw you with Tess, and I just lost it, Max. I felt like my whole world was crumbling to see you both together." For an instant, Max wanted to comfort her, to kiss her tears away. He just wanted to go to bed and wrap himself in her, to forget that yesterday had even happened. But he couldn't get the image of them out of his mind, pink and rumpled from sex. Max's stomach clenched at the thought and for a moment he thought he was going to be sick again. Yesterday he had been so upset that he'd actually become physically ill. He knew he couldn't possibly come home and face Liz and so he had stayed gone all night, drinking with T.J. and trying to forget Liz. "I went to the café to buy you a cappuccino and your favorite bagel. I thought we'd kill some time in bed before I had to go to work because I got done with my group early. I saw Tess," Max paused to assimilate Liz's reaction to what he was telling her. Although he was angry and hurt it was extremely important to him that Liz understand that nothing had gone on between him and Tess. Max reevaluated his earlier feelings. Maybe he didn't want to hurt Liz like he hurt at all. He continued on in his story, trying not to focus on that new realization too much. "She said she and Michael were going to travel across the country, following up some FBI leads that Michael has. She asked me to come with them, but I said no. I told her I wished her luck and that was it. We said good-bye." "When I saw you both, you were sitting really close together," Liz explained lamely, "You looked really intimate." "Well, we're discussing highly classified FBI information," Max clarified a little sarcastically, "We didn't want just anyone to overhear us." Liz's reply was cut off by Maria's sudden emergence from the bathroom. When Maria came into the kitchen she was once again incognito, sunglasses and wig in place. "I'm gonna be gone a few hours, ok?" she told Liz, grabbing up her purse, "I know you both have a lot to talk about." She turned to look at Max. "Try not to be too hard on her, Max. She really does love you." "I'll try," Max replied mildly, not wanting to argue, "It was good to see you, Maria." "Yeah, you too. You don't have to be a stranger, you know. You and Liz can come and visit New York anytime." After she left Max looked back at Liz, his expression forlorn. "It must be nice to have a friend you can call when you need someone," he remarked softly. "You have friends," Liz said as a way of comfort. "Yeah, but I really needed to talk to my best friend last night." "And what did Michael say?" "I wasn't talking about Michael, Liz. I was talking about you. You're my best friend. . .at least. . .you were. . ." "Oh, Max," Liz whispered brokenly. She wanted to hold him, to beg his forgiveness. Wouldn't be wonderful if she could make everything up to him in kisses? She thought the most precious thing she could possibly give him at that moment was her body. But she considered that he wouldn't view it as all that precious since she had so freely and cheaply given it to someone else. Liz wished fervently that the floor would open and swallow her up. She felt that low. "Liz, don't you see what's happened," Max asked, his eyes filling with tears, "Our relationship isn't the only thing in jeopardy now. You've compromised our friendship as well." "Max, I- " "T.J. said I could crash with him until I get things straightened out here at home." "You're staying at the bar?" Liz asked in disappointed hurt. "He could have fired on the spot last night for coming in for my shift late and drunk. As it was, he was a really good friend to me last night." "So you're not going to stay here?" It was seeing her cry, witnessing firsthand how much his decision tore her apart, that broke Max's tenuous thread of control. The tears that had been swimming in his eyes finally brimmed over. "I can't stay here, Liz," he explained brokenly, "Every time I look at you all I see. . . ." He trailed off, unable to finish. They looked at one another for a long, tortured moment, silently understanding what remained unspoken between the two of them. "I think we need time apart, Liz." Liz wanted to protest, but she knew that wouldn't be fair. She had hurt him deeply. He deserved to have time to himself to sort things out. Liz found herself echoing the words she'd said to him when he'd taken his step back so long ago. "Well. . .yeah, Max. . .if that's what you want." "It's what I need, Liz. I feel just as lost as you do right now." He stood up and wiped at his wet cheeks. "I think we both need time to figure out what we want." Liz nodded, but inside she was screaming and screaming. "I'm just gonna go pack a few things." Liz watched him walk back towards their bedroom, feeling as if her heart were breaking all over again. TBC. . . |
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