FanFic - Max/Liz
"Change"
Part 9
by Anne
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell or any of the characters. I have no affiliation with the WB Television Network or the Author, Melinda Metz.
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: R
Authors Note: Lyrics are from Carly Simon.
Sunrise --

Liz gradually awakens on this, her first morning at home with her new husband. She sits up and rubs her eyes tiredly and glances at Max's sleeping face. He looked like a fantasy in the glow of light that was coming through the window. Liz wished she could just curl up beside him and sleep on, but she knew the importance of meditating, and she had missed quite a few days lately. She was not feeling very rested this morning. In a flash, she remembered the dream she'd had last night. Well, not exactly a dream . . . more like a nightmare. How strange. She grabs her robe from off of the bed post and wraps it around her. It was chilly. Maybe that would help her wake up . . . something certainly needed to. She quietly slips out her front door and settles down on the front porch in her usual spot. Focusing on her breathing, she counts on until . . .

*****************************

. . . descending the stairs into her special place, she lights the candles as she walks by them. She looks around the room and feels . . . at peace. This was a glorious place. Nothing could ever hurt her here. She was safe. Safe. Sort of like she felt whenever she was with Max. She smiled at the thought and settled into her chair. Her mind produced several images of her husband, and they were all wonderful, happy pictures. As long as they were together, she knew that she would always be living a dream. No matter how difficult their lives might become, she was content to know that they would be together. Then her thoughts turned towards the baby. She hadn't had a lot of time to dwell on this new little person. Max's baby. Amazing. She wondered if it was a girl or a boy. It didn't matter at all to her. She patted her still flat tummy, and was just certain she had a really silly grin on her face right now. She hears someone coming down the stairs and straightens in her chair. River Dog and Eddie both enter the room and she greets them good morning. They sit down with her, and Liz is suddenly aware of their solemn expressions.

River Dog: "Are you well?"

Liz: "Yes . . . very."

River Dog: "Has anything unusual occurred?"

Liz: (sitting forward a little) "Well, other than a peculiar craving for Tabasco sauce and a bad dream . . ."

River Dog: "A bad dream? Tell me."

Liz (smiling at him): "It was nothing really . . . probably too much of the sauce in my food."

Eddie (smiling, too): "Probably."

River Dog (gently): "Tell me."

Liz (shrugs): "There's not much to tell. I was running through the woods and the baby was coming. I was trying to get to the cave and to you, but I couldn't find Max. It seemed as if someone else was out there, too. It was frightening."

River Dog: "I, too, had this dream." (very serious)

Liz glances at Eddie in silent question.

Eddie: (wishing he could say something else) " ' fraid so."

Liz: (perplexed) "All of us had the same dream? How weird is that?"

River Dog: "I feel that something is very wrong in this dream. We must be prepared to face whatever it is, when the time comes."

Eddie: "What can we do?"

River Dog: (to Liz) "Make sure that nothing interrupts your meditation schedule. Let me know if you have anymore dreams, or if anything else unusual happens."

Eddie: (noticing Liz's anxious expression) "Don't worry . . . we'll be here for you. It will be alright."

Liz: (overwhelmed) "You two have no idea what you mean to me . . . I don't know what I would've done . . ."

River Dog (smiling): "Everything works toward a purpose. Remember that.

Eddie: (teasing) "Haven't seen her this weepy since she first got here."

Liz (casting him an evil glare): "Watch it, buddy." "Pregnant ladies aren't known for their tolerance."

Eddie (throwing his hands up): "I surrender."

River Dog: "We will leave you now to continue, but remember . . . it's very important that you keep up the discipline. I can't explain, but I know you must.

Liz gets up to embrace them both before they leave, and then goes back to her chair to mull over what they said. She was concerned, but nothing could squelch the joy she felt today. She made her self settle down to the business at hand and focused on her breathing once more, going still deeper . . .

***************************

. . . descending again, but there were no stairs here and no candles or chairs. There were no walls, no boundaries at all. No gravity. Just a beautiful light . . .

***************************

An hour later -

Liz gets up from her spot on the front porch, and walks back in the house. Max will have to get up in about a half hour to get ready to leave for work. She walks back to the bedroom and stops in the doorway. How could he get more beautiful every time she looked at him? She walks over to the bed and deposits her robe back on the bed post. As she settles on the bed, Max wakes up and pulls her over beside him.

