Liz: At least I’ve been to L.A.
Max: I'm not sure Disneyland counts as L.A.

Isabel: It's perfect. The ring is perfect. You're perfect. But if I wear it, it just announces to the world that we're engaged.
Jesse: Which we are.
Isabel: Right. But the world doesn't know that yet.

Kyle: Might have something to do with the fact that my grandfather lost his job searching for aliens and ruined my dad's life.
Liz: But there are aliens. Your grandfather was right, and your father knows that.
Kyle: Liz, if you're going to start to point out the ironies in my family, I warn you: They never stop.

Kyle: We just found our story. We're about to blow the doors off this place. Show the folks at home the outrageous conditions the elderly are supposed to live in.
Liz: Didn't your grandfather make this mess himself?

Liz: Hey, so how's L.A.?
Max: Big.

Liz: I have a theory. Okay. No matter how many times Nasedo changed his appearance, he always returned to one particular shape.
Max: Ed Harding.
Liz: Yeah. Now, why is that? He could have been anyone.
Max: So why keep going back to a middle-aged bald man?

Liz: Come on, would I steer you wrong?
Max: I don't suppose you could steer me towards the Hollywood cemetery.
Liz: Yeah. I can't help you there, but good luck with that.

Isabel: Yes, Jesse. I'm gonna tell her. Right. Right. I know. Simple, clear, and fearless. Yeah. Ok, I gotta go. Wish me luck. Ok. Bye.
Mrs. Evans: Who was that?
Isabel: It was Maria.

Max: I'm not an actor.
Agent: What, and Keanu Reeves is? All you need is exposure.
Max: That's the last thing I need.

Max: What's a clapper loader?
Bunny: Oh! He's the guy who bangs the thing and goes, "take one, take two."

Max: God, I love you.
Liz: Did she hear that?
Max: Definitely.
Liz: Good. Call me when you find a way out to the Paramount lot. Alone.

Max: I want this audition. This one at Paramount.
Agent: What? A guest shot on Enterprise? Are you crazy? This is a big part. This is a major network show. It's a franchise. It's top of the food chain, kid.
Max: It says it's just a one-day role.

Isabel: Ok, look. There's something I need to tell you both--
Mrs. Evans: --about Max?
Isabel: No. Not about Max. It's about me. Ha ha. It's something I’ve been trying to say for days, but there's just been this weight over everything, and I thought maybe it wasn't the right time, you know, but then I thought, "it is the right time," because it is really good news. It's really, really... Really good news, and if there's anything that this family needs at this moment in time, it's a little joy, right? A little happiness. So, um...
Mrs. Evans: This doesn't sound like really good news,
Isabel: Mom...Dad...I'm getting married to Jesse -- from your office, you know?..... Okay, wow! Ha ha. I feel better. So...What should we eat?

Liz: Kyle, your family is a damn nightmare. Somebody has to break the cycle of silence.

Agent: My guy, my guy! Hey, you got it! You got it!
Max: I did?
Agent: Oh, I'm sure you got it.
Max: Really.
Agent: Absolutely. And if not, there's still Buffy.

Max: You're the shapeshifter. Why'd you kill Ferrini?
Kal Langley: Well... He figured out what I am... And that didn't work for me.

Quote of the Week:

Jonathan Frakes: One minute. Hold on. This character Korgan is an alien. He's an alien from another planet. And right now, I'm not feeling really like... like you're an alien.