LIZ: I'm so confused.
ALEX: I'm so depressed.
MARIA: Wimps.

LIZ: Max keeps coming to my window and telling me he wants to be with me again, but I know it's... it can never work out.
ALEX: Isabel, she gave me another one of those "Alex, you're such a great friend" speeches. It made me want to puke.
MARIA:I have Michael Guerin. He's mine. You should have seen his face when he apologized to me. His eyes were practically begging me to take his sorry ass back. I have so landed him for once and for all...I think.

PSYCHIC: This boy... very volatile.
MARIA: That's good for sex, right?

LIZ: No, you're not Max, okay? You... you're like a shapeshifter. You are like some other kind of alien, with, like, the ability to look like Max with that beard and those... and those grey hairs.
FUTURE MAX: Do you really see grey?

FUTURE MAX: 3...2...1.
LIZ: Well?
FUTURE MAX: I said approximately.

MARIA: We need to talk.
MICHAEL: Talk?
MARIA: Yeah, about our relationship.
MICHAEL: You gotta be joking me.

COURTNEY: You handle your machine really good.
MICHAEL: Thanks.
COURTNEY: Well, I guess it's time for another night curled up in my sheets, fondling my remote control.
MICHAEL: I guess.
COURTNEY: Unless, of course, you want to be my remote control for the night?

KYLE: You look really great when you're pissed.
TESS: Yeah, right.
KYLE: No, I'm serious. I feel, like, all this energy coming from you right now. In order to trim the lamp of wisdom, we must attend to our bodily needs.
TESS: Let me tell you something, Buddha-boy... I got a lamp that needs some serious trimming.

FUTURE MAX: He sat down. You got him to sit down with her.
LIZ: Rah-rah. What?

LIZ:No. Making love to you is the farthest thing from my mind. I... I don't even have protection.
FUTURE MAX: I did.

KYLE: This brings back memories.
LIZ: Kyle, we were never in bed together.

LIZ: Right. And when we kiss...
KYLE: No tongue. I'm on board.
LIZ: Yeah. Ok.
KYLE: I'm here to help. My body's merely a vessel.
LIZ: Ok.

Quote of the Week:

LIZ: Hi.
KYLE: Well, you here for a reason, or you just rushed right over 'cause you sensed I might be experiencing some actual joy?