Max: (without opening his eyes yet) "Come here."

She leans over and he pulls her down so he can kiss her. Just when Liz is thinking about deepening the kiss, Max pulls back and opens his eyes.

Max: "Tell me."

Liz: (startled) "Good grief. I think I just had a major case of "deja' vu."

Max: "What d'ya mean?"

Liz: "River Dog said that exact same thing to me this morning."

Max: (puzzled) "River Dog was here?"

Liz (smiling): "All depends on your definition I suppose, but yeah, in a manner of speaking."

Max: "You' ve been meditating this morning . . ." (tucking a strand of hair behind her ear)

Liz: "Yep."

Max: "So, is everything o.k.?"

Liz: (a little too cheery) "Everything's fine."

Max: "Uh huh." (unconvinced)

Liz: (giving in) "Well, except for the dream . . ."

Max: "I think nightmare would be a better word . . ."

Liz: "Yeah . . . umm, River Dog had it, too."

Max (stunned): "He did?"

Liz: "Yes, and so did Eddie."

Max (fighting just a teensy bit of jealousy now): "Really . . . . . . "

Liz leans down and kisses him again.

Liz: "You are so funny."

Max: (not seeing any humor at this moment) "Why?"

Liz: "Because, I adore you, and would be insanely jealous if I thought some other female was sharing your dreams. However, you just don't need to worry about Eddie."

Max: (a little embarassed that she read him so easily) "I'm not worried . . ."

Liz: (sing-song) "Liar, Liar, pants on fire . . ."

Max: (eyes darkening with passion) "You have no idea . . . " (pulling her back down and kissing her soundly)

Max: "Now, tell me."

Liz: (disappointed) "Couldn't we talk about it later . . . (licking her lips and watching his)

Max: (groaning and sitting up before she can distract him) "No."

Liz: (sighing) "The baby was coming . . . I was running . . . couldn't find you . . . someone else might've been there, too. That about covers it. Now, can we . . . "

Max: (shaking his head, bemused) "I don't think I even knew you could talk that fast."

Liz: "You'd be amazed . . ." (dropping her eyes back to his mouth)

Max: (succumbing to the look on her face) "We will finish this conversation . . . "

Liz: "Of course . . . later . . . " (nibbling her way along his jaw)

Max: (laughing) "I'm not sure yet which one takes precedence, but I can see that food and making love are at the top of your priority chain right now."

Liz: (grinning) "I can help you out with which one comes first."

Max: (pulling her astride his lap) "I'll bet."

Later that morning --

Liz walks in the door to hear the phone ringing. She picks it up, and is delighted to hear Maria on the other end.

Maria: "So!?!? We are like dying here . . . what happened with your folks?"

Liz: "Oh . . . yeah . . . well, it was pretty awful, but they're o.k."

Maria: "Well you're still alive and that's saying a lot."

Liz (laughing): "True."

Maria: (quietly) "Listen, Lizzie, I need to ask you something."

Liz (a little worried): "What?"

Maria: "Would you be my maid-of honor? No, wait, that's not right. I mean my matron-of-honor?"

Liz: (with a little squeak) "Maria! When? Of course! You know I will."

Maria: (laughing) "End of next month. Isabel's sort of decided to like plan the whole thing."

Liz: "Isabel?" "Wow . . . sounds . . . strenuous . . ."

Maria: "Yeah, I know what you mean, but her heart's in the right place."

Liz: "Who could know?" (can't help cracking atleast one alien joke)

Maria: "Ixnay on the ashingbay . . . I'm not alone here."

Liz: "Oh, sorry . . . sort of couldn't help it."

Maria: "Try."

Liz: (still chuckling) "Okay. Okay."

Maria: "Oh, and by the way, Isabel said something about a bachelorette night before the wedding . . ."

Liz: "Oh, yeah . . . I'm not sure, Maria . . ."

Maria: "C'mon Lizzie . . . you have to come . . . it wouldn't be the same without you."

Liz: "Alright . . . but no, and I mean no, drinking."

Maria: "I promise . . . besides, I'm no better off than you in that department, and neither is Isabel for that matter."

Liz: "I can't believe we are going to have babies at the same time. This is pretty cool, Maria."

Maria: "I know . . . we can like compare notes . . . "

Liz (serious now): "It's so good to hear you so happy . . . "

Maria: "You, too, Lizzie." "Well, I better go" (sounding very distracted)

Liz: "Maria? You, okay?"

Suddenly a stream of giggles comes across the phone line and Liz smiles to herself and hangs up. Obviously, Maria was indeed "not" alone.

Liz bounces out the door on cloud nine, and heads for the center to see her "little prince." She missed him. He was so sweet. She hadn't spent as much time with him lately as usual. She hurries on her way, and gets there in record time. Heading down the hall, she stops to say "hello," to some friends, and thinks that her life is absolutely perfect. She gets lots of "congratulations," and a few newlywed jokes, before arriving at the door to the nursery. She walks in and looks around, but her little man is no where to be found. Puzzled, she walks back out and runs into Eddie in the hall. She smiles at him in greeting, but the smile falls apart at the look on his face. What was this all about?

Liz: "Eddie?"

Eddie (grabbing her hand and taking her into a small office): "I'm sorry, Liz. I haven't had a chance to talk to you about the adoption."

Liz: (all color draining out of her face) "Adoption?" "What . . . ?"

Eddie: "I didn't want to tell you before you left for your wedding. I didn't want anything to ruin that time for you."

Liz: (understanding seeping in) "Eddie . . . ?"

Eddie: "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." "He's with his new parents now . . . and they are head over heels in love with him."

Liz: (barely hanging on to any semblance of control) "I'm sorry . . . I know I should be happy for him . . ."

Eddie: "Don't apologize. I know how much you loved him."

Liz: "I don't think I knew how much until right now. Oh God . . . this hurts. (tears . . . damn, more tears . . . how many could there possibly be?)

Eddie: "Do you want me to call, Max?"

Liz: (trying to get control) "No. He's had enough of my hormonal emotions lately . . . I'll be o.k. Just give me a few minutes."

Eddie: "I'll do better than that. I want you to go home and get some rest. No school. No work. Just rest. After last night, I'm sure you could use some extra sleep."

Liz: "No, that wouldn't be right . . . I have a lot to do today . . . "

Eddie: "Nothing that can't wait a day. Take care of yourself. It's not just you anymore, you know?"

Liz: (so grateful but uncertain) "I don't know . . ."

Eddie: "I do. Now go home. I'll take you myself unless you promise me right now that you'll go . . .

Liz: (smiling through the tears) "I could lie . . ."

Eddie: (smiling back) "I could call Max . . ."

Liz: (surrendering) "Okay, you win . . . I'm going."

She gets up to walk out the door, but looks back to give Eddie one more "thank you," for being so understanding. He, good naturedly, shooes her out the door. Liz walks back home wondering how it was possible to go from perfect to this so fast. Her heart aches . . .

**

When the sun is high in the afternoon sky,
you can always find something to do,
but from dusk til dawn, as the clock ticks on,
something happens to you.
In the wee small hours of the morning,
while the whole wide world is fast asleep,
you lie awake and think about the boy,
and never ever think of counting sheep . . .
In the wee small hours of the morning,
that's the time you miss him most of all . . .

**

She opens the door to her house and walks inside, vaguely, thinking that she needs to eat something. She looks around the kitchen and sets some things out for dinner later, but nothing looks appealing right now. She walks into the bedroom and sits down on the bed. Without even taking off her shoes, she lays down and pulls the bedspread over her. She's asleep within moments of closing her eyes.

An hour later -

Liz wakes up to hear the door opening. She's so startled and disoriented that she bolts up out of the bed, and just stands there trying to stop her head from spinning. Max rushes across the room and catches her right before she falls. He sets her back down on the bed, and notices that she's fully dressed. Kneeling between her feet, he unties her shoe and slips it off.

Liz: "Max?" "What are you doing here? What time is it? It can't be that late . . . "

Max: (still reeling from the shock of seeing her about to fall) "I, uh, . . . came home for lunch." (removing her other shoe)

Liz: (feeling better now that she's off her feet, searches his face) "He called you."

Max: (resting one hand on her leg and bringing the other up to her face) "Yeah, he did. Are you okay?"

Liz: (disgusted) "I'm fine. Eddie, on the other hand, is a corpse."

Max: (grasping for some way to salvage the situation) "Well, you could look on the bright side . . . "

Liz: "Which would be . . . ?"

Max: "I now think he's a prince among men." (and he did, too)

Liz: "How comforting . . . "

Max: (quietly) "He told me about the adoption. Are you sure you're alright?"

Liz: (looking like she might burst into tears, takes a deep breath) "Well . . . darn . . ."

Max: (totally confused) "What?"

Liz: "I was going to have this under control by the time you got here tonight."

Max: "Why?"

Liz: "I'm so tired of crying . . . but I feel so sad . . . I miss him so much . . ."

Max: "Liz . . . I'm a big boy . . . I can handle a few tears."

Liz: "It's been a daily thing, lately . . . " (not looking at him)

Max: (quietly) "You're not alone anymore, Liz. You don't have to handle everything by yourself. I'll be there for you, if you'll let me. In fact, I'll be pretty upset if you don't."

Liz: (putting her hands on either side of his face and kissing him) "I love you."

Max: "I love you, too. When's the last time you had something to eat?"

Liz (wincing): "I was hoping you missed that."

Max: "Unlikely."

Liz: "Well, I thought about it . . . "

Max: (raising one eyebrow) "That's . . . good . . ."

Liz: "You said you were home for lunch. Let's go eat."

Max: (somewhat mollified): "O.k."

They have lunch, and then Max coerces Liz into another nap. He kisses her and goes back to work. He wishes he didn't have to leave her, but he had to get back. She had scared him to death this afternoon. He determined to make sure that she ate breakfast before he left in the mornings from now on. Unfortunately, healing her heart, wasn't as easy. It would take some time . . .

Later That Evening --

Max comes home to find Liz looking a great deal better than she had at lunch time. They have dinner together, and talk about the upcoming wedding of their best friends. Michael had flagged Max down earlier in the day to ask him about being the best man. Max couldn't be happier for Michael and Maria. Liz mentions the bachelorette night to Max, and he relays that he's also being forced into a similar excursion with Michael and Alex. Liz thinks how nice it is, just to be with Max this way. He had done his best to keep her mind off the adoption, and she loved him for it. After dinner, Liz settles down with one of her text books to catch up on a little of the reading she's been neglecting. Max looks like he's about to tackle Mount Everest. Liz can't help smiling at the look on his face.

With calculator and some sort of budget-planning guide in hand, he went to work. A little while later, she takes a break, and peers over his shoulder at the monstrosity of a spreadsheet layed out on the table. She hands him a drink, and rubs his shoulders for a minute, before interrupting him.

Liz: "Max, I think maybe you should take a break from all this . . . financial wizardry."

Max: (looking up at her) "Why?"

Liz: (her heart squeezing at how tired he looks) "I just think you need some rest . . . it's been a hard week."

Max: (rubbing his eyes) "I'm o.k. I'll be done in a little while."

Liz: (trying to figure out how to say this) "Uh, Max . . . I see a small problem in all this planning you're doing."

Max: (puzzled) "What?"

Liz: "You have an awful lot of money in this category." (pointing to lawn maintenance)

Max: "So?"

Liz: (feeling so sorry for him but laughing inspite of herself) "Baby, we live in the desert. "We don't have a yard."

Max (glancing back down at the pre-printed form on the table and shaking his head): "Maybe you should be doing this."

Liz: (rolling her eyes) "Don't be ridiculous. I had several extra hours of sleep today that you didn't get."

Max: (pulling her down on his lap) "And, you look much better for it. How you doin'?"

Liz: "I'm good, and it's all because of you."

Max: "Me?"

Liz: "Yes. You. How about that break . . . or maybe even forget it all together for tonight . . .?"

Max: "Pregnancy has had the most amazing affect on you . . ."

Liz: "How do you know? I mean, I got pregnant right away. Maybe I was like this anyway . . . maybe it's just you that has this affect on me . . ."

Max: "No man deserves that kind of happiness . . . it must be pregnancy related . . ."

Liz: "Max . . ."

Max: "Yeah . . .?"

Liz: "Hush." (kisses him)

